Through the Looking Glass
by karate0kat
Summary: When the Demetrius runs into Cavil's forces, they must make an emergency blind jump. Finding themselves stranded in a strange world, they're soon picked up by a ship called Serenity and its motley crew.
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** Through the Looking Glass  
**Author:** **karate0kat**  
**Word Count:** 63,000+  
**Rating:** PG-13 (for brief sexuality, language, violence)  
**Pairings:** Kara/Sam, Jayne/Jean (Barolay), Mal/Inara, mentions of Kaylee/Simon, Zoe/Wash, and Helo/Athena  
**Warnings:** The story begins with a crash and there are several characters that die. They are all relatively minor characters and their deaths are not graphic and in fact happen 'off screen'.  
**Summary:** When the Demetrius runs into Cavil's forces, they must make an emergency blind jump. Finding themselves stranded in a strange world, they're soon picked up by a ship called Serenity and its motley crew. AU for BSG after Ties That Bind, starts after Objects in Space for the Firefly 'verse.  
**Notes:** Written for **bsg_bigbang** . I cannot praise my beta **merrykk** enough. Not only did she provide me with wonderful feedback and notes but she put up with truly insane brainstorming emails during the planning stages. Seriously, I think some of them were almost as long as this fic. You're a doll, Merry!

* * *

**Chapter 1**

Joining the Demetrius mission wasn't really a choice for Sam. Where Kara went so did he, it was that simple. She was the one thing left in his life he was totally sure of. He would never regret a decision that kept them together.

That didn't mean he had to like the accommodations.

"I don't think I've smelled anything this bad since we blew up that waste station on Caprica," Jean hissed at him as they trudged towards the crew bunks. Sam wrinkled his nose in agreement.

"Look on the bright side. At least this time we're not going to have sewage start raining down on us." Jean snorted.

"Yeah, we didn't really think that one through very carefully.

"We _were_ in a hurry," he reminded her. She shook her head and sighed.

"Frakking toasters." Sam swallowed hard and managed a nod of agreement. What she didn't know couldn't hurt her.

The bunks were different than what the pilots used on Galactica, but not by much. Everything was crowded and dim, and as an extra bonus the Demetrius was hot. Someone joked about cracking a window, but Sam couldn't muster any amusement. He doubted anyone else would be joking before long.

**********

Of all the things Kara expected to get from Adama after everything that had happened, her own ship to command was not on the list. Knowing that there was still enough trust for him give her the chance to prove herself gave her a dull sense of hope that she clung too. His lack of reaction when she'd hugged him had stung, but she pushed that to the back of her head. She had to focus.

The jumps the Galactica had taken had frakked with her sense of direction. When she'd first landed she'd been sure she could have pointed out on a map exactly where to go. But now the feeling was distant, a bare echo of what it had been.

She gave her first command to Gaeta. They would retrace their steps back to the nebula and set out from there. She could only hope that as she got closer the feeling would grow stronger.

**********

Kara must not have looked too closely at the roster for the mission. Sam could clearly see the surprise in her eyes when she ran into him in one of the corridors.

"Hey," was all he said.

"I didn't…hey." She was distracted, her eyes not really focusing on him for more than a few seconds before darting off again. When they did settle on him it was on his military tanks and tags, not his face.

"I guess you weren't expecting to command your husband on this mission. Or, you know, ever." He tried to tease, to get her to at least smile if not laugh. But she was too far gone. Her brow furrowed and she stared at him blankly. "Are you OK?" he asked, worried.

"I'm fine, I just have a lot to do." She moved around him, steps purposefully. He watched her go as she marched towards her quarters, and was surprised when she stopped a ways away and turned back to him.

"You're on duty for the next scout run." That was it, and she turned back and left. Sam sighed and resigned himself to worrying for the rest of the trip.

**********

Dammit, it wasn't working. It didn't make sense, if she could feel it here before why couldn't she now? It seemed simple when she started out. Go back to where she felt it, pick up the trail again, and follow it to Earth. But it wasn't here. It was like someone had plucked it out of the sky and moved it somewhere else, and she didn't know where.

She had to figure it out, had to decide which way to start chasing. It was a big sky, she had to choose carefully. She couldn't take the time to apologize to Sam or ask him why he was here are continue their conversation about when he'd become a pilot. Everything she had had to go towards Earth.

She would find it, even if it killed her.

**********

"So come on, Sam. Make me feel something. I dare you."

There was a part of Sam's brain that knew he should just walk away. But a larger part needed this as much as she said she did. He needed to touch her, to reassure himself that she was really there; needed her to touch him, to have someone who didn't know just how frakked up and confusing his very existence had become to embrace him like nothing had changed.

He didn't care how she treated him just as long as she still looked at him like he was Samuel T. Anders.

He slid into her and the bite of her nails on his back lessened, her lips gentled on his and she kissed him with what was almost tenderness. Or maybe not. Maybe he imagined it. Maybe he was so desperate for connection that he could delude himself into thinking it was like old times. He didn't care if it was real or not, he wanted to lose himself in her and stop thinking so damn much.

He just wanted her to make him feel something.

**********

Kara gasped as she let the sensations wash over her. This was what she needed, to push everything out of her head so all she could do was feel. She looked at Sam above her and reared up to capture his lips. It was so familiar, something they'd always done well. She wanted that familiarity, wanted to feel like Kara again.

Sam tangled a hand in her hair and kissed her back hard, his other hand pulling her more firmly against him. She ran her hands over his arms, rubbing lightly where she knew his tattoo was. The tattoo he'd shoved in her face earlier. _That is part of who you are_, he'd said. She clung to that now, that reminder of who she was. Wrapped her arms around him and called his name as she arched her back.

**********

Sam nuzzled into her neck, breathing deeply while they both trembled in the aftermath. He doubted she'd let him hold her for long; she'd never been one for cuddling, so he made good use of her temporary immobility. He ran a hand over her stomach while he trailed kisses along her jaw, soothing her tense muscles. She turned into him a tiny bit and he kissed her mouth. She kissed him back briefly before pushing him away, as he knew she would.

He sat back against the bulkhead of the bunk while she pulled a sheet around herself. Sam expected her to get up, tell him to get out, and go back to her painting or maybe go over to the desk of star charts. Instead she settled back, leaning against his propped up knee. He said nothing while she stared off into space.

"We were married, weren't we?" she asked at length. "I mean, that wasn't just like a fantasy."

"Hell no," Sam breathed heavily. "And I got the scars to prove it." It was a poor attempt at a joke, but he was too tired to make much of an effort, and he doubted she would even notice.

"Does that seem different to you somehow?" she continued.

"Different how?"

"Not sure. It's like everything seems so far away. The way things feel. The way they taste. Like I'm watching myself, but I'm not really experiencing it, not living it. Like my body's just this alien thing that I'm still attached to. Does that seem crazy to you?"

Sam stared at her back, grateful she couldn't see him. He had a feeling one look at his face right now would give away all his secrets. She couldn't know how close to home she was hitting, but he kept his mouth shut. He wasn't sure she was really looking for an answer anyway. They sat in silence awhile longer, Kara growing more and more distant until finally she pulled away from him and stood.

"You should go, I have work to do." Sam sighed and gathered his own clothes while she dressed. He'd gotten his pants on and was reaching for his shirt when she came up to him again. She gripped his face in her hands and kissed him, hard but quick. She'd kissed him like that before, when she left him after New Caprica; an 'I'm sorry I'm so frakked up' kiss. Saying nothing she turned her back to him and went to her desk. Taking one last look over his shoulder he walked out and left her alone.

**********

Kara marched into the CIC, excitement and adrenaline fueling her sleep deprived body. She ignored the two marines standing sentry by the door and went straight to Helo and Gaeta where they were huddled around the center consol.

"I have jump coordinates for you." She tossed her specs to Gaeta and watched impatiently while he scanned them over.

"These are actual _new_ coordinates," he said with some surprise. Kara glowered.

"Yeah, your point?"

He went to work while she started pacing, scanning the rest of the room. Seelix sat one of the work stations, and Kara struggled to remember that she was a pilot now, not a deckhand. There was so much she'd missed, so much she had to remember, so much she didn't have time to concentrate on. She could see the others were relieved they had new coordinates to jump to, which only served to annoy her. It shouldn't godsdamn matter where they were going, they had orders to follow and that should be enough. Still, if it meant she wouldn't have deal with everyone breathing down her neck quite so much she could live with it.

The roll in the sack with Sam had done more to clear her head then she'd expected. For awhile she'd felt almost human. His demanding hands and the sharp pleasure of release had brought her more to herself than she'd been since her return to Galactica. But the minute they'd pulled apart she'd felt the strange dullness return. At first she'd mourned the loss of feeling, but with the dullness came the sense of Earth, the pull she'd been missing. It was as if she'd let herself be bogged down by the day to day drudgery of life, but once she'd returned to the most basic elemental state of being the otherworldliness had found its way back in. If she could just hold on to that feeling a little longer she knew she could find Earth as she'd promised to.

She watched Gaeta plotting the jump and kept pacing.

**********

Sam sat in the empty mess hall, annoyed with himself. The rest of the crew were all either off doing their jobs or getting some rack time, but Sam wanted to be alone. He hadn't intended on jumping Kara. In fact he couldn't quite remember, now that the passion had faded, why he'd given into her. He'd meant to demand answers, to get her to open up to him and explain her bizarre behavior. Instead he had a feeling he'd just enabled it.

He took another pull on his cigarette and rubbed his forehead tiredly. He didn't know what to make of what she'd said to him afterwards. The way she'd talked about feeling disconnected…Sam didn't know if he should hope that she was a Cylon or not. Nothing made any damn sense anymore, and he was getting pretty sick of being confused all the time.

"Hey Sam," Athena greeted him as she came in. "Don't suppose your visit with Starbuck got us anything useful?" Sam gave a humorless laugh as she sat on the table next to him.

"Not unless you count some new bruises as useful." Athena winced slightly.

"I'm sorry," she said sincerely. "I know it can't be easy." She leaned down, resting her elbows on her knees. "I remember how bad it was when we thought she was dead. Your drunken flying leap from the top of a viper was hot gossip for while." Sam grimaced at the memory. "Then she came back. I was there; I saw your face, how happy you were. But she's different now. She's…" Athena trailed off.

"Yeah," Sam grunted, equally incapable of describing Kara's current state.

"It pisses me off." Athena bit out. "She was my friend, and seeing her like this…but I don't know if it's even her. If she's a Cylon, or something else…I don't know if I should be angry _at_ her or _for_ her." Sam hesitated for a just a moment before asking what he wanted.

"Would it matter to you? If she _were_ a Cylon? I mean, you know firsthand that not all Cylons are the same, that they don't all want the same things. If someone you knew turned out to be one of the Five, would it change things for you?" Athena was silent while she considered her answer, staring off into space.

"Honestly?" she turned to look at him. "I don't know. I know that Cylons are individuals capable of making their own choices, but I also know how few actually do, and how devious and manipulative we can be. I don't know anything about the Five, none of us do. Why they left us, what they've been doing, how they're different than the rest of us? All of that would make a difference. I just…I don't know." She looked him in the eye, and for just a second Sam wondered if she suspected the real reason he asked, but the moment passed and Athena stood.

"Come on, rook," she said in a suddenly breezy manner that belied their proceeding conversation. "One crazy, brooding head case is more than enough on this ship. Get your mopey ass up. Pulled the raptor into the hold for a maintenance check, could use some help with the com system." Sam smiled slightly as he got up to follow, knowing she really didn't need help and just wanted to distract him. He wondered how long he could keep lying to her face. To everyone.

**********

"Alright, jump prep complete, FTL spun up. We are go to jump on your command, Captain." Gaeta looked at her expectantly.

"Do it," Kara said shortly. He played his hands across the board and inserted the jump key into its slot.

"Jump in 10, 9, 8, 7, 6…" Kara could feel her blood pumping faster, her whole body singing that this was right, that something was waiting for them on the other side.

"…5, 4, 3, 2, 1, jump." Kara closed her eyes as they shifted, reopening them when it was over. The CIC was quiet as Gaeta checked their position on the instruments. The quiet didn't last.

"DRADIS contact!"

**********

The alarm had barely begun to sound when Sam was flung to the side. He smacked into the wall and caught Athena as she fell against him.

"Thanks," she said shortly.

"What the hell was that?" Sam asked. They glanced at each other and by unspoken agreement headed for the CIC.

Athena climbed the steps to the next level quickly, Sam on her heals. They'd only made it halfway down the corridor when an even larger explosion rocked the ship. Sam fell to the floor as everything trembled violently. He waited until the last of the tremors had passed before pushing to his feet, staggering to Athena who still lay on the ground. Blood poured from a cut on her forehead, but her eyes were open and clear on Sam's as he helped her up. He was pretty sure he had some cuts of his own.

They ran this time, blood mingling with the sweat on their skin.

The CIC was in chaos. Sparks flew as another small shock knocked things about. Sam raced to Kara as she steadied herself against the center console, her eyes flashing to his for an instant before refocusing on the DRADIS. Sam looked as well and let out a shocked hiss. Six Cylon base ships surrounded them. He knew full well the five vipers and single raptor they had with them were completely useless against an attack of this magnitude. They were well and truly frakked.

"Gaeta, what's taking so long?" Kara shouted over the still blaring alarm.

"The FTL drive took damage on the first wave of the attack. It'll be up again any second but we're still working on a jump point."

"Frak that, jump as soon as FTL is up."

"You want us to jump blind?" he asked.

"You got any other ideas that don't end with us dead?" she tossed back pointedly as the walls shook. "We're out of time."

Gaeta acknowledged her with a weak nod. He reached for his computer, hoping to input coordinates that wouldn't land them in the middle of a planet, but his fingers never touched the keyboard. The most violent impact yet tossed them all about like rag dolls. Sam grabbed the nearest solid object and held on tight as the world spun 'round and 'round.

**********

"Hull breach!" Helo called out, swearing as he checked the board. "Port side, deck five. Gaeta, get- Gaeta!" The panic in Helo's voice had Kara racing towards the pair before she could even clearly see what was going on. They knelt next to the fallen man and her stomach clenched. Gaeta's leg was broken, badly. Bone stuck out through the bloody wound and his face had gone white. Kara reached for him to try and stop the bleeding, but more sparks and debris rained down on them. Helo used his body to shield Gaeta as best he could, but the jarring motions of the ship caused him to cry out in agony.

"Kara!" Helo shouted. "Get us out of here, now!" She pushed herself up and lunged for the FTL controls. She saw Sam bent over a limp Seelix, saw Athena wrench at the controls of the ship, trying uselessly to maneuver them away from the fray. Shutting it out as best she could she turned her attention to the board. Her hand paused over the controls, a strange feeling of purpose washing over her, and her eyes drifted closed for a moment.

"Kara!" someone shouted. She couldn't even tell who anymore. She opened her eyes and began punching in numbers. She didn't know where they were coming from, didn't know where they would lead. But she knew they weren't random. Somehow she knew this wasn't a blind jump. She grabbed the jump key, rammed it home and twisted.

"JUMP!"

**********


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Mal walked through the cargo hold, trying to shake off his impatience. They'd gone longer than he liked between jobs, and he was ready for some action. Noticing the panel to one of the many smuggling nooks on the ship was slightly ajar he pulled it back to check why and nearly jumped out of his skin.

"_Tah mah duh hwoon dahn!_" Mal shouted in surprise. "Kaylee, what in the hell are you doin'?"

"Sorry Cap'n," the small mechanic said sheepishly as she crawled out of the cubbyhole she'd been curled up in. "Me and River was just playing hide n' seek." Mal, about to launch into a lecture, paused to consider that.

"How exactly does that work given her…unique talents?"

"I reckon she knows where I am just 'bout as soon as I figure where to hide. But she seems to like pretendin' to look."

"It's not pretend," a small voice cut in. Mal and Kaylee both looked over at River, who was peaking around the corner. "The place doesn't matter, it doesn't last. It's transient, insubstantial, a poor construct of the mind designed to fool us into thinking we're hidden away."

"Uh huh," Mal said slowly, not really paying attention. He knew full well he wouldn't understand what she was talking about anyway. "That's certainly somethin', and I'm glad you gals are havin' such a grand time, but I got a ship to run, and we'll be landin' on Malire soon, so if you could maybe tend to your duties…?" Mal sent a pointed look Kaylee's way.

"Gonna get us a job?" she asked as they moved toward the catwalk leading out of the cargo hold.

"That's the plan. I ain't too sure as to the nature of that job just yet, but Cypher's never steered us wrongly before."

"That's good. We haven't had any good crime recently, might be nice to get back in the saddle."

"After that _hwun dan_ bounty hunter I figured we'd be best served lying low for a time. But seein' as we've gone a couple weeks now without a peep from neither the Alliance nor anyone else I reckon he didn't share our whereabouts. We've gone 'bout as long as we can without new work and Jayne in particular seems a might anxious to shoot something." They stopped when they reached the top level of the ship.

"Sorry 'bout playin' in the holds, Cap'n," Kaylee said sweetly before kissing him on the cheek and heading for the engine room.

"You just take care of our girl, _mei mei_." Kaylee waved her hand dismissively over her shoulder without looking at him. The corner of Mal's mouth twitched with a slight grin. Turning towards the dining room, he noticed that River was still trailing behind him. "What are you doin' now, little one?"

"Following you."

"Well…yeah, I mean aside from that." She smiled at him, in a somewhat eerie fashion by his thinking, and moved past, walking down the short hallway to the dining room where the others were gathered. Following her lead he entered the room just as Jayne was finishing cleaning one of his larger guns.

"Jayne, I realize I said I didn't know what to expect on this run, but I really wasn't plannin' on havin' you shoot anyone quite that much."

"Ah hell Mal, I wasn't goin' ta _take_ Vera, I was just making her look purty. Gun like this, you have to give her attention, let her know you care." Mal rolled his eyes at Zoe, who was finishing up her own weapons maintenance.

"Mal," Inara stood as she spoke, leaving the lounge cushions where she'd been speaking with Book. "Might I have a word with you? In private?"

"Of course," Mal said, steeling himself. He knew full well what the imminent conversation was about, and he wasn't much looking forward to it. They moved to the passageway heading to the cockpit, but stopped halfway down, far enough from either room to not be overheard as long as they spoke quietly.

"What are you doing, Mal?"

"Talkin' to you?"

"Don't be obtuse! You know what I'm talking about. I didn't get off at New Melbourn as I'd planned to because you assured me that you'd dock on a planet closer to the core."

"I wasn't expectin' a bounty hunter to hop on the ship in the middle of space and gum up the plans!" She shook her head.

"Your crew's safety is important to you and you wanted to lay low; you've explained all this before and I agree that sticking to the rim moons for a time was a wise move. But Malire, Mal? You couldn't find work on any planet _not_ known for debauchery and violence?"

"I wouldn't think the debauchery would be a problem for a woman in your profession."

"The whore jokes got old a long time ago," she said irately. Mal took a breath and rubbed the back of his neck. What was it about this woman that every time they talked it turned into a fight? Inara sighed.

"I'm leaving, Mal. It doesn't matter how long you put it off, I'm still leaving."

"You still haven't told the crew."

"I'll tell them once I know when and where exactly it is that I'm getting off."

"You'd do that to Kaylee?" he asked accusingly, and her eyes lowered. "You'd wait to tell her 'til right before you're gone so you don't have to deal with the aftermath?" Inara looked back up at him, anger burning in her eyes.

"_Chur ni-duh_. Kaylee is my friend. I know it will hurt her but she's stronger than you give her credit for. She'll be fine. I know what I'm doing Mal."

"So do I!"

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"It means-"

"Is everything alright?" Wash interrupted, coming down the stairs from the cockpit. Mal hadn't realized until then that they'd been steadily raising their voices. He wasn't sure how much Wash had heard, but judging from his face it was enough to know this was more serious than their usual tiffs.

"Fine and dandy," Mal lied. "You need somethin'?" Wash looked between the two uneasily but let it go.

"We'll be entering atmo in the next few minutes. You want me to land in the east dock like usual?"

"No," Mail said impulsively. "Find a nice flat stretch of land clear of town limits then set us down." He looked at Inara. "Those of you staying onboard shouldn't have to expose yourselves to the…unpleasantness that goes on there." He turned and walked back the dining room before Inara could respond.

"Zoe, Jayne, make certain you have what you need. Wash'll be settin' us down outside town shortly."

"Outside of town, sir?"

"Indeed. I'm mighty certain no else is comin' lookin' for us anytime soon, but I don't much like taking unnecessary risks with my ship either. We'll keep her off the grid for awhile longer yet, just in case." He pulled his own gun from its holster and checked its ammo, more out of habit than actual concern. He knew full well it was ready to fire. The three of them headed down to the cargo bay.

The time it took to land after entering atmo was short; Wash was good at his job. Mal and Zoe were making some last minute preparations, loading up a few supplies they could sell or trade while in town if needed, when Kaylee joined them.

"Everythin' checks out Cap'n, no repairs needed, and the fuel we have should last us for now. The stuff here ain't that good anyway, it's best we can wait for somethin' better quality." They glanced up as the rest of the crew came in.

"I hope you'll try to avoid any undue trouble," Book said in his paternal way. He turned to Jayne. "You in particular. Try not to shoot anyone, if possible." Jayne grinned.

"You take all the fun out of it, Shepherd." Book gave him a good humored smile in return.

"All right, let's head out," Mal said. "Those of you stayin', feel free to enjoy the beautiful day out, but don't stray far from the ship. If we-"

"It's coming!" The group turned as one at River's interjection, watching wearily as she clutched her head and breathed heavily.

"River?" Simon had torn himself away from his infirmary to see them off, and he moved now to his sister, hand touching her shoulder tentatively. She jerked away.

"The stars, they won't stay stars. They move and move and fall." She half collapsed and Simon caught her shoulders. "But it's not a star anymore. It turned into an angel and the angel fell. She can't stay up anymore and she's falling down and down." She looked at Simon with tears in her eyes and whispered.

"Something bad is going to happen."

**********


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Mal was grinning when they returned from the meet. He never tired of seeing his ship gleaming in the sun, ready to carry them wherever they needed. Having a job again certainly didn't hurt matters one bit. Having a job that was going to give him a great deal of personal satisfaction was just icing on the cake.

Kaylee, Wash, and River were playing some sort of game with a ball at the bottom of the open cargo ramp. Mal didn't know what the game was as it didn't resemble anything he'd ever seen before, but River seemed more aware of her surroundings, laughing with the others and tossing the ball when it was her turn, so that was something. Simon stood near the entrance of the ship, watching silently. Mal wondered how long it had taken to get her calmed.

Her sudden outburst had put a slight damper on the start of the day, but it wasn't anything Simon hadn't handled before, and Mal had taken his group to town after Simon and Inara had led the weeping girl away. Now Mal could see that Simon was more uptight even than usual. He didn't much blame him. The crazier River acted the harder it was for everyone else on the crew, a fact he knew didn't escape the young doctor.

"They're back!" Kaylee called, catching sight of them.

"We have a job then?" Wash asked expectantly.

"We do," Zoe said tersely as she looked over at Mal. He knew she had reservations about the agreement, but she would back him. Which would be important, as he expected some unhappiness from the others. The price tag had been enough to mollify Jayne, but the rest wouldn't be so easily convinced.

Wash slung an arm over Zoe's shoulder, clearly not concerned with getting details just yet, and they turned to head back into the ship. Grabbing up the ball, Kaylee and the others followed. All, except one.

"River, come on, it's time to go." Mal glanced back when he heard Simon calling to his sister, and saw she was still standing at the bottom of the ramp, staring straight up at the sky. The others paused as well, everyone wondering just what she was going to do now.

"They're here."

"Who's here, _mei mei_?"

"The angels."

Mal had seen that girl do things and know things she shouldn't be able to. Without hesitation he strode up beside her and followed her gaze with his own, feeling his crew amble down beside him. Thoughts of the Alliance entered his head, but he reassured himself that River would be far more upset if they were anywhere near.

For a moment nothing happened. The sky was as blue and cloudless as it had been all day long. Then suddenly it wasn't empty anymore. A light flashed, bright enough to be seen even with the sun shining nearby. When it cleared a large black object that hadn't been there a second ago began plummeting towards the ground with alarming speed. It was far too high up to see clearly at first, but it wasn't long before they could make out a few details.

"_Whu de ma_," Zoe bit out. "It's a ship, sir". Mal could see now that she was right. The crew watched silently in horror, helpless to do anything else as the strange craft continued its descent. A large chunk seemed to break away as it tumbled, and Mal cursed as he realized its trajectory.

"Everyone inside now!" he shouted, grabbing River around the waist before she could protest. He needn't have bothered though, she moved quicker than anyone. "Take cover." The crew complied, bracing themselves behind crates in the cargo bay as Mal hit the button to shut the hatch. He'd barely had time to crouch down when a deafening crash sounded outside and the whole ship shook.

It was over quickly, and soon the only sound on the ship was the hard breathing of the frightened crew. Mal stood cautiously, hoping the main ship had landed further off. After a moment, when nothing else happened, he motioned for the others to come out. He was about to head for the exit when footsteps hurried along the catwalk above.

"Mal! Is everyone all right?" Inara asked worriedly.

"What happened?" Book was right behind her.

"Ship crashed nearby," he said somewhat shakily. "Some of the debris came right for us. I'm goin' to check out the damage. Zoe, Jayne, with me. The rest of you stay back for now, just in case." He hit the control console and the hatch lowered back down. He was down the ramp before it had even finished its descent.

A huge cloud of dust made it hard to see, but it couldn't completely obscure the blackened rift in the ground where the debris had hit and dragged. He followed the trail, noting as they rounded the ship that it had just barely missed dinging Serenity's side. As they went further the dust began to clear and they could see ahead of them. A few dozen yards away lay a large chunk of twisted metal. They drew even closer and Mal grimaced as it began to take an almost recognizable shape.

"Zoe," he said shortly, breaking into a light run. It was a ship, a small shuttle of some kind. With Zoe at his back, hand on her weapon, Mal reached the craft and used his momentum to jump on top. Cupping his hands over his eyes to block out the sun and smoke, he pressed his face to the window and peered inside. Something inside him loosened when he found it unoccupied.

"Empty," he said, turning and sliding back down to the ground.

"I don't know 'bout you two, but I ain't never seen nothin' like this here," Jayne puzzled out loud.

"He ain't wrong," Zoe murmured. "Where in the 'verse did this come from?" They looked it over again, and Mal could see the small craft only made up half the mass of the pile of rubble. Attached to its bottom was a chunk of smoldering metal, crumpled beyond recognition.

"I really don't know," Mal said, looking at the painted lettering along the side of the shuttle. "Galactica," he read off.

"Captain." Mal looked back as Book called out from the front of the ship. Motioning to the others to follow, he jogged back. "Wash is up in the cockpit; he says he got a lock on where the rest landed. It's a fair distance, but within an easy trip."

"We should go, see if anyone needs help," Simon spoke up.

"_Dung ee hwar_, we got us a paying job to do. Ain't none of our business if some folk got themselves in mess. Let the locals handle it." Jayne said roughly.

"The people here are more likely to kill any survivors so they can take their belongings then help them," Inara cut in, eyes on Mal. He stared back, acknowledging her concern with a slight nod.

"Am I the only one not fogettin' how that gorram thing appeared out of nowhere?" Jayne continued. "Ain't nothin' good can come of gettin' mixed up in that kind of _fei hua._"

"I have a responsibility as a doctor to-"

"Ain't nobody talkin' to you, fancy-pants."

"Leave him be, Jayne," Kaylee cut in.

"_Bizui!_" Mal called out, interrupting the argument before it could grow. He went to the com box and signaled the cockpit. "Wash, fly us over to the crash site, see if you can't find us a place to land."

"On it," Wash acknowledged. Zoe shut the loading bay door as the engine started up, and Mal turned back to the group.

"If anyone's in need of doctorin', Simon here will give it to them, least until such time as we can get them to an aid station on planet. If no one's left we'll take what we can for salvage."

"Captain!" Book sounded appalled.

"It's a practicality, Shepherd. Planet like this, someone's going to find that crash, sooner rather than later, and they _will_ take what they want, regardless of if anyone's left. Least with us any dead can have a proper burial with an actual preacher. We'll show them respect they won't get nowhere else on this rock."

Not waiting for a reply Mal turned and headed up toward the second level and his quarters. There was a good chance some of the dust from the cloud outside had gotten into his gun, and he wanted time to clean it before they got there. With the luck he'd been having today he'd probably end up needing it.

**********

Kara groaned. Her head felt enormous, and her ears rang slightly. Through the ring she could make out a few other sounds; a low but persistent moan, the sharp sounds of electronics sparking, the scrape of something being dragged across the grated floor. She opened her eyes a crack and but quickly shut them again. It was dim in the CIC, but even the slight glow from the barely functioning equipment was enough to make her head hurt more.

She tried to remember the sequence of events. She'd jumped them, she remembered that. Then more alarms, Athena shouting they were in atmo, a huge wrenching sound as the pressure of gravity crushed more of the already compromised ship. They'd lost a viper, she thought. The part of the hull it had been attached to had been ripped away, leaving Helo shouting about hull breaches and oxygen levels.

Footsteps approached, breaking into Kara's reverie, and someone knelt by her side.

"Kara?" Sam croaked, hand brushing her throat, checking her pulse. Head still pounding, Kara slapped his hand away and forced her eyes to stay open this time. She looked up at Sam, at the relief painted on his face, and almost felt guilty about slapping at him. She let him put an arm around her shoulders as she sat up to make up for it. It didn't hurt to have him steadying her anyway; her vision blurred a bit as she reoriented herself.

"Frak," she stated shortly.

"That about sums it up," he agreed. He helped her to her feet, and kept one arm loosely around her waist to make sure she stayed that way.

"Take it easy. You've been out for almost ten minutes. We couldn't find any obvious injuries, but you wouldn't wake up." Kara heard the fear in his voice, and understood the relief he'd shown when she'd opened her eyes. She put one hand over his and squeezed lightly. It was the only reassurance she could manage for the moment.

More moaning came from a few feet away. Kara looked down and felt a sickening weight in her stomach.

"Gaeta." Pulling away from Sam she moved to the other man's side, kneeling gingerly. Someone had tied a brown cloth around his thigh hoping to cut off the blood supply and, in addition to the blood stopper that had been poured in the wound, lessen the severity of the blood loss. Looking up again she saw Helo at one of the few working consoles. Kara noted with inappropriate amusement (the kind of amusement that happens when it's either laugh or dissolve into hysterics), that he was missing one of his tanks, which must be what was tied around Gaeta's leg. She'd seen Sam wear the gray under-tank alone before, but for someone reason it just seemed wrong on Helo.

Seeing an open med kit lying nearby Kara dug around until she found another morpha shot. Gaeta's eyes opened as she prepared it.

"Starbuck?" he groaned weakly.

"Take it easy Lieutenant. _We_ are going take care of things," she stuck him and hit the depressor, "and _you_ are just going lay there and relax." She watched as his eyes slid closed and the painful tension left his body. "We'll figure this out," she whispered after he was unconscious. She looked back up at Helo. "Sit rep?" He looked at her grimly.

"Sensors are showing the air here is breathable. That's about the only good news for you I have." Kara took a deep breath.

"Fantastic. The bad news?" she prompted.

"We're dead in the water. The damage incurred during the Cylon attack was bad enough, but the added stress of gravity damaged the structural supports. We've got holes punched all along her port and aft sides. Even if we could get her up again, which we can't since the Demetrius wasn't designed to launch in atmo, there's no way she's space worthy."

"Son of a-," Kara hissed. She looked around at the damaged CIC. Equipment hung crookedly or had fallen off its supports completely. One wall buckled in at a sharp angle, and the ceiling on that end of the room was at least four feet lower than it had been before. "How are we not all dead right now?"

"Engines stayed running after the jump; the counter thrust slowed us down just enough so we didn't turn into pancakes on impact." Kara sighed.

"Where's Athena?"

"Checking on the raptor," Sam spoke quietly, pressing a wadded up cloth to a cut on her left shoulder. Kara hissed at the sting, but let him clean the bloody wound.

Her thoughts were with Athena down in the hold. With the Demetrius grounded for good that raptor was their only chance of making the rendezvous with Galactica. If they could get a team home they could send rescue for the rest of the crew.

She started to stand but saw Seelix and the two marines from the door lying on the floor behind some rubble. Frowning, wondering why no one was tending to them, she grabbed for the med kit. Seeing what she was doing Sam stopped her, holding her arm gently. He simply shook his head. It was all Kara needed to know it was too late to help them. She remembered the scrapping sounds she'd heard when she first woke, and thought it must have been Sam moving the bodies off to the side. She didn't have time to react before Athena rushed back in.

"Raptor's gone," she said plainly. "FTL drives and com systems look mostly undamaged, but the front half is completely crushed." Helo swore loudly. Athena looked down, breathing hard, sadness on her face.

"It gets worse. I went to check on the other survivors while I was down there."

"And?" Athena took a deep breath

"There are none," she said shortly. Kara felt sick.

"Oh Gods," she whispered. She turned her back on the others and leaned heavily against the wall. Athena continued to speak behind her.

"One of the hull breaches vented the crew quarters; everyone who was sleeping is just gone. The rest of the ship is…there aren't many places not catastrophically damaged. The CIC is the most protected place on any ship. Anyone who was anywhere else…" she trailed off.

Kara's shoulders slumped, grief threatening to overwhelm her. They were dead because of her. She'd given Gaeta the coordinates that led them to the Cylons, and she'd jumped them into the atmosphere of a planet, destroying the ship and any chance of a return to Galactica. She'd taken all of their lives and thrown them away for a feeling.

A feeling she didn't even have any more.

She took several deep breaths and straightened her shoulders. There wasn't time for this. Almost her entire crew had been killed because of her orders, and she would have to find a way to live with that, but right now she needed to focus on those few who were still alive.

"OK, one thing at a time. We need to help Gaeta, or he's not going to last much longer. We're going to have to set his leg ourselves."

"We have a limited supply of morpha left," Helo reminded her.

"Which is why we should do this while he's still out." She knelt next to him again. "Athena, grab-" she broke off as the DRADIS began to beep angrily. Helo moved to check it.

"No, no, no. Frak me, we've got incoming Captain."

"Cylons?" she asked, tense.

"Who else could it be? Not picking up a recognizable signature, but everything's beat to hell in here. I don't trust it to be accurate."

"How the hell did they track us through a jump?" Sam asked. It was a good question.

Kara looked over at his grim face, at Helo's anxious one. She considered their options. They all had side arms, but that wouldn't be enough. Athena's face was blank, betraying no emotion. Kara faced her as she stood.

"Can we still get to the weapons locker?" Athena paused, considering.

"I think so."

"Then let's grab what we can. The Cylons want to kill us, doesn't mean we have to make it easy for them." The four Demetrius crew members still standing looked at each other and an understanding passed between them. This would be their final stand.

They left Gaeta in the CIC. He'd woken briefly, had understood their hurried explanation. Kara had moved the med kit closer to him in case he needed it, and he'd grabbed the remaining morpha shots and held them close. Kara understood. If the next people who came through the CIC door were Cylons, Gaeta would end it before they could take him.

Helo had estimated an ETA of four minutes or less, so they moved quickly. It wasn't easy. Athena hadn't been exaggerating the extent of the damage and they had to weave through the debris. Since she'd already made the trip once she took the lead, showing them the quickest way through the gaps in the twisted metal.

The weapons locker was small, really just a repurposed closet near the Captain's room, only stocked with a few last resort weapons. When the Admiral had given them the Demetrius, a civilian ship, they'd outfitted it the best they could for a military mission, but the primary defense added were the vipers. Since it was unlikely they were still functional, and Kara had never even tried to launch one in atmo, they would have to rely on the more up close and personal approach.

And if the Cylons bombed the ship from a distance then at least they'd die with weapons in hand.

Athena passed out what they had, but it wasn't much. It took less than thirty seconds to disperse everything in the locker, and then they were moving again, down a level and towards the side of the ship the enemy was approaching.

They reached the bulkhead and found one of the rifts that had been torn in it. They worked fast, dragging a few heavy objects over for extra cover. Athena and Helo knelt down on one side of the rift, Kara and Sam on the other. They worked silently, passing ammo back and forth while they loaded as many of the guns as they good. Kara tucked a combat knife and its leather sheath into her boot, hoping if it came to that they were dealing with the humanoid variety. They stayed silent even after everything was loaded, crouched down behind cover. Finally they heard what they'd all been waiting for.

The sound of an approaching ship.

Across the gap Kara saw Helo hold Athena, their faces pressed together for a moment. She looked behind her, at Sam, and he gazed back at her evenly. She wondered briefly if they would have been able to fix things, if they ever could have gotten back what they'd had when they'd first been married. But she couldn't dwell on it, there just wasn't time. She nodded at him, acknowledging everything that was unsaid between them. He nodded back, and Kara was glad to have him fighting alongside her.

They'd met fighting the Cylons, and they'd die fighting the Cylons. Seemed fitting.

The sounds from outside intensified and Kara peeked out. The terrain was flat and dusty for about a hundred yards before steep cliffs cut up imposingly. Dust swirled at the top and Kara eyed them sharply, muscles tense as she pulled her second pistol free. Sam shifted beside her to get a better look, and from the corner of her eye she saw Helo and Athena do the same.

They watched, and waited. And when the ship finally crested the cliff tops Kara's brow furrowed in confusion.

It didn't look like a Cylon ship. She'd never seen anything like it before.

**********


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

The four crouched soldiers watched wearily as the strange ship landed near the cliffs. Helo looked over at her.

"What is that?"

"How the frak would I know? You're the one married to a Cylon." She switched her gaze to Athena. "Did you ever see anything like that with your people?" Athena shook her head silently. Her eyes narrowed and she nodded her head towards the ship, shifting everyone's attention back outside as a large hatch at the front began to lower.

Kara pressed further into her hiding spot, making sure nothing was visible. There was movement in the dark interior, and soon several figures emerged.

Several human looking figures.

Everyone on the Demetrius looked around at each other, confused.

"Are they the missing Cylons maybe, the ones no one knows what they look like?" Helo looked at Athena when he asked, but the question was to everyone.

"I don't think so," Sam said with certainty. Kara looked back at him.

"Why not?" For a moment she thought Sam looked like he regretted speaking, then his gaze refocused behind her.

"Because there are more than five."

Kara looked back, and sure enough more people had drifted out. They gathered at the bottom of the ramp. Though they were too far away for Kara to hear them, she could see they were speaking amongst themselves. There were five men in total, and two women. Kara studied the way they stood, the way some kept hands close to weapons holsters at their hips. She kept her voice down when she spoke to the others.

"At least three of them are fighters; the woman with dark skin, the man with the brown coat, and the big guy with short hair. They know how to assess a scene and they'll use those weapons they have. The rest, I don't know." Helo nodded.

"What's our play?" he asked. Kara sighed and said nothing. She didn't frakking know what to do. If they revealed themselves but didn't shoot, and the others were hostile, they would lose the element of surprise, pretty much the only thing they had going for them. If they shot first and others didn't mean them any harm it would be a waste of ammo. She closed her eyes and tried to think, but Sam nudged her shoulder lightly.

"Kara, you said you could find Earth. Maybe you did. What if this _is_ Earth?" Kara starred at him, wondering if she could let herself hope. Glancing out again, she studied the terrain. It didn't look anything like what she'd seen in the Tomb of Athena, but then the entire planet couldn't look the same. Her eye was caught as the other group began moving away from their ship, towards the Demetrius. She motioned for the others to be quiet. As they got closer she could start to make out what they were saying.

"…wonder what happened to her is all," the smaller of the two women spoke. "I mean, look at 'er. Somethin' ripped 'er up good. This ain't all from crashin', this is why she crashed."

"You can poke around all you want, just not before we make sure it's safe. I got a bad feelin' 'bout this ship. Somethin' ain't right."

"O' course somethin' ain't right. I been sayin' that since it showed up in the blue, outta nothin'."

"Jayne, you're objections have been noted, repeatedly. I ain't to keen to keep listening to you jabber on about it. I made my decision, we're here, and we're goin' to do what needs to be done, _dong ma_?"

They were very close now. She wasn't sure where they were headed. If there were other holes in the hull for them to enter they could pass her hidden group without knowing they were there. But if the hole they'd been using to spy on them was the only one they were going to be found very soon. She had to make a choice.

"Cover me." she whispered to Sam.

"Always," he shot back. Taking one last deep breath to steady her hands she stood suddenly, stepping fully into view, both guns trained on the group of strangers. Behind her she heard Sam move as well, and Helo and Athena shortly after him. The other group froze, shock registering on their faces. The big man, the one they'd called Jayne, reached for his gun.

"Don't," Kara said icily, training both her weapons on him. His hand froze, his face twisting in anger and annoyance.

"Jayne," the man with the brown coat spoke, not taking his eyes off Kara. "Do what the lady says." His hands were raised slightly, open palms facing outward, a sign of surrender. "We ain't here to cause you any harm. We only aim to help. My name's Malcolm Reynolds, most folk call me Mal. That's my ship, Serenity. Saw your crash, figured y'all might be in need of some assistance."

"Are you part of the Thirteenth Colony?" Mal's eyebrows raised high at her question, wrinkling his forehead. "Is this Earth?"

"Earth? Uh…as in Earth-That-Was Earth?" Kara had a bad feeling as he continued incredulously. "Ma'am, I think you may have hit your head. We have a doctor with us, if you'd like to-" he'd started to lower his hands and move towards her as he spoke, but stopped and trailed off when she shifted her position, pointing her guns at him instead of Jayne.

"Don't patronize me. Answer the frakking question."

"This ain't Earth. Nobody's been to Earth, not for a long time. It was abandoned hundreds of years ago." Mal was clearly getting tired of having a gun pointed in his face, and his tone was less congenial then it had been before.

Kara's head reeled, and her hands trembled slightly. She felt like she'd been punched in the gut. Earth was gone. The only hope, the only thing that had kept the Fleet going for three years, was gone.

"Where is this?" she asked weakly, unable to muster the energy to be menacing anymore.

"Malire. It's one of the rim planets." His response didn't help at all. His words didn't make any sense to her. She'd known with every fiber of her being that she could get them to Earth. Her feeling, the prophecies in Pythia about the dying leader, none of it made any sense if Earth was gone. Her entire world felt like it was coming apart.

"Who are you people? Where exactly are you from?" It was the dark skinned woman who spoke now. The words themselves were short and clipped, but her tone was gentle. She was calm, her face blank, an expression Kara had seen many times on Athena. Kara paused, considering, but finally answered.

"I'm Captain Kara Thrace, pilot in the Colonial Fleet, stationed on the Battlestar Galactica." She didn't turn to look at her crew, but indicated each with a nod of her head. "Captain Karl Agathon, Lieutenant Sharon Agathon, and Ensign Samuel Anders. We have no home, not anymore." Kara saw no reason not to tell them who they were, but she didn't tell them about the civilian fleet. Not yet anyway.

She saw many glances exchanged by the group across from her. Mal and the dark skinned woman shared a particularly long look, and Kara knew without being told she was his second in command. Whatever passed between them seemed to satisfy Mal.

"I get the feeling we all have stories need to be told, and that's going to require a much longer talk. That's a conversation I'd like to have without guns involved. You agree to lower your weapons, we'll give you whatever help we can. If that's not acceptable to you, we'll go on our merry way. But I do feel I should warn you, Malire isn't a particularly friendly planet. The natives won't be as sympathetic as we are."

Kara considered him carefully as two instincts warred inside her. She was a soldier, and she had the advantage. Giving up that advantage went against everything she'd been taught. But she had a feeling about Mal. A feeling that he meant exactly what he said. The same feeling she'd had when she'd been pointing a gun at Sam on Caprica.

Slowly she lowered her guns and holstered them though she left the holsters unsnapped. Sam did the same, and Helo followed suit. She turned to the one member of the group whose guns stayed where they were.

"Athena." She said it quietly, gently, understanding the reluctance. Athena met her eyes and finally lowered her weapons as well. Kara looked back at Mal, waiting for him to make the next move.

"Thank you," he said simply. He motioned to his people as he made introductions. "This is Zoe, Jayne, Kaylee, Wash, Simon, and Shepherd Book."

"You said you had a doctor with you?" Helo's question was the first time anyone but Kara had spoken from her group. The young looking man Mal had said was Simon pushed forward.

"Yes, I'm the doctor. We have a fully stocked infirmary on the ship, or if you or Captain Reynolds prefer I can bring some supplies out here."

"We have another man," Kara spoke up. "In the CIC. Severe compound fracture, left leg. We'll need to move him to treat him, and it's not going to be easy. The ship's a frakking mess."

"How much of a mess?" Mal asked, walking towards her. Kara was still uneasy enough that she had to suppress the urge to reach for her guns, but she managed, and he stopped in front of them, waiting for an answer.

"Enough that we're going to have a hell of a time getting a stretcher out."

"I got tools," the young woman named Kaylee spoke up. "We should be able to clear enough of a path to get in an' out."

"Get what you think you need, and Simon, you do so as well." Kaylee and Simon rushed back towards Serenity at Mal's order, Wash joining them, saying he would help Simon carry the stretcher. Mal came even closer, and Zoe joined them in the small huddle.

"Kaylee tells me there's damage on your ship not from the crash. Should we be expectin' company?" Kara almost gave a tiny smile, finding herself appreciating Mal's forethought. She looked at Helo and Athena, indicating she wanted them to answer.

"It's not likely," Athena said, taking the hint. "Cylons can't track through a jump without having a locator beacon on board the ship. All the ships were cleared after we left New Caprica. We thought you were them, that they'd found a way, but it didn't really make sense."

"A jump?" It was the older man, Shepherd Book they'd called him, who had been drifting closer and now stood alongside the rest of them.

"You don't have FTL technology here?" Helo seemed disbelieving. At their blank stares he continued. "Faster Than Light tech. It allows us to travel from place to place very quickly. To the naked eye it appears as if we simply disappear and reappear in a new spot."

"That would explain where your ship came from," Zoe said, casting an eye towards Jayne, who just scowled even more, something Kara wouldn't have thought possible.

"And what exactly are Cylons," Book asked. Kara had a feeling he was a very curious individual.

"I think that one's best left for the long conversation," Helo said simply. Kara nodded her agreement. She snuck a peak at Athena, wondering whether she would want them to know she was one. Kara didn't think she'd have time to ask in private, so she hoped Athena would give her some hint when they got there.

They all glanced over as the other's returned, each carrying various packs, with the stretcher held between Wash and Simon.

"Inara's prepping extra supplies in the infirmary, for when we get him back," Simon filled Mal in.

"Inara?" Kara asked.

"We have two more passengers who stayed on the ship. Inara is watching River, Simon's sister. River was…upset by the crash." The way he hesitated before calling the girl's reaction 'upset' did nothing to help ease Kara's weariness. There was something he wasn't saying. But then, Kara mused, there was a lot she wasn't saying either. For now they all had to take it on faith that their various secrets wouldn't get anyone killed in the immediate future.

**********

Sam led the group back towards the CIC, Helo close at his back. Zoe kept pace with them, while Athena trailed behind with the others from Serenity. Kara hung towards the back, alongside Mal. They were both keeping an eye on their people, watching out for signs of betrayal. Sam trusted Kara's eyes and instincts so he had no trouble turning his back on the other members of Mal's crew.

It took longer to get back up than it had to go down. There were more people to help along, and without adrenaline pushing them to go as fast as possible they were more cautious. The stairway, in particular, was in bad shape, something none of them had realized when they were running towards the confrontation. It still supported their weight, but it tipped sharply to the right side, forcing them to hang onto the railing to get up. Carrying the stretcher back down was going to be tricky.

Now and then Kaylee would mutter to herself quietly, but none of them stopped to work on clearing anything yet. They needed to get Simon to Gaeta as soon as possible. Finally they managed to weave their way back to the CIC. Sam pulled the hatch open and entered, making sure he was the first thing Gaeta would see.

He was passed out, the morpha shots he'd been clutching scattered near his open hand. The pool of blood underneath him had almost doubled in size. There was only so much blood stoppers could do when the bone was still ripping a hole in his leg, preventing the wound from sealing completely.

Sam felt a push and raised an eyebrow when Kara rushed past him, but said nothing. It probably wasn't evident to someone who didn't know her, but Sam did and he could see the guilt in her eyes as clearly as if she were weeping. She and Simon knelt next to him while everyone else piled into the room. Kaylee's eyes were huge as she walked around, looking at everything with great interest. Wash wasn't much better.

"_Tsai boo shr_!" he whispered excitedly, running his hands over the FTL consol as it flickered weakly. "This is incredible." His hand bumped something and the display began to beep. He jumped back in, hands raised as everyone turned to look at him. "I didn't do it." Athena was by the door, standing guard next to Jayne. They'd been glaring at each other wordlessly, but she broke away, rolling her eyes as she walked to the FTL board. She hit a few keys and the beeping stopped.

"It's a damage warning. The board won't do anything with the drives themselves as trashed as they are."

Gaeta's scream cut everyone off as he woke, and Sam winced in sympathy as he looked back. Simon, Kara, and Zoe all helped roll Gaeta slightly so Book could slip the stretcher underneath him. He whimpered quietly when they rolled him back. Simon had wrapped something around the wound and the bleeding seemed to have slowed if not stopped.

"Take it easy Felix," Simon said soothingly as he injected something that made Gaeta go limp again. Kara must have told him his name while Sam had been watching Wash fool around, and he was annoyed that he hadn't been paying attention. He'd gotten on the Demetrius in the first place to watch out for Kara, he wasn't going to stop now.

"OK," Simon said as he stood. "What I've given him _should_ knock him out completely, but we should be as careful as possible while moving him anyway. No sense in risking more pain that he's already in."

"You going to be able to fix him?" Kara asked quietly. Simon hesitated a bit before answering.

"If the bone sets cleanly, and if I can keep it from getting infected, he should be OK. But at this point I can't completely rule out the need for more drastic measures." He didn't say amputation, but the word hung in the air. "What kind of ship was this?" he asked, sniffing delicately. Sam had been on the ship so long he'd gotten used to the smell, but he noticed Simon wasn't the only one from Serenity wrinkling their nose.

"Sewage processing," Kara said, grinning just a tiny bit.

"Oh…well…we'll just double up on the antibiotics then." He motioned down to the stretcher. "Who's going to carry?"

"I will," Sam said, stepping forward.

"Me too," Helo volunteered.

"You need help?" Mal offered, but Helo shook his head.

"We take care of our own." Mal nodded, moving back to give them room. Sam crouched by Gaeta's head and waited for Helo to get into position. Carefully they lifted him, keeping the stretcher as level as possible.

They didn't talk much after that, except for Kaylee giving instructions whenever they had to clear the path. It went smoother than Sam had anticipated. While the corridors were a mess having so many hands meant they could pass Gaeta through some of the smaller openings. Twice Kaylee had to use a tool she'd brought, some kind of jack, to widen an opening enough so they wouldn't have to tip the stretcher to the side to get it through.

When they came to the stairway Sam, Helo, and Jayne spread out and braced themselves with their feet against the opposite railing. With Zoe and Athena handling it at the top, and Kara and Mal waiting at the bottom, they passed the stretcher between them. It tipped forward, digging the safety straps into Gaeta's body. He moaned but didn't wake.

After the stairs it was easier. When they finally reached the hull, stepping through the hole they'd hidden by earlier, Sam had to blink his eyes at the glare. Standing inside the ship looking out hadn't been all that bad. But walking out fully into the sun made Sam realize it had been a very long time since he'd walked in sunlight.

They crossed the flat ground between ships at a moderate pace. Not wanting to jar the stretcher they couldn't run, though Sam wished they could. He was anxious for Simon to set the leg and get the bleeding stopped for good. Walking up the ramp of Serenity into its cool interior, Sam felt a strange familiarity. The ship wasn't like anything in the Colonial fleet, but Sam was instantly totally at ease, like he'd done this a million times.

It was pretty damn unsettling.

Mal directed them through the large hold, through a hatch and down a small set of steps. Inside the infirmary Sam could see a beautiful woman with curly hair pacing slightly. She came towards them looking concerned when they entered, and Sam saw rows of gauze and needles and other surgical looking equipment lined up on the counter. She must be Inara.

"_Tzao gao_," she breathed, looking at Gaeta's ruined leg as they transferred him to the raised table in the middle of the room.

"What is that?" Kara asked. Sam wiped sweat off his forehead as he went to stand by her.

"What is what?" Inara looked confused.

"That strange language you guys keep using." Inara raised her eyebrows.

"You don't know Chinese? But…everyone knows Chinese. Even the most uneducated members of society know at least some." She looked at Mal, who gave a similar look to Wash, who just looked sheepish.

"Yeah, we might not have had time to share all the details when we were in here before." He shrugged affably. "Guess it's a good thing she's here for story time."

"I need someone to stay long enough to help me set the leg, and I need everyone else to get out," Simon said irritably, having to shove past Jayne to get something from a cupboard.

"I'll help set the leg, then come up and join you," Zoe volunteered. Kara seemed unwilling to move.

"I don't want to leave my man in here alone." Book stepped out of the doorway to stand in front of her.

"I'll stay with him, while you go explain what happened. If he wakes, I'll come and get you." Kara didn't look convinced, but Book smiled gently. "I give you my word as a Shepherd that no harm will come to him in your absence." For a moment there was silence, and then Kara laughed. It was a bitter, humorless laugh.

"The last preacher I knew took part in the genocide of the human race. So that probably wasn't as comforting as you meant it to be."

The room had gone very still and very quiet at the word genocide. Sam could see various expressions of shock, horror, and confusion on the faces of the Serenity crew. Kara sighed, her shoulders sagging.

"Let's just get this over with." She looked over at Mal. "You got someplace a crash survivor could sit? Maybe something to drink?"

"I think we can handle that."

**********


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Mal leaned against the wall as most of the others settled around the dining room table. Inara brought cups and water, and a rag so Sharon could wipe the blood off her forehead. The wound had already closed, or Simon would have insisted on her staying in the infirmary. Kaylee and Wash sat at the table as well, while Jayne mirrored Mal's pose on the opposite wall, arms crossed, hand not far away from his holster. Simon, Book, and Zoe were still tending to the injured man downstairs, and as far as Inara knew, River was napping in her shuttle.

No one said anything for several long minutes, until finally Mal cleared his throat pointedly.

"Talking through a problem usually goes best when someone, you know, talks." Kara met his eyes and though she smiled a little it didn't reach her eyes. Her eyes were dead, war weary, something he'd seen all too often during his own time in the military.

"I don't even know where to start."

"Why'd you call her Athena?" Kaylee offered. Kara looked over at her, brow furrowed.

"What?"

"Well, you introduced her as Lieutenant Sharon Agathon, but you called her Athena. I was just wonderin' why?"

"It's my callsign," Sharon said as Karl finished wiping the last of the blood off her face. "We're pilots, we all have callsigns. Athena, Helo," she nodded to Karl, who Mal assumed was her husband, going by the shared last name and the way she was practically on his lap he sat so close. "Longshot and Starbuck."

"Nifty," Kaylee said brightly. "I like 'em. Does it matter to you, what we call you?" Mal could tell Sharon was slightly amused and perplexed by Kaylee's bright and shiny attitude. Kaylee had that effect on a lot of people.

"I…guess not?" She made it a question and looked at the others. Helo and Sam shrugged. Kara didn't appear to be paying attention at all, her hands clasping the glass of water in front of her. She seemed to feel Mal's gaze and looked up at him.

"You figure out where to start yet?" he asked quietly.

"Yeah. It started with a scientist who just wanted to make life easier…"

The tale she told was bleak and depressing. A race of robots called Cylons had become self aware and started a war with their creators. After a truce was called, and years of peace passed, they returned without warning to destroy the twelve planets that the human society populated. The 50,000 or so survivors set off in a small fleet of ships, running from the Cylons, slowly dwindling in numbers. They found the Cylons looked human, were almost indistinguishable from humans; that dead Cylons could resurrect given the presence of the right technology. The humans had settled on a new planet after a time but had been trapped there and imprisoned by the Cylons for months before being liberated and resuming their trek across the 'verse. The crew in front of him had been on a scouting mission, looking for Earth, a planet of near mythological importance considered the only hope for the continuance of the human race. It was heartbreaking.

If any of it was true.

"So let me get this straight. What it boils down to is, killer robots are chasin' you?" he asked with a disbelieving chuckle. Kara glared angrily, her knuckles going white as she gripped the glass tightly. Mal's grin faded.

"This is frakking funny to you? You want me to list off the names of the pilots who have died trying to protect what's left of humanity? Would that _amuse_ you," she said with a sneer.

"He doesn't mean to poke fun," Kaylee cut in, shooting an unhappy look at Mal. "It's just…what you're say'n, it's kind of hard to believe."

"Not my problem," Kara shot back. Her eyes weren't dead anymore, they were pissed. "What happened to us, what we and everyone one else on those ships have been through, isn't a godsdamn story for you to believe or disbelieve. It's the frakking truth." She started to stand as she spoke, as if she was going to run or maybe hit someone, but Sam put a hand on her shoulder. It was a light touch but it was enough. She sunk back into the chair, the anger draining away and leaving nothing. She had an air of exhaustion about her that made Mal wonder how long it had been since she'd slept.

Zoe walked over to talk to Mal. He wasn't sure when she'd snuck in, but she seemed to have heard enough. She turned her back to the room and spoke quietly close to Mal's ear.

"It sounds crazy to me too, but I can't see any benefit gained by makin' up a story this ridiculous. If they were trying to scam us seems to me they'd come up with somethin' more believable."

"You think?"

"_I_ would." She stepped back. Mal trusted Zoe's judgment and instincts almost as much as his own. And is own were starting to tell him the same thing.

"She's not lying." Everyone looked up at the quiet voice. River glided into the room, her eyes focused on the Demetrius crew. No, Mal realized, just one of them. Kara. River stopped to the side her chair and Kara turned to look at her. "So much pain, and anger, and responsibility." She raised her eyes to Mal. "Don't poke fun," she said sternly, with more force than he'd seen from her before. Mal raised his eyebrows but said nothing. River turned her gaze back to Kara and crouched down so their eyes were level. Kara drew back from her, leaning towards Sam, but kept her seat. The two stared at each other as if there was no one else in the world. Finally River cocked her head to the side.

"You died." The words were spoken without any overt emotion, as if stating a fact plain as day. Mal sighed. He'd hoped she was feeling better since her earlier outburst, but it didn't seem she was. He'd have to speak to the doctor about it. The occasional delusion they could handle, but she'd been loopy for near an entire day, and that was dangerous. He'd thought her new medications were working, but clearly that wasn't the case.

He stepped towards the table, intent on apologizing for River and trying to shoo her away before they could get too curious, but he froze when he saw Kara's face. He'd expected to see confusion, maybe annoyance. What he hadn't expected to see was fear. Not just fear, terror. The other three from her crew had frozen too. They all stared at River as if she'd just grown an extra head. The young girl just kept looking at Kara, a smile lifting one corner of her mouth. When she reached out a hand as if to touch her, Kara slapped the hand away and stood so fast her chair flew backwards. Sam stood too, resting his hands on her arms lightly, like he was ready to pull her behind him at a moment's notice. River flinched back, cringing as if Kara had smacked her across the face.

"Stop, it's OK, she won't hurt you," Kaylee rushed to try to diffuse the situation. She walked quickly around the table, gently taking River's hand to lead her away. "She just…she's…" Kaylee looked at Mal, not sure what to say.

"River's been through some trauma. She gets confused." Mal motioned for Kaylee to lead her out. "It's worse when she's emotional, and as I said earlier, the crash upset her some. She meant no harm though."

"Right," Kara said it quietly as she sat back down. She kept her eyes on River as Kaylee led her back towards the passenger quarters.

"No," River said suddenly, digging in her heels and pulling back sharply on her hand.

"River, go with Kaylee, please," Mal asked her, not wanting to have to deal with this on top of everything else. Nothing was ever easy.

"No," she said again, pulling completely free of Kaylee. She walked up to Mal and stared at him intently, like she could see inside of him. It made Mal's hair stand on end. "They're telling the truth. You have to help them, or everyone they know will die. They'll die in space, alone, without hope. You have to help them." Seconds before she'd been talking crazy, and now she seemed the most lucid Mal had ever seen her. Her tone was calm and even, her gaze still intense and demanding. He knew she didn't always make sense. She often spoke in riddles or just spouted nonsense. But she also had a gift, a gift he'd seen proven true. Looking into that intense gaze Mal knew he wasn't seeing the girl, he was seeing the Reader. He gave her a slow nod.

"OK, _mei mei_. OK," he told her quietly. She took a step back and Mal let out a breath, only to be brought up short again when her finger appeared out of nowhere to wag in his face.

"I'm watching you," she said. But the menace had gone from her gaze and she looked almost playful now. She walked over to the cushioned seating in the corner and sat with her arms crossed over her chest, her legs folded neatly beneath her. Her gaze wandered all over the room, focusing on everything and nothing. She was just River again.

Zoe caught his eye and shrugged. Rolling his eyes Mal turned back to the table. He wanted to change the subject. Between the strange technologies he'd seen on their ship, the circumstances surrounding the crash, his own instincts, and now River's proclamation he was pretty sure they weren't lying. Still, he wasn't planning on giving them too many details regarding River and Simon's fugitive status, or the exact nature of the jobs Serenity took on. At least not yet.

"Well, uh, where were we?"

**********

"What happened to Earth?" Sam barely heard Helo's question, his attention was focused on the girl in the corner. She couldn't have known about Kara. She just couldn't. It made no sense. People didn't just _know_ stuff like that. But she did. River, they'd called her. River somehow knew things she shouldn't, and that scared him. It wasn't just for Kara's sake that he was scared, though that was a big part of it. If she knew about Kara's death just by looking in her eyes what would she learn by looking in his? Or Athena's? They hadn't told the others she was a Cylon.

It didn't escape his attention that no one was questioning their story any more. They'd all been staring like Kara and the rest of them were completely insane, but the minute River had walked through that hatch and told them it was true it had changed. There was still mistrust, but it wasn't the same. It was a weariness born of a hard life, something they wore as a second skin. But not trusting them and not believing them were different things. Whatever Mal said out loud, he clearly gave credence to at least some of what she said.

Sam watched Kara's face as Mal told them of the exodus of Earth. It had happened so long ago that the specifics were already lost. All that was known was that Earth hadn't been able to support their race any longer and they'd left it to colonize new planets. They had technology that allowed them to make desolate planets habitable, and though it took decades to accomplish they'd developed a massive network of planets and moons stretched over a vast area of space.

There had been war, though. An entity called the Alliance had sought control of every inhabited planet. Those who wanted independence had fought bitterly, including Mal and Zoe. But in the end it hadn't been enough, and now the Alliance controlled everything, to the betterment of some and the ruin of others.

Sam had trouble wrapping his mind around it all. Earth was gone, but there were many other planets that would serve as a suitable home just as well. At the same time, the writings of Pythia had said they would be led to Earth, not the planets that Earth's civilization had moved on to. He'd never given a lot of thought to the prophecies in the past. They gave hope to the fleet and kept them going, but had little or no significance to him. And yet Leoben had talked of prophecy, in a way. He had said that Kara had a destiny, a special destiny that she must fulfill. She'd died and come back, and that made Leoben's ramblings sound all the more truthful. If Leoben's prophecy had come true, then perhaps other prophecies could as well. Maybe Pythia's writings would come true.

Except they couldn't because Earth was no longer fit to be called home by anyone.

Sam rubbed at the headache pounding at his temples. He was going in circles, trying to find the logic in a situation that had none. It was an endless cycle, questions that had no answers, at least none he had any way of finding.

He felt the brush of Kara's fingers on his, just a glancing touch gone as soon as it was there. He looked over and she met his gaze. He could see the same confusion there. She didn't know what any of this meant either, and it was killing her. He wished he could take that look from her eyes, but he knew better than to try to hold her or comfort her. That wasn't what she needed. What she really needed were answers, but baring that she needed action. She needed to not sit around doing nothing while the time left before they were to rendezvous with the fleet trickled away.

"So what now?" she spoke up, looking at Mal directly for the first time since River had made her entrance. "What happens next?" Mal didn't say anything for a long time, just crossed his arms and stared at the floor. Finally, he looked back up and pushed away from the wall.

"I'd like to talk to Zoe alone for a few minutes." He walked out before anyone could agree or protest. He was the Captain, he didn't need approval. Sam thought there were many things about Mal that reminded him of Kara. It was surprisingly comforting, considering how much of a pain in the ass Kara could be.

Zoe followed Mal out of the room and its remaining occupants looked around awkwardly at each other.

"I like your tattoos," Inara said at length. Sam had been drifting off in thought again and didn't realize right away that she was talking to him. Well, him and Kara both. She motioned to the wing on his arm and smiled. "It's beautiful, on both of you." She had a very charming manner, and her eyes seemed sincerely kind.

"Thanks," Sam said shortly, not really wanting to be the center of attention, not while River was still in the room. His gruffness didn't appear to faze Inara at all.

"Do they have a special meaning?"

"They're just tattoos. Didn't have any rings when we got married so we got these instead." Kara was staring at her hands when she answered, not paying that much attention the other woman. Sam could tell the topic was making her uncomfortable.

"Oh. Well, they're lovely." Inara seemed to sense her unease as well and let the subject drop. The silence returned and Sam squirmed in his seat, unable to find a comfortable position. The bruises from the crash were starting to make themselves known. He'd rather stand than sit with his aching back against hard wood, but he didn't think Jayne would take too kindly to that. The large man had been silent the entire time, too busy sending death glares at everyone to contribute to the conversation. Everyone else seemed eager to listen, to help, but not Jayne. He looked fit to chew glass.

"Are you married too?" Wash broke the silence, his question directed at Helo and Athena.

"Yes," she said, sending a loving look Helo's way. Wash smiled.

"It's always nice to not be the only married man on the ship."

"You're married?" Helo asked.

"Yup. To Zoe."

"Really? You and…oh, OK." Athena sounded embarrassed by her tone, but Sam couldn't blame her. The slightly goofy looking man in the brightly colored shirt hardly seemed a natural match for the cool and controlled Zoe. But Wash just smiled even bigger.

"Don't worry, most people have that reaction. I guess you just love who you love, even when other people don't understand it." Sam peeked at Kara out of the corner of his eye. He knew what Wash meant. Any further discussion of marital bliss was cut off by the return of Mal and Zoe.

"OK, here's how it's going to be. Whatever we end up doin' in the long run, you people stand out right now and that ain't good for nobody. You'll need clothes and weapons that don't mark you as bein' different. That's goin' to require money. Money we don't have to just give you. So, what we need to do is salvage your ship. There's things in there we'll be able to sell to people who won't much care where they came from. And there's a fair amount of scrap metal I'm sure Kaylee can pull in. Not to mention you probably have personal items that you'd like to keep and take with you. We need to do this fast. Your crash will have attracted attention and we don't want to be here when questions start gettin' asked. We're far enough from town that it'll take some time, but people will eventually start showin' up. There's a lot more we'll have to figure out, but this happens first. We can talk more on the way to Persephone. For my crew, this is not negotiable. I'm Captain, and these are my orders," he looked at Jayne hard. "As for the rest of you, you may not be my crew but if you're stayin' on my ship you will follow orders just the same. You have the choice of stayin' and takin' your chances with the locals, but I really don't recommend it. In or out, make up your mind and make it fast."

Sam, Helo, and Athena all looked to Kara. She was still their Captain, still in charge, and they would follow her lead. She looked Mal in the eyes, sized him up as she considered. At last she stood and walked to him. She held out a hand.

"I guess we have an agreement, Captain." They shook on it.

**********


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

She was in her quarters when he found her, staring at the mural she'd painted. She couldn't remember how long she'd been standing there. Everything she wanted to keep was packed up already. It wasn't much, another set of clothes and the star charts. There were some other things they would try to sell, but she didn't care enough about any of it to even note what it was. A lot of it was trashed by the crash anyway.

"You ready to take this batch over?" Sam asked. She didn't turn, didn't acknowledge him at all, just kept staring at that damn painting. She'd been obsessed so completely with her vision, her mission, her frakking 'destiny', that she'd let it control her. Now she couldn't remember why. It was almost like a dream, that feeling she'd had. She could remember enough about it to know it happened, but she couldn't really touch it, couldn't connect to it.

"Kara?" Sam asked again. She finally turned to him.

"Yeah," she sighed. "Yeah, I'll take it over." She bent to pick up the bag and box she had packed but Sam stopped her.

"I'll do it. Athena's down with the raptor, says she has an idea. You go talk to her." He picked up all her stuff easily, but paused and frowned when he noticed her bed. "You're not taking your paints?" Kara looked down at them too. She'd been painting for as long as she could remember. Big, little, complicated, or simple. Didn't matter, she'd always been painting _something_. She did it to relax and lose herself in something easy, to feel peaceful if only momentarily. It didn't feel peaceful anymore. It was like the paint was tainted.

"No, I don't want it." She didn't want to look at him, didn't want to know what he was thinking. Trying to figure out what she was thinking was hard enough.

"We should still take them, try and sell—"

"No!" she said more forcefully than she'd intended. Her voice gentled a little when she continued. "I just…I don't want them anywhere near me, OK? I just want them gone." She finally made herself look at Sam. He studied her carefully before nodding.

"OK. Whatever you need." He motioned towards the door with his head. "You should go. Don't want to keep Athena waiting." She cast her eye around the room one last time then headed out.

By now they'd found the quickest ways through the ship and it didn't take her long to make it down to the hold. Athena was on her back, half hidden under the raptor. Helo crouched down next to her, handing her tools as he was asked, and Mal leaned against one of the wings.

"I hear something about an idea?" Kara called out by way of greeting. She managed a smirk when Helo looked up at her. "It's not your idea is it? 'Cause I was hoping for something that might actually be useful." Helo gave her a small smile and she breathed a small sigh of relief. She could do this, she could give her crew a hard time and joke around and pretend like she wasn't about to lose her mind completely. She just had to keep focused.

Athena pulled herself out from under the raptor, handing off a box with lots of wires running out of it to Helo as she sat up. She had grease smeared on her face and hands, but looked more pleased than she had in a long time.

"They have shuttles, on Serenity, two of them." She looked excited as she said it, and Mal confirmed it with a nod as he pushed away from the wing.

"It would cause a certain amount of inconvenience, but I might be willing to lend one to you if this works." Kara looked back and forth between them before shrugging.

"If what works?" Athena and Helo exchanged a look.

"We think we can get us back to Galactica. See, the raptor has too much structural damage to make it, but most of the systems are either intact or repairable. If we can strip out the FTL drive, and the nav. and com systems, and retrofit them to one of their shuttles, we might be able to jump back to the rendezvous point." Kara wasn't an expert in all things mechanical, but she knew the chances of technology from two different worlds being compatible were pretty low. There was a lot of luck needed for the plan to actually work, but Helo looked elated and she remembered they had a child waiting for them back on Galactica.

"That sounds like a plan," she agreed. Looking over at Mal, she could see he had some of the same doubts she did, but it was the only plan they had for now, and she wasn't going to dash Helo and Athena's hopes to get home to Hera unless she had something better. She shifted back and forth on her feet for a moment. "You guys need any help or something?" Athena gave her a wry smile.

"I think we're good here, Captain." She knew full well Kara didn't know enough about the internal workings of a raptor to help strip it while keeping all the equipment intact. Kara shrugged before turning back to Mal.

"Where are we at?"

"Why don't we head back to Serenity, check in with everyone. Leave these two to do their work in peace." Deciding it was better than wandering back to her quarters and obsessing over the mural she agreed. They both nodded goodbye to Helo and Athena and left them to finish the task they'd set for themselves.

**********

"_Ching-wah tsao duh liou mahng_," Jayne muttered under his breath. He tossed a few more cups and dishes in the tub on the floor then pulled up the bottom of his shirt to wipe sweat off his forehead. How the hell the ship had managed to get this hot sittin' out in the sun for only an hour he didn't know.

"Would you quit your whinin'?" Zoe grumbled, walking across the mess hall to close the lid on the now full tub. "I've met children who complained less."

"All I'm sayin' is this whole idea is a disaster waitin' to happen. You ask me—"

"Nobody asked you, Jayne. Nobody would _ever_ ask you."

"You ask me," he continued as if she hadn't spoken, "the Captain's gone a bit _fong luh_. First he takes on a couple a fugies, now he's taking in a bunch of crazy refugees? Ship's turnin' into a gorram halfway house." Zoe shook her head in exasperation as Jayne picked up the tub.

"You can always get off in Persephone." Jayne snorted as they headed out and down the narrow hallway.

"Hell no. I ain't given up payin' work. Can't a guy speak his peace 'round here?" Zoe stopped at a flight of steps and turned to him.

"Of course you can." She snatched the tub and turned her back to him as she started down the stairs. "Just do it somewhere else." Jayne made a rude gesture at her back before following her down.

Noticing where they were, he slowed his pace until she'd disappeared from view. He started casually checking behind hatches as he came upon them, listening for sounds of approaching footsteps. There was some kind of locker room around here; they'd mentioned it and specifically said to leave it alone. They didn't want to pilfer from the dead crew. "I'm not going to steal from my dead friends so I can buy new clothes," Kara had said. Lockers would contain personal items, small items nobody would miss if he should happen to sneak a few into his pockets. He could get alone for a little while on Persephone, long enough to sell or trade a little for himself. Nobody would ever know the difference.

He smiled to himself when he pushed open the first hatch down the next hallway and found what he was looking for. The locker rows had tipped over, ripped from their wall mounts by the force of an explosion or the crash. Rolling his shoulders to loosen them up, he gauged the weight and figured he shouldn't have to much trouble getting them upright again. A bench and some other debris had collected on the floor in front of the downed lockers and he started to move it out of the way.

He stopped when he heard a distinctive click, and looked down to see the barrel of a gun staring up at him.

**********

Mal and Kara were almost to the crack in the hull they'd been using as a doorway when they heard the shouts. In unison they ran towards the nearby stairs. They could hear individual voices once they reached the top. Mal recognized Jayne's voice immediately.

"I told you I ain't goin' to hurt you!"

"Do I look completely frakking stupid to you?" It was a woman's voice, one he didn't recognize at all. Judging from Kara's swearing, she did. They both ran towards the sounds.

"You didn't come with us on the ship, which means you're one of them. One of the Cylons who attacked us."

"I ain't a gorram Cylon. MAL!" he shouted again. Mal and Kara hit the door at the end of the hallway at the same time, and Mal let her squeeze through first.

"Jean! Jean, stop, put the gun down. He's with us. He's with us." Kara shoved Jayne out of the way, her arms held out in front of her, nonthreatening. As she slowly kneeled down Mal could see a redheaded woman pinned on her side beneath a row of lockers, one arm freed and holding a gun in her shaky hand, the other trapped beneath her. He saw the moment when she saw Kara, really saw her and processed that she was there. Her body sagged and she lowered the gun to the floor.

"Hey, Kara," she wheezed out then gasped in pain. She curled forward and tried to clutch at her stomach, but the heavy metal on top of her prevented it. Kara gently cradled the other woman's head.

"OK, it's OK." She looked up at Mal. "We gotta get this off her, now."

"Jayne," he motioned the other man towards the lockers. They each took position on either side of the two women and lifted. There were multiple sections lying on the ground, but it was only the first they needed to move to free Jean. Mal grunted with the effort; it was heavier than it looked. Jayne ended up taking most of the weight, pushing it all the way back towards the wall. Kara gently eased Jean onto her back as they both kneeled down too.

"He saved me," she whispered, her voice cracking.

"What?" Kara asked absentmindedly as she checked her over.

"He saved me. Pushed me out of the way." Mal, Jayne, and Kara turned as one and looked at the lockers that remained on the floor. Mal let his head fall when he saw the hand that barely stuck out. Saying nothing Kara stood and walked over, getting back down on the floor again so she could check for a pulse. Finding none she got down on her stomach and reach under, her head turned away as she searched blindly. At last she found what she was looking for and pulled out, sitting up with a pair of tags dangling from her hand. She looked at them for a moment before shaking her head.

"Hotdog. Poor bastard." Her face darkened, anger and sadness warring in her eyes, but she pushed it away as she stood again. "Let's get her to the Doctor."

"The stretcher—"

"Is too far away," she cut him off. "She's been here for over an hour already, we need to move her now." She looked at Jayne. "Can you carry her?" He shrugged.

"Ain't like she weighs much. Can't promise carryin' her like that won't hurt her though."

"Just do it. It's not that bad anyway. Really, just a little sore." Jean tried to push up as she spoke, but winced at the added strain on her mid section.

"Take it easy," Kara snapped. "That's an order." Jean managed a small grin.

"I'm not…a soldier," she gasped. At Kara's urging Jayne leaned down and slid his hands under her. He was surprisingly gentle about it. Jayne's soft spots weren't something he showed often, but Mal knew how to recognize them. He paused when he'd lifted her, giving her time to settle, and waited there while she wrapped an arm around him to steady herself. She nodded at him to go ahead. They were close to the exit, so the trip was mercifully free of obstacles.

There was a bit of a traffic jam as they ran into Zoe coming back in, and Karl and Sharon leaving, their arms laden with equipment. Karl's eyes widened when she saw who was in Jayne's arms.

"Barolay? My gods, is she OK?"

"We need to get her to Simon," was all Kara would say. It was all any of them knew for sure. They would have to wait for the Doc to tell them more.

"Sam is going to be so happy to see you're alive," Sharon gave her an easy smile, which Jean returned.

"He ain't on Serenity anymore," Zoe cut in. "Took Kaylee to look at your engine room." Kara let out an annoyed breath.

"OK, I'm going to go get him. Helo, would you go with her? Make sure she's looked after?"

"Sure," he agreed amiably. "Not a problem."

"There's more from the raptor to take over," Sharon spoke to Mal and Zoe now. "We were going to make multiple trips, but with you here now we can do it all at once." Mal looked over at Zoe and nodded.

"Sounds good. We need to be wrappin' this up and gettin' on our way anyway."

Jayne took off, Jean still alert and clutching his shoulder. Sharon quickly passed off what she was carrying to Karl, and he followed Jayne towards the Serenity. Sharon looked back at them.

"Ready?" Mal sent one last look to Kara.

"Are you sure you wouldn't rather go with them? I can go find Sam."

"No. He might not believe it from you. We're not the most trusting, if you hadn't noticed." She gave him a wry smile. "Besides, be nice to give him good news for a change. Feel like I need to make it up to him…" she trailed off and looked at the floor. Mal raised his eyebrows at Sharon but she just shook her head.

"Let's go," she said, leading them back into the ship, Zoe close behind. Deciding it wasn't worth making a fuss over he let it go and followed. He heard Kara go off in the opposite direction, hurrying more than they were.

As they crossed back into the main part of the ship, a shadow caught Mal's eye. He stopped and spun around, hand going to the holster at his side as he slowly scanned the room. There were lots of shadows inside the ship, only a few of the lights were working anymore, but none of them moved. He waited, holding his breath, listening.

"Problem?" Zoe called out from behind him. He looked back and saw she had a hand on her weapon as well. He looked once more towards where he thought he'd seen the movement, but everything was still as a graveyard.

"No," he said finally, turning back around and walking towards the other two. "Just my eyes playin' tricks on me." She nodded and they resumed their trek to the hold.

Mal kept his hand close to his gun.

**********

Wash had moved Serenity closer to the Demetrius to make transferring cargo faster. Jayne was glad since he didn't want to have to carry the injured woman very long. Not that she was heavy or anything, but he could tell she was in pain. She was doing a good job of not showing it, but he could feel how her body tensed up with almost every step. He hurried up the ramp into the hold, Helo right behind him. The other man started setting down the crap he'd hauled in from the other ship while Jayne made a beeline for the infirmary, ignoring Wash's question when he passed him coming down the stairs.

Simon was bending over the still unconscious Gaeta, while Book read quietly in the chair by the table.

"Got another survivor for you, Doc." Simon looked up from his work, surprised. Jean had squeezed her eyes shut against the pain, but opened them now to look around.

"Felix," she said with a tiny smile, seemingly happy to see another friend who had made it.

"What happened?" Simon was all business as he motioned Jayne to set her down on the counter. He did, and stood back so Simon could work over her.

"Found her half trapped under somethin' heavy. Seems to be favorin' her middle, like maybe—"

"I can speak for myself, thanks," she said irritably, sending him what probably would have passed for a glare if she hadn't been wincing in pain at the same time. She looked up at Simon before continuing. "Biggest pain is on the left side, about halfway between my breast and my waist." Simon lifted her shirt to expose her stomach. She was a mess of bruises. She cried out when Simon pushed on her side, near where she said she hurt.

"Sorry," he said as he moved his hands to prod lower on her stomach.

"Don't be, just do what you need to do" she managed. She took a few steadying breaths before continuing. "I lost consciousness for awhile, not sure how long. I've been running through things in my head since and don't seem to have any memory recall problems, but my head feels like someone's hitting it with a hammer."

"You seem pretty calm, that's good," Simon reassured her as he pulled a small light out of his pocket. He shone it into her eyes, checking her pupil's reactions.

"Not the first time I've been hurt." The assertion didn't surprise Jayne. She reacted like a fighter, though she'd said she wasn't a soldier. He knew she'd tucked her gun in her pocket when he picked her up, but he didn't say anything. Couldn't blame her for wanting it nearby, he'd do the same thing.

"I think you have a concussion. There's also a significant risk of internal bleeding, and I'm concerned about your ribs. I'll need to do some scans before I know how bad it is."

"Go ahead. But, uh, you got anything to take the edge off?" She grimaced as she shifted. Simon smiled.

"Of course. Shepherd, behind you on the counter, the last vial on the left." Book grabbed the one Simon motioned to and tossed it to him. Simon fit it into a pressure syringe and injected into Jean just as Helo came through the door.

"I told Wash Mal wanted to get going soon. He went up to start getting things ready for takeoff." He walked to the counter and gently tapped Jean on the leg. "How's our girl?" Jean snorted as Simon pulled a blanket over her to keep her warm while he gathered what he needed.

"Your wife hears you calling me your girl and you're going to be in worse shape than I am." Helo grinned and looked up at Jayne.

"Thanks, for helping her. How'd you find her anyway?" Jayne hesitated for just a second, knowing he wasn't supposed to have been where he'd been.

"Heard a noise, went to check it out, got lucky. Glad I could help." Helo gave him a friendly slap on the shoulder, and Jayne almost felt a tiny bit guilty about his earlier plan to steal from his dead friends. Almost.

**********

Kara cursed when she walked into the engine room and found it empty. It just figured. She walked around the room, looking at the machinery closely. There were covers pulled off and things missing; they'd definitely been here. Kaylee had obviously found some things to take with them.

She put her hands on her hips and sighed. The last thing she wanted to do was run all over the ruined ship looking for Sam. He'd be just as happy hearing about Jean whenever he got back to Serenity on his own, and for all Kara knew he was already there. She left the engine room, going back the way she came, rolling her aching shoulder. The wound Sam had cleaned up earlier hurt like hell. She might have to let the Doc take a look at it later, which annoyed her.

She was about to turn a corner and head towards the front of the ship when she heard a clang down the opposite corridor. Thinking Sam and Kaylee must have gone to look at something else she headed in their direction.

"Hey Sam," she called out as she came to the next cross corridor. "You'll never guess who—" Kara stopped dead in her tracks, all thought of Jean and Sam gone from her head. The man standing in the hallway wasn't Sam. He wasn't a member of either crew.

He turned towards her in surprise as he pulled a knife.

**********

"This is the last of it," Sharon told them as Mal picked up one heaping crate full of wires and other assorted things. Zoe was similarly laden, her box being full of some metal sheeting and cylinders. "Let me just grab a couple of our flight suits. Won't hurt to have them along." Sharon walked over to a small walk in locker to the left of the main door and rummaged inside. Mal turned to Zoe.

"Well this has certainly turned into an eventful day."

"You did say you were lookin' for more action, sir."

"Yeah, teach me to open my mouth." He shifted the box, trying to find a more comfortable hold. It was heavy enough he didn't like standing around with it. "Sharon, we're going to start heading back if that's OK with you." She stuck a hand out to wave them off.

"Go ahead, I'll be right behind you." Mal and Zoe started towards the door, his mind already racing ahead, trying to figure out how to handle the new passengers and the job all at the same time. This was turning out to maybe be a little more action than he wanted.

He could only sigh and roll his eyes when the door opened ahead of them and three armed men marched in.

**********

Jayne shifted awkwardly on his feet. Jean and Helo were joking quietly while Simon worked on her, giving each other a hard time in a way that reminded him a bit of Mal and Zoe. Soldiers, comrades, they had that vibe. It wasn't something Jayne had ever really felt, and it made him itchy. He didn't do camaraderie. Deciding he didn't want to stand around watching anymore he started towards the door.

"I'm goin' to see what the hold up with Mal and Zoe is," he grumbled by way of explanation. Nobody even looked up as he walked out and turned towards the hold.

They looked up when he backed into the room with a gun pointed at his chest.

**********


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

"Well, this is awkward," Mal said as he eyed the three men in front of him. "As you can see, we're on our way out, so feel free to take whatever else you'd—"

"I think we'll be takin' all of it. We're not much for sharin'." The man was short and thin and had that look about him that said he'd lived his whole life out on the rim. His companions were much the same, though a little taller, and they were all dirty. One might think their current state was simply an aversion to good personal hygiene, but Mal recognized camouflage when he saw it. Planet like this, everything caked in dust and mud, dirty was the way to be.

Mal didn't look at Sharon but he could still see her in his peripheral vision. She was hidden by the storage locker door. Mal and Zoe couldn't get to their weapons fast enough with the crates in their hands, but if Sharon could…Mal had to suppress a curse. She didn't have her gun, he remembered. She'd kept rolling on it while working underneath the raptor, so she'd handed it off to Karl.

"Why don't we just leave this for you then," Mal said as he started to lower the crate the floor. He needed his hands free…

"I don't think so," the short man sneered. "I like seein' your hands right there." Mal glanced at Zoe.

"If you want what we got, but don't want us to give it to you, I'm afraid I'm at a bit of a loss as to what to do."

"You're goin' to start by tellin' us how many crew you got and where they are."

"Wouldn't know," Mal stalled. The men were inching their way further into the hold, spreading out as they went. "I been a bit busy in here. Not that I'd be particularly inclined to tell you if I did know." There was something about these men that was nagging at the back of his mind, something familiar he couldn't quite place.

"You're goin' to tell me, or I'm goin' to shoot your lady," he said, swinging his pistol around to Zoe.

"I wouldn't recommend it. She tends to get a bit testy when people shoot at her. Ain't that right, Zoe?"

"I'm fickle like that." One of the men was close to the storage locker. Just a few more steps and—

Sharon pushed the door hard, knocking the man back and crushing him against the wall. She rushed out and grabbed the next one, one hand around his wrist, keeping his gun pointed harmlessly at the floor as he fired several rounds, the other hand wrapping around his throat as she pushed him against the wall too. The lead man swung his gun around to shoot her but Zoe had already moved. She grabbed a metal cylinder from the crate and dropped it, the loud bang focusing the gun in her direction again. He didn't have time to get off a shot though before Zoe knocked his arm away with the cylinder. He doubled over when she rammed it into his stomach, and went down hard when she delivered a powerful uppercut to his chin. Mal watched him bleed while he set the crate down and drew his gun.

He and Zoe looked over when they heard a strangled gurgle. Sharon still had the man by his throat but now his feet dangled off the floor as she held him up, her eyes burning. She twisted his wrist sharply and it broke with a snap, his gun dropping to the floor while he tried to cry out. Zoe and Mal exchanged glances but didn't say anything.

"I'm going to put you down, and when I do you're going to tell me if there are any more of you and how many. If you don't tell me what I want to know I will make you bleed." Sharon didn't give him any time to respond before she dropped him, his body crumpling to the ground in a heap. She kicked his gun further out of reach as she back up, giving him some space as he cradled his injured hand.

"Well?" she questioned, hands on hips. The man glared up at her before spitting at her feet. She considered him solemnly for a moment before planting her boot in his face. He fell to the side, knocked out but still breathing. Sharon sighed and looked over at them.

"He's not going to tell us anything."

"No he's not," Zoe agreed. Mal walked over to the leader and bent down, studying him. Something was still nagging him, and with a rush he realized what. He grabbed the man's coat and ripped off the patch that was sewn to the lapel.

"_Tzao gao_," he breathed, staring down at the faded grey circle with three red stars painted on. He held it out to Zoe. She took it and raised her eyebrows at Mal.

"Krauss's men? I didn't think he came out this far."

"Must be he's expanded his operation."

"Something wrong?" Sharon asked, coming over. "I mean, more wrong than it already was." Zoe handed her the patch.

"These men are part of a gang. Their boss, Thomas Krauss, gives these to his men to mark them, so people know who belongs to him. He's a thief and a vulture. If he's got men out here you can guarantee it's more than these three."

"Let's get what we came for and get the hell back to the ship."

**********

"Jayne Cobb, you sorry son of a bitch. I'd heard you'd hooked yourself to a transport junker, I just didn't believe it." The man in front of him grinned, showing several missing teeth.

"Cormick." Jayne eyed him coolly. "Ain't seen you since you tried to steal my half of the take after the Torac job." Cormick shrugged.

"Nothin' personal. You'd have done the same."

"Not the exact same," it was Jayne's turn to grin. "I wouldn't have failed." The two shared a small chuckle, but Cormick's gun remained where it was. Jayne thought again of Zoe and Mal, and Helo and Jean, and the bond they had. This was the kind of bond he was used to; the kind that lasted only as long as it took to find a way to stab your partner in the back.

"I roll with a new crowd now, Cobb. And you're in our territory."

"Didn't see your name on it." Gone were the grins and the chuckles. This was business now. Messy business. It was probably only going to get messier.

"Don't change facts that you're in it, and we cannot condone trespassin'. I'd like to say I'm sorry 'bout shootin' you, but, well, I just don't like you that much." He raised the gun a little higher. "If it's any condolence, we ain't gonna kill your women. Though they might wish we had."

A shot rang out and Jayne flinched, expecting to feel the searing pain of a bullet rip through him. Instead Cormick stumbled back, blood arching through the air. Jayne looked over and saw the end of Jean's gun peaking through what was now a rather conspicuous hole in the blanket she was covered in. Her face was ashen, the recoil of the gun obviously having caused considerable pain. He looked back to Cormick in time to see him start to raise the gun again. Jean had been shooting blind from under the blanket and she'd only winged a shoulder.

Jayne rushed forward before he could think and threw himself at the other man. They slammed into the wall hard and he heard the gun clatter to the floor. Cormick tried to break for the door, probably to call for backup from his 'new crowd'. He never got the chance. Jayne lunged and wrapped an arm around his neck, gripping under the chin and yanking up and to the right as hard as he could. He heard the snap, felt the body go limp, and dropped his former colleague with angry callousness.

The occupants of the infirmary were silent a moment, the events of the past few minutes having happened so fast they needed time to process. The body lay cooling at Jayne's feet when he looked back up at Jean.

"Thanks," he said shortly. She nodded.

"Makes us even." Simon helped her settle again, adjusting the blanket around her as she shivered. Helo gave her shoulder a squeeze before walking to Jayne.

"We should find everyone else, make sure they're OK. Then we can get the frak out of here."

"I'm all for that plan." They looked up when Inara and River came running in.

"What happened, we heard gunshots—" she stared at the body.

"We had some unexpected company. Gotta go and find the Captain. Lock the door behind us." Helo and Jayne pushed past them and Jayne shut the door himself. He heard the locks click into place as they headed towards the front of the ship with guns drawn.

**********

Sam crouched low, gripping his sidearm tightly as he peaked around the corner. Behind him he could hear Kaylee breathing hard. But she stayed otherwise quiet, and calm, and that was good. Having to deal with hysterics would have complicated matters even more.

They'd taken a longer way back from the engine room. Kaylee seemed to love the ship, loved looking at it, and it wasn't like he'd been in a hurry to get anywhere. And Kaylee was good company, cheerful and pleasant, things Sam hadn't had a lot of lately. So they'd wandered off to explore a bit on their way back to Serenity with the pilfered engine parts.

Then they'd heard the gunshots. At first they'd just started running, assuming there'd been a fight between the two crews. But he'd heard unfamiliar voices, and when he'd gone to investigate the men he saw were strangers, and they were armed.

Sam had his gun, and he would use it if he had to, but once he did he would announce their location to anyone on the ship. He wanted to get back to Serenity with as little fanfare as possible, so for now they were sneaking quietly and unseen through the ship, taking alternate routes anytime they came across one of the men. He'd only seen a handful so far, three or four, and he was pretty sure two of them had been the same man who'd happened to end up in front of them twice. It was hard to tell with the lights so low. But then, the low lighting made his job easier as he pulled Kaylee behind him.

They were almost out now. There was a tear in the hull in a room about twenty meters down the corridor. All they had to do was get to it. He motioned silently for Kaylee to stay close to him as he began to inch forward. There was no cover until they got to that room. If someone came by they would be seen. The thought ran through his head over and over when he heard a loud chuckle followed by a banging sound. They froze, waiting. The sound of voices continued but didn't come any closer, and Sam wanted to hit something when he realized they were coming from inside the room. He pressed himself tight against the wall as he thought quickly. They could go back and try and find another way out, but he didn't know how many other people they might encounter, if they'd be able to get to another exit.

_Wait here_, he mouthed silently to Kaylee. She nodded, her eyes huge as she clutched her bag of parts. Sam crept forward the last few remaining yards and peaked around the doorway. Two men were inside. They'd unearthed a pyramid ball from somewhere and were throwing it at each other, making crude comments about what they were going to do with the money from their bounty. Sam slipped back to Kaylee and pulled her into a half hug so he could whisper directly in her ear.

"We need to take care of the men inside, but if I shoot them more might come. I need your help, Kaylee. I need you to help me get them out of that room. Do you think you can do that?" He felt her shudder once, but she nodded resolutely. Sam quickly filled her in on his hastily thrown together plan.

When he was sure she understood they switched places, Kaylee sliding closer to the door. She looked back at him and Sam nodded at her reassuringly. She was terrified, he could see that. But she had a tough streak, and she wasn't backing down. Sam had dealt with enough inexperienced civilians to know when someone would fold under the pressure. Kaylee wouldn't.

She pulled the strap of her bag from her shoulder so she could hold it in front of her with both hands. With one last deep breath she ran forward, stopping deliberately at the doorway, in full view of the men inside. She gave an exaggerated squeal of surprise, then continued down the hallway. Sam, still pressed tight against the wall, waited while the men inside cursed and ran out after her. He let the first one go by, then reached out and snagged the second one as he came rushing into the corridor. He wrapped one arm around his neck mercilessly tight, pinching his windpipe closed, and started backing down the hall quickly. The man he had couldn't keep his balance and his full weight only increased the pressure on his neck. The other man turned when he heard his friend struggling.

"Hey!" he shouted, running back towards them. Sam watched him come but didn't lessen his grip. The man had almost reached them when the sound of Kaylee running up behind him had him spinning around again. He didn't have time to dodge as she swung her bag at his face with all her might, just as Sam had told her to. The heavy engine parts inside connected with flesh with a terrible crunch, and he went down hard. Sam held on to his man until he finally stopped struggling and went limp from lack of oxygen. Kaylee looked down at the blood pouring from the other man's nose.

"Did…did I kill him?" she asked, her voice shaking. Sam bent down and checked his pulse.

"No. You didn't kill anyone, Kaylee. You just stopped him from hurting us, OK?" He could see the violence of what she'd done was upsetting her and he didn't want that. He pulled her into the room and gripped her shoulders, making sure she was looking at him. "You saved us, you understand? If I'd had to fight them both I might have had to kill them, or one of them might have hurt me. But that didn't happen because you helped. You saved us. Mal's going to be real proud of you." Her eyes brightened at that, and Sam was glad he'd pegged her devotion to her Captain correctly.

"You think?" He smiled at her.

"You have your very own war story now." He slid his hand down and held hers as they approached the opening to the outside. Still holding onto her with one hand he pulled his gun back out with the other as he scanned the distance between them and the ship. It would take them maybe fifteen or twenty seconds to get to Serenity at a dead run. A lot of time to be out in the open. They didn't have a choice though. He turned back to her.

"We're going to have to make a run for it. Once we're out there I want you to keep running no matter what. If you hear gunshots, keep running. If I get hurt, you leave me and keep running, do you understand?" She nodded. He gave her hand a light squeeze. "Don't let go unless I fall, OK? If you get hurt, you're small enough for me to carry. You won't have the same luck trying to carry me." She managed a small smile.

They turned back to the opening and Sam made one last sweep of the terrain. Then they were off, running as fast as they could. He saw movement out of the corner of his eye and was relieved to see it was Mal and Zoe and Athena. They ran too, Athena and Mal each with boxes tucked under one arm. The two groups were nearly neck and neck and almost to the ship when shots rang out. They came from the cliffs, but Sam didn't dare slow down to look. He pulled Kaylee closer to him and pushed her head down as they ran up the ramp, into the safety of the hold.

It was chaos then. Athena, Mal, and Zoe were right behind them, shutting the door as they came in, but then Helo and Jayne were there too, and everyone was shouting questions and instructions over each other, and over all the confusion and noise only one thing got through to Sam.

He couldn't find Kara.

"Where's Kara?" he asked, but no one heard him. "HEY!" he shouted at the top of his lungs. Everyone looked at him, startled and suddenly silent. "Where is Kara?" Everyone looked around, like they expected to see her pop out from her hiding spot any second. Sam's heart sped up when no one seemed to know the answer.

"She went after you," Zoe finally spoke up. "She went to find you in the engine room. She's not with you?" Sam thought his heart might stop when he realized she was still trapped back on the Demetrius. He was moving back towards the hatch before the thought had even fully formed.

"Sam," Helo called out, putting a hand on his shoulder to stop him. Sam spun around.

"No, I'm going after her. I'm not leaving her."

"Then let us—"

"No! The more people who go over, the more people might not come back. I can find her on my own faster if I don't have to worry about other people." Helo finally nodded and stepped back reluctantly. Sam looked over as Mal cleared his throat.

"Take this," he said, handing Sam some kind of communicator. "So we can call you back if she gets out on her own. Don't want to have to send someone after you. We'll hold the ship as long as we can. Try not to dawdle." Sam once again turned towards the hatch, and was once again stopped by someone calling his name. When he turned Athena tossed him a rifle, one of the few automatics they'd had aboard. She didn't say anything. She didn't have to.

"We'll try and give you some cover." Zoe pulled her shotgun and cocked it. She hit the button to lower the ramp. Sam didn't even wait for it to hit the ground before he jumped and started running.

**********

Kara eyed the man wearily. He was big, not just tall but thick, like he was solid muscle. Judging by the way he clumsily held his knife she wasn't pegging him as a trained fighter, but he wouldn't necessarily need training. His size and probable strength would give him the advantage. There were ways around this of course, but Kara wasn't exactly at the top of her game. Her lack of sleep and decent nutrition in the past few weeks had taken a toll. She was sluggish and off her game and she knew it. She should have pulled her gun immediately, instead she'd let the surprise of finding him there freeze her until it was too late. Her holster was snapped closed and he was too close. She couldn't unsnap and draw before he could lunge and stab. She needed to get some distance between them.

"Who are you?" She was calm, calculating. She needed to get him talking, get him distracted.

"I'm your new best friend, baby." He licked his lips lasciviously and Kara had to fight not to roll her eyes. She heard gunshots somewhere in the ship, but couldn't stop to think or worry on it now. He was following her as she retreated, but he was taking his time. She was widening the space between them. Not by much, but it might be enough. She knew there was a stairwell behind her, at the end of the corridor. If she could just get to it…

"I've got enough friends, and you're really not my type." This only seemed to encourage him. He played with his knife and he made great show of looking her up and down.

"Got a little fight in ya, huh? Mmm, that's real nice." Kara suppressed her gag reflex. She supposed she should be grateful he was a pretty standard thug and not someone more skilled or intelligent, but that didn't mean she had to enjoy listening to his bilge.

"You really think you have a chance of hurting me?" Just a few more steps.

"It doesn't have to hurt." There. She was where she needed to be. She rolled to the balls of her feet, preparing to move.

"You want me? Go ahead, try it." She unsnapped the holster and he lunged. She'd never been planning on getting her gun out fast enough. Instead she threw herself to the side. His momentum carried him forward and over the edge, and she pulled her weapon as he fell. He was faster than she'd given him credit for, though, and as he fell he reached out and snagged her arm. He didn't get a good grip, but it was enough to tip her balance, and she tumbled after him.

Her already aching shoulder burst into fresh pain as she heard it pop out of place. She lost her grip on the gun as she hit the floor at the bottom, and heard it slide off somewhere into the darkness. They both lay there for a moment, stunned and winded. Kara moved first. She swung a leg around and kicked him hard. She didn't even know what she'd hit, she just wanted him to hurt. Her head swam as she struggled to her feet. She'd only managed to take a few staggering steps when she felt his arms go around her legs. He yanked back and she fell, barely catching herself. Her vision went gray with pain as her full weight and then some was put on her injured shoulder.

The man growled in rage as he tried to pull her back towards him. Tugging one boot free she slammed it back into his face, blood spurting from his nose as he howled. She started to crawl limply forward, too dizzy with pain to even contemplate trying to stand. Kara kept her eyes focused on the door just a few feet away. If she could shut herself inside, she could give herself time to regroup. She never even made it halfway.

His full weight slammed down on her and she collapsed against the floor. With a roar he flipped her over and hit her hard. She must have blacked out for just a few seconds. When her vision cleared he had his hands around her throat and she didn't remember him doing it. She tried to think quickly even as her oxygen was cut off.

The knife. She'd tucked a knife into her boot when they'd been preparing to fight what they thought were the Cylons.

She rammed her thumb into his eye. He cried out, but grabbed her wrist with one hand and pulled her away before she could do any lasting damage. He squeezed her neck tighter, and with the last of her strength she brought her knee up between his legs. His eyes bulged and his grip slackened, and Kara drove her fist into the base of his throat. Chocking and clutching at his neck he rolled off her. She reached down and grabbed the knife from her boot. She heaved herself on top of him and brought it down straight into his chest before he had time to comprehend what was happening. He breathed a final few gurgling breaths and then was silent.

Kara collapsed on her back, breathing hard as she took stock of her injuries. As she lay completely still the pain in her shoulder lessened, and her head stopped swimming. That was good. She was hoping that meant the pain had been what caused her disorientation and not a head wound. A brief exploration with her good hand turned up no signs of blood or outward swelling on her face or head, except for her nose which may have been broken.

She wasn't sure how long she lay there. She knew she needed to get up, get moving before someone else came along, but she wanted to make sure she wasn't going to pass out when she tried to stand again.

It was the sound of automatic weapons fire that finally got her back on her feet. She had to steady herself against the wall, but the dizziness was faint and passed quickly. She was able to move fairly quickly as she started down the corridor, though she had to cradle her left arm to keep her motions from jarring her shoulder. She heard no more gunfire so she just kept heading in the direction she knew Serenity would be in.

It was a few minutes later when she heard the shouts.

"Kara! KARA!" Sam. She could hear the panic in his voice, and part of her wanted to weep in relief at having someone, anyone, there beside her.

"SAM! I'm here, Sam!" She gripped the knife tightly in her hand, not knowing if there was anyone else close by to hear her. She hadn't had time to go looking for her gun. They called back and forth a few more times, and then he was rounding a corner and running to her, his face full of concern.

"Oh gods, Kara. What happened?" He reached for her and she realized there was blood on her shirt from when she stabbed the nameless man.

"It's not mine," she reassured him, steadying herself against him as he tipped her head back and examined her face and nose closely. "My shoulder…" He winced when he saw it, sticking up at an odd angle. "I need you to set it."

"We should wait until we get back to Simon, he can give you something to—"

"Godsdammit Sam, I'm frakking useless like this. I can barely walk without it hurting. Just pop it back in so we can get the hell out of here." She could see he didn't like it, but he moved behind her and gripped her shoulder tightly.

"On three. One, two—" he yanked back early, and Kara's knees nearly went out from under her. He wrapped an arm around her from behind and she let her head roll back against his shoulder as she waited for the horrendous pain to pass. After awhile her breathing slowed and Sam stepped away from her.

"We need to go." He handed her his sidearm as he spoke, shifting the automatic he had strapped over his shoulder back around front. She took it, more than happy to be adequately armed again. She gave an experimental shrug and found that though she was still sore she could move her shoulder without blinding pain.

The run through the ship was a blur. They weren't careful anymore. The goal was to get out, not to be quiet. When someone got in their way they were taken out fast.

Then they were outside, running across the open field, and people were shooting at them, but they didn't stop. The ramp to Serenity began to raise when they were a few feet away, and she and Sam jumped onboard. The ramp raised and shielded them, and as they collapsed, panting, Serenity shuddered and took off leaving their enemies in the dust.

**********


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

"Is everyone OK? Are we all on board?" Wash's voice drifted over them as Kara and Sam dragged themselves to their feet. Mal hit a button on the comm box.

"We're here. Set us a course for Persephone _ma-shong_." Everyone else gathered closer, waiting to find out what they were supposed to do now. Mal looked over at Kara and saw blood dripping down her face.

"Looks like you had a bit of a party," he said, pulling out a handkerchief and handing it to her. She gave a rueful smile as she took a swipe at her bleeding nose.

"I'm still breathing. I think that puts me a bit ahead of the other guy."

"Glad to hear it. How bad is it?" he motioned to her nose. She shrugged.

"Doesn't hurt enough to be broken. I guess you weren't kidding about those locals." Mal looked over as Book and Inara came up from the infirmary. He acknowledged them with a nod and turned back to Kara.

"There was a little more local color than even I was expectin'." He leaned against the side of the stairwell as he regarded her. "You and your people are pretty handy in a fight."

"I'd be pretty pissed at them if they weren't."

"And I appreciate that you got Kaylee out of there safely," he nodded at Sam. "But I can't help but be curious 'bout somethin'." Kara lifted an eyebrow.

"And what exactly would that be?" she asked wearily. Mal looked over at Sharon.

"How did you pick that man up? He had a good foot and fifty pounds on you, but you tossed him around like a rag doll."

"Adrenaline has been known to—"

"No," Sharon cut Karl off as he tried to step in. "Don't. I'm not lying, not again. I was done hiding who I am a long time ago." She met Mal's eyes with a level gaze. "I'm a Cylon."

There was no sound in the hold save for the gentle thrum of Serenity's engines. Most of Mal's crew stared at her like they couldn't believe it. Mal himself had a hard time doing so. They'd said Cylons looked completely human, but he hadn't really understood how completely until he looked in her eyes and could see the life in them. He would never have guessed if he hadn't seen her demonstration of strength.

The others from the Demetrius had all drifted a bit closer to her, ready to defend her if necessary, though Mal knew she probably didn't need their help. The tension had been growing thicker and thicker as the silence stretched on. Jayne, of course, could always be counted upon to say something inappropriate.

"So…you're, like, a robot?" He turned to Mal. "Well that's just great. Wonder what else it can do."

"Watch your frakking mouth." Karl's response was quick and heated. He took a step toward Jayne but Sharon stopped him. Silently she walked over to one of the many boxes that had been brought over from their ship. After a moment she pulled out a photograph and carried it over to Jayne. Quick as lightning she reached out and grabbed him by the scuff of his neck, forcing their heads close together as she thrust the picture into his face.

"Look at her. Do you see her? Her smile? This is Hera. This is my daughter. We made her, me and Helo. I carried her inside my body for nine months. I almost died giving birth to her. So you don't get to call me 'it', do you understand? I am a mother, and a soldier, and a wife." Her voice broke a little towards the end, and her eyes filled. The tears didn't fall, but Mal could see she had to fight it. Karl came up behind her and gently pulled her away. He turned her around and held her hands, bending down slightly so he could look straight in her eyes.

"We'll get back to her," he whispered earnestly. "She's safe for now, and we'll find a way to get home." Sharon nodded but didn't say anything. The pain they both shared over being separated from their child was clear as day, and even Jayne looked slightly chagrined. Mal stepped forward.

"You helped save me and Zoe's life. You helped defend my ship. From where I stand that makes you a friend."

"Besides," Zoe stepped forward too, "your people would have more reason to be afraid of you than we do, and they clearly ain't. That's good enough for me." Mal gave Jayne a very pointed stare and nodded in Karl and Sharon's direction. He grunted and shifted on his feet awkwardly.

"I, uh…I didn't…um…sorry. 'Bout the 'it' thing. Cute kid." Sharon sighed and nodded.

"I'm just glad we all got back OK. The six of us—"

"Six?" Sam interrupted Kara. He looked around at the assembled group, confused.

"Gods, I didn't…Jean's alive, Sam." She smiled at him, a full, genuine smile. "She made it. She's in the infirmary, that's what I was coming to tell you." Sam looked shocked at first but soon broke out in a huge grin. She nodded her heads towards the back hatch and Sam went off immediately to see Jean. Kara's smile faded as she watched him go.

"He led the human resistance on Caprica, and again on New Caprica," she filled them in. "Jean was…well, Jean was like his Zoe." Mal nodded, understanding completely. He looked over at Kaylee when she gave a small yawn.

"I know there's a lot more we need to talk about," he began. "But it's been a long day, for all of us. I think we should all take a break, get some rest. We have at least a couple days before we get to Persephone, so there's no rush to do everythin' right this minute."

"Yeah," Karl agreed. "I think that'd be good for everyone." He glanced at Kara, who had seemingly withdrawn into herself since Sam's departure. She was staring at the floor, a morose expression on her face.

"OK, well, we have limited space on the ship, so I hope everyone's alright bunking with their sweethearts." Kara nodded, not looking up.

"Why don't I give you the grand tour, show you your quarters and the head where you can clean up. We'll get everyone' settled in."

**********

She looked at the mirror, followed the scars with her eyes, tracing them with her fingers. Kara knew the story behind every one of them. The scar from the surgery after she'd trashed her knee. The one on her arm where she'd gotten into a drunken fight while in flight school. And on her abdomen, the twin scars where the Cylon's had taken out a bullet and something else.

Was that the answer? Had they used what they'd taken to make a new her? All the questions she'd had before were still there. Without a mission, without a ship to captain or a group of bandits to fight she couldn't drown them out and pretend they weren't.

She stared at her own naked body, and it was hers but it wasn't. She'd seen the footage herself, watched her ship blow. How could it still be her when she'd burned to nothing?

Kara looked over, irritated, and grabbed for a towel when the door opened. But it was just Sam.

"You don't knock anymore?" He set a bundle down on a bench near the door.

"Not like I haven't seen everything already anyway." Kara turned back to the mirror.

"Sure about that? Maybe something's different. A new mole, some freckles, something that wasn't there before."

"Is that was this is about? Why you've been in here so long?" He moved up behind her but didn't touch her.

"You weren't worried, were you Sammy?"

"You've been in here almost half an hour."

"I didn't realize anyone else was waiting." She'd let everyone else go ahead of her, but she'd completely forgotten about Sam. "How's Barolay?" He rubbed his forehead tiredly.

"She'll be OK. Gaeta too. Simon wants them to stay in the infirmary until we get to this Persephone in a couple of days, just to be safe. Speaking of…" he trailed off as he stripped his tanks over his head and unbuttoned his pants. Kara just raised an eyebrow.

"Inara's going to wash all our clothes, even the clean ones. Guess Simon's concerned about the sanitation conditions on the Demetrius, wants to disinfect whatever he can." Kara rolled her eyes.

"Frak's sake, the ship stank, doesn't mean it was dirty." He grinned slightly.

"Like I said, he's a 'just to be safe' kind of guy." Sam finished stripping, then gathered up her clothes as well as his own and cracked the door enough to toss them out. Kara crossed her arms as she considered him.

"I gotta say, I never pegged you for an exhibitionist." He pointed to the bundle he'd set down earlier.

"Inara loaned you a robe."

"She loan you one too?"

"Cute, but no. Jayne, with some gentle persuasion, lent me some pants."

"Too bad. Bet you'd look pretty in a skirt." Sam just pointed to the shower.

Grinning a tiny bit despite herself, she stepped into the small stall and turned the water on. A weak stream of cool water came down and made Kara jump a little as Sam squeezed in behind her. She stood still and let him clean her shoulder wound, eyes watering a little as he scrubbed all the grime of the day away until he was satisfied it wouldn't get infected. She motioned for him to turn around, knowing he had scratches of his own that should be cleaned. She stopped him halfway though, and frowned as she looked down.

"What is that?" she asked, motioning to the still pink scar that ran across his hip. "You didn't have that before, when did you get it?"

"Oh," he looked down at it a little confused, like he'd forgotten it was there. "Right. It was right after I joined up. There was a fight in the pilot's common room, a card game gone wrong I think. I made the mistake of trying to break it up, got shoved into a table for my trouble. Never did figure out what I got cut on." Kara fingered the new scar lightly, wondering for the first time what else had happened to him while she'd been gone.

"Should've just let 'em slug it out," she said as she pushed him around so she could wash his back. When all the blood had been washed away they shut the water off, not wanting to waste it. He grabbed a towel and swatted her with it as they got out, and she smiled weakly as she took it. She quickly and roughly towel dried her hair as he pulled his borrowed pants on. He tossed her the robe and Kara let the green, silky material slide through her fingers. It wasn't exactly her style, but it felt pretty good on her banged up body when she slid her arms through the sleeves. She glanced in the mirror again as she ran a hand through her hair, paused to consider herself.

"I don't have a plan." She hadn't meant to say it, not out loud. But it was Sam, so she finished the thought. "I don't know what I'm supposed to do next, and that scares the shit out of me." He walked over and cupped her face in his hands, raised her gaze to his.

"Nobody expects you to know everything, Kara. We'll figure it out as we go, together." She nodded and he kissed her forehead.

No one was around when they walked out and made their way over to their bunk. Once inside she sat heavily on the bed, her eyes drooping slightly. Sam opened up a med pack he must have gotten from Simon and started sifting through it. He motioned for her to turn around as he pulled out some gauze and ointment. Kara glowered at him but he just gave her a stern look. Barely managing to avoid rolling her eyes she turned and let the robe fall far enough. The ointment stung a little but Sam's hands were gentle as he bandaged the cut. He piled everything back into the pack and set it on the floor, and she wrapped herself in the cloth again. They sat next to each other in silence for a few minutes, each lost in thought.

"It's gone, you know. That feeling." Sam didn't say anything, but she knew he heard her. "The whole time part of me wished so hard that I could just be rid of it. That I could just feel like myself again. Now I do, and I wish I couldn't feel at all." Sam rested a hand on her knee.

"Kara, I know what it's like to lose men. To give them their last orders. Gods, there are times when I think about New Caprica, and the people I sent to…you did what you had to do, OK? Second guessing yourself doesn't do you any good, it doesn't do the men you have left any good. Whether you made a mistake or not, we still need our Captain." Kara pulled at a stray thread on the robe, trying to put into words what she needed to get out. She knew he was right. She'd learned very quickly as she rose through the ranks that when you commanded men eventually some of them would die, and you had to accept that fact and give the orders anyway. You had to learn how to live with it when they didn't all come home. She knew it, but still it ate at her. She looked over at the shelf where she'd placed Hotdog's tags.

"I've lost men before. When you send them out against the Cylons, against any enemy, that's the job, that's…but what was the point, Sam? What did they die for this time? For a crazy vision? A whim?" She looked at him now, angry at everything and nothing. He moved off the bed and knelt in front of her, taking her by the shoulders.

"For a chance to save humanity, Kara. You heard what Mal said, there are hundreds of habitable planets here. It may not be Earth exactly, but it's a chance to start over. Someplace where everyone can stop running."

"If we can get them here," she muttered. Sam tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and smiled.

"Then I guess you have your new mission. We'll find a way to get to them, and we'll bring them home. You'll bring them home." Kara nodded, not quite sure she believed him but wanting to enough that for now it didn't matter. Sam nudged her knee. "You need to sleep, you look like the walking dead." He winced as soon as he said it, but Kara laughed. Maybe it wasn't the happiest sound ever, but at least it wasn't tears or cursing. That was an improvement.

Kara stood and slid the robe off, tossing it on the floor. It wasn't the kind of material one slept in. Crawling naked into bed, she burrowed under the covers, her eyelids already growing unbearably heavy. She turned onto her side, facing the wall, and listened to Sam as he dithered around. The familiar click of a cartridge snapping into place told her he was planning on sleeping with a loaded gun nearby. Not a bad idea all things considered.

He turned off the light and crawled in behind her, and she felt his back press against hers, a warm and comforting presence. She realized dimly that he'd placed himself between her and the door, but was already too far gone to decide if it was sweet or annoying. She gave a mental shrug and then let the darkness take her under.

**********


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

Kara was immediately aware of two things when she woke again. One, sometime during the night Sam had rolled over and wrapped himself around her. Two, he was snoring directly in her ear. Loudly. It was reminiscent of so many other mornings with him that for just a moment Kara wondered if she was back on New Caprica and everything since then had been some awful, crazy dream. For a minute she just let herself get twisted up in the memories. It wasn't so bad, waking up in Sam's arms.

The snoring was a problem though.

She elbowed him sharply in the ribs, knowing just how to handle the situation. He gave one final snort, then shifted, drawing her closer to him as he buried his head in her hair. The absence of snoring plus the way he was kissing the back of her neck as he slowly woke was a definite improvement.

"Morning, Sam," she whispered. His response was an incomprehensible mumble, and Kara had to bite her lip, the familiarity of the whole thing almost too much to handle, knowing it wasn't really the same. She felt him stiffen slightly and knew he'd come fully awake.

"Sorry," he said, trying to withdraw and give her the space he thought she'd want. She stopped him instead, grabbing his arm.

"Don't," was all she said. He settled back down, arm draped over her loosely. For awhile they just stayed like that, relaxing in the relative calm.

"Thank you," she said abruptly.

"For what?" Sam asked sleepily.

"For…not running, screaming, for the nearest exit. " She felt him prop himself up on one elbow so he could look down at her.

"Sorry, I didn't quite catch that. Could you repeat yourself?" His tone was light and teasing, and Kara fought not to smile as she gave him a mean look.

"You heard me, _Sammy_." She said the reviled nickname deliberately and tried to elbow him again, but he caught her arm pressed her down with his body.

"Don't call me Sammy," he whispered as he tickled her. Kara shrieked and tried to buck him off. She turned in his arms, thinking maybe a nice quickie would help her keep her good mood for the rest of the day.

"FRAK!" she shouted, pressing herself against the wall as her eyes focused on the room behind him for the first time.

River sat cross-legged on the floor, head tilted as she watched them. Her only movement at Kara's outburst was to smile at them. Sam, who had also pushed himself back towards the wall, looked at Kara but she just shrugged.

"What are you doing?" he asked River. She smiled even bigger and held out her arms, hands full of cloth.

"I brought you clothes. I thought you might want to play dress up." They were their military tanks and pants, Kara could see that from across the room. Deciding she didn't want to be trapped naked in a room with some kind of psychic, she untangled herself from the blanket and stood.

"Kara!" Sam admonished her. She just looked at him.

"Pretty sure she's seen the plumbing before, Sam." She crossed to the other girl and took the clothes from her, tossing Sam his. She dressed quickly despite her outwardly blasé attitude.

"OK," she said when she was dressed, looking down at the girl. She'd been blown backwards yesterday when River had announced her secret to everyone. But today she just didn't seem that scary. Mal didn't seem to believe her wild claims, and she hardly looked threatening sitting there all pretty in a pink skirt, smiling up at Kara with something close to reverence. "Let's, uh, let's go find your brother. Or someone." She offered a hand to River, but the girl stood without help. Her movements reminded Kara of the dancers she'd seen at the Caprica ballet when she and Zak had experimented with 'grownup dates'.

"I'll find you in a bit," Sam said, picking at his clothes while he stared at River with open mistrust. She shrugged. If he didn't want to tag along it was no skin off her nose.

"OK." She slid the door open, a little unused to the absence of a heavy hatch, and let River go out first.

**********

Mal found Wash and Zoe up in the cockpit. This far out in space Wash didn't need to do much actual piloting, not once a course was set, but the flight chair was his domain; he liked to hang out there, even when it wasn't needed. He slumped in it now, feet propped up on the consol, careful not to press on anything important. Zoe stood behind him, hands on his shoulders, not saying anything, just being there. It was a very married moment, one Mal felt a little bad for intruding on.

"How long until we're close enough to send word to Persephone?" he asked without preamble. Wash started, not having heard him come in, and immediately lowered his feet and sat up.

"Uh…looks like we should be in range in a little over a day. We could send sooner, if you were willing to bounce off the Alliance satellite on Vardil, but…"

"That would not be wise," Mal agreed. "Hail Badger as soon as you can, set up a meet. But set the time back some, say an hour or two after our arrival. We'll need time to take the salvage haul in and get it traded. Keep it vague, he doesn't need to know a lot of details yet." Wash shook his head.

"That'll be pretty easy considering I have no idea why we're meeting with Badger. I thought Cypher gave you a job."

"In a manner of speakin'," Mal said cagily.

"We're dealing with two middlemen? That seems a bit counterproductive, don't you think? Not to mention expensive."

"It's not that simple," Zoe cut in.

"Well, you want to explain it to me then?" he demanded, frustrated.

"We will. I'm goin' to talk to everyone in a bit. However…"

"What do we do about our new guests?" Zoe finished for him.

It was a question Mal had been pondering most of the night. On the one hand he'd given his word to help them however he could. On the other, the logistics of providing that help were getting more and more complicated the more he thought it through.

"The way I see it we have two options. We can take them under our wing completely, fill them in on the job, what we do, and teach them how to live the life. Or we can dump them in Persephone. Easy as it would be, that just don't sit right with me."

"You wanna let strangers in on the secrets of our criminal activities?" Zoe asked, eyebrows raised.

"Want, no. But I don't think we have much choice. If I've read Captain Thrace right, and I'm mighty certain I have, she ain't going to settle for lies or partial truths. We've smuggled things under passenger's noses before, but this is different."

"Still with the not knowing what you're talking about here," Wash grumped. Mal gave him a nod.

"Everyone gets up, we'll all have a sit down." Zoe crossed her arms.

"There's a lot could go wrong here, sir."

"I know it, but they've put their trust in us. Figure we can do the same. Not like they can go the Alliance anyway, not if they don't want Sharon to end up their newest experiment." He sighed and headed towards the door. "I'll call you down when everyone else is up." Mal heard them talking as he walked towards the dining room, but didn't pay attention, his own mind busy with other things.

Kara was sitting at the table when he got there, feet propped up as Wash's had been earlier, chair tipped back. She'd helped herself to a glass of the grainy home brew they most often had around, though it didn't look like she'd drank much.

"Makin' yourself at home, I see," Mal said lightly. Kara didn't bother looking away from her glass when she responded, instead swirling the liquid around lazily.

"Seemed the thing to do. Certain members of your crew have already seen me naked. Thought that qualified me for some booze." She took a hearty drink while Mal wrinkled his brow in surprise.

"Seen you naked? It wasn't Jayne, was it?" Kara laughed, the sound coming easier than it had the day before.

"No, he'd be on the floor, bleeding. River seemed less threatening."

"_River_ saw you naked?" Mal asked, perplexed, as he poured himself a small glass.

"She was just sitting there, watching Sam and I sleep. You should get her a leash." Mal rolled his eyes as he sat across from her, not disagreeing with the sentiment.

"I'm sorry if she—" Kara cut him off with a wave of her hand.

"Simon already apologized about twelve times when I stopped by the infirmary." He sipped his drink as he considered her.

"How are they?"

"Doc has them all patched up and whining about being stuck in bed." Mal smiled a little, but it was fleeting. They needed to talk business.

"I need to know if I can trust you and your people." Kara looked a little surprised at the abrupt change of subject.

"I'm not sure what exactly you're talking about, but—"

"I'm talking about your crew and if they know how to keep their mouths shut." Kara frowned now, and dropped her feet so she could lean forward.

"They know when and how to shut up. Do we have a problem I need to know about?"

"Not that I know of. Yet. But there are certain aspects of our lives out here that are a bit…delicate." Something in her eye lit up, a dawning realization.

"This about the Torac job?" It was Mal's turn to be confused now. He'd pulled a lot of jobs, but couldn't remember anything on Torac.

"When I talked to Jean earlier she mentioned stuff about the man who attacked the infirmary. Seemed Jayne knew him, had some unfinished business over some 'job' in Torac, wherever that is. They had a disagreement over the 'take'. Sounded a bit shady to her. To me too." She took a drink before continuing.

"What it sounds like to me is you've got a thief working for you." She sat back in her chair, a little cocky now. "You know your way around salvaging a ship awfully fast, and have contacts who don't ask questions about where the merchandise came from. And you don't seem too fond of this Alliance government." She leaned forward again, eyes dancing. "I'm going to go out on a limb and guess you're…flexible, when it comes to the law." She tossed back the rest of her drink and slammed the glass down on the table, a challenge of sorts.

He had to give her credit for working it out on her own. Though his own pride was a little wounded. He'd have to have a talk with his crew about being more careful in front of civilians. Though Kara clearly didn't count as a normal civilian. She looked a lot better this morning, Mal noted. Her eyes were brighter, clearer, more alert. She looked rested, rude wake up aside. He considered her, then his own drink for a moment.

"I know you want to get back to your people. I said I'd help if I could, and I will, but I honestly don't know how. If Kaylee and Sharon can't get a shuttle set up for you…We can't just stop our lives. We have a job lined up and we need to complete it."

"What type of job," Kara asked, all business.

"Transport, mainly. Getting some untraceable cargo to some people who need it." Kara shook her head.

"I need more."

"You're not getting it until—"

"We're not going to frak with you or yours. But I need to know what you're getting us into. If I don't like it we'll step off on Persephone and you can run along, no harm no foul. Deal?" Mal weighed the options in his head, decided to go with his gut. He poured her another drink.

"During the war, a lot of people got thrown into new roles. People could move up the ranks fast, there just weren't enough men there for us to be picky. There was a man we thought was one of us, someone we trusted with one of those higher ranks. Turned out he was a turn coat; sold information to our enemies. We lost a lot of battles because of him." The old bitterness and anger tore at him and Mal struggled to keep his hand steady as he took a drink.

"This man, John Dadik, he rabbited as soon as we found out. Took his 'earnings' and went to ground, made sure we couldn't find him. That is, until the Alliance was declared victorious. Then he took his money and bought himself a planet."

"Cowardly bastard," Kara muttered, making Mal smile.

"That he is. Modest too. Got the Alliance to officially rename the planet Dadik." Kara choked on the drink she'd just taken. She wiped her chin clean as she laughed.

"He named the planet after himself? Gods, even Baltar wasn't that narcissistic." Mal only vaguely remembered the name she referenced, but it didn't really matter, he laughed with her anyway. He was glad for the booze as he poured more for both of them. It helped dredge up old memories.

He told her everything he knew. Dadik ran his world with fierce, uncompromising control. Everyone paid him a tax, a fee for protection he called it. If someone didn't pay they were attacked, beaten, robbed. Proof that the people needed him. Everyone knew he manufactured the attacks, but no one said anything, not anymore. They had at first, and they'd disappeared.

This was all common knowledge amongst the Browncoats, or at least common rumor. A few had tried for him, and found out the hard way just how well he was protected, up in the fortress he'd built for himself. The man who had come to the meeting with Cypher, Jacob, had had even more stories.

Kara listened to the rest in silence, drinking every so often, as Mal did. He finished speaking and reached to refill his glass yet again, but Kara stopped him, her face serious.

"He sounds like a real asshole, and I'd gladly help you force feed him a few bullets if that were possible, but what does this have to do with transporting cargo." Mal sighed and rubbed the back of his neck.

"There's a resistance forming; the people intend to overthrow their illustrious leader. I met with one of them yesterday, before we picked you up. They're organized and there's enough of them they might actually stand a chance.

"But they're going to need some guns…"

**********

An hour later everyone else had gotten up and gathered around the table. After a quick meal— where the crew of Serenity had been informed that the crew of the Demetrius had been eating nothing but algae for six months, and the protein mush so abundantly available on inter-planet trips tasted fantastic— they all settled down to listen to Mal speak. Even Jean was there, having almost punched Simon when he tried to object. Gaeta would need to wait at least another day to try to move around in his cast.

Mal retold the same story, though with fewer details and personal embellishes. He outlined the job, watched the faces of his crew as they frowned at each other. They were silent when he finished, and Mal waited. He didn't have to wait long.

"Captain," Book spoke quietly. "I understand your desire to help bring down this man. But this seems like you're putting us in a precarious place. You've said yourself, the war is over—"

"This ain't about the war, Shepherd," Mal interrupted him. "I ain't lookin' to tangle with the Alliance. This is about a man who made his fortune on the bones of his comrades and spends his days hurtin' folk who just want to live their lives."

"But won't attacking him _provoke_ the Alliance?" Wash asked, hand raised slightly like a school boy wanting to be called on.

"No," Zoe stepped forward. "They let him run his world without interference because of the help he gave them, but they don't hold close loyalty. He gets challenged, they won't back him. His only protection is what he's hired himself. It's tough, but it ain't impossible to beat."

"Hell, it ain't like it's that hard a job," Jayne spoke up. "And Cypher ain't even takin' a cut, so that's more for us."

"Cypher stepped out?" Wash asked. Mal nodded.

"He knew I'd have a personal interest, brought the job to my attention as a favor. He owed me one." Wash leaned back in his chair and looked around.

"I'd like to remind everyone that when I suggested cutting out the middleman I was told it was a bad idea."

"This ain't the same," Mal growled, starting to get frustrated. "We're still using a go between, just from the other side. Badger will contract the guns, we won't have any contact with his suppliers, and the cargo won't be traceable to us until it's in our hands. After that it's no different than any other smuggling job we've taken."

"Except that you'll be delivering it in what amounts to a war zone," Inara said from her place at the end of the table. "You'll be subjecting everyone to extreme violence."

"No." Mal shook his head. "We'll walk away." And it was killing him to do that, but he knew she was right, they couldn't afford to stay. "We drop off the cargo, we get out of there. We don't stay for the fighting. As much as I'd love to see that _shiong-mung duh kwong-run_ get his, we'll be long gone before so much as one bullet is fired." Mal looked over at Kara where she leaned against the counter.

"Way I see it," she said, speaking up as she'd said she would, "You have a chance to help take out a real motherfrakking asshole and save the day. And all you have to do is not get caught." She shrugged. "Doesn't seem that should be a big deal for professional criminals." She looked around at her people. "I think it's a solid plan. Any objections?" They'd been silent up to that point, but Sam sat up straighter now and looked to Mal.

"Anything we can do to help." Mal remembered Sam had run a resistance of his own, according to Kara. His support wasn't a surprise. Jean, Karl, and Sharon all gave their assent, and slowly Mal's crew did the same. They didn't look real happy about it, but they wouldn't give him grief either.

"Good," Mal leaned over the table, mind turning everything over as he started to hand out assignments. "Zoe, go through the maps Jacob brought, find us a good place on Dadik to land and unload. Wash, start plotting us a route to the planet, one that won't take us through or near any Alliance hotspots. Let's get to work people."

**********


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

Jayne pushed up again, taking on the extra weight he'd just added to the bar. The bench cut into his back as he pumped, and he remembered that he'd been meaning to tape up the split in the cushioning for weeks. He tuned it out now, and concentrated on his muscles as sweat started dripping down his arms.

He liked lifting weights; it was a good way to help release built up adrenaline. Not as much fun as bashing someone's head in, but more practical in close quarters. He worked without a spotter today. Jayne didn't much feel like company, not even Book, though he had an odd fondness for the old man. There was precious little privacy on the ship most of the time, and even less now that they'd almost doubled the passenger list.

He worked hard, knowing he couldn't have the cargo hold to himself much longer. Someone was bound to wander in eventually. Just one more reason to not like strangers on board. It was one thing when they took on paying customers. They, quite obviously, paid. But this charity crap Mal was getting them into, Jayne didn't like it. Not that he was going to say anything else on the subject. He didn't want to get kicked out of the dining room again. Man had to eat, after all.

"Impressive," a voice called out. Jayne set the bar back in its place and looked over to see Jean strolling in, moving stiffly.

"How's the ribs?" he asked.

"Still fractured." She leaned against the wall as Jayne sat up, crossing her arms protectively over her stomach. He looked her over as he wiped sweat off his forehead. It had seemed crass, even by his standards, to check her out while she was bleeding in his arms yesterday. But she was up and walking and well on her way to recovery, and he had no problem noticing her now.

"You sure you're supposed to be walkin' 'round on your own?" he asked, focusing back on her face. She smirked.

"I'm sure the good doctor would disapprove. So I don't really care. He seems nice enough, but gods, he can be a real pain in the ass." Jayne laughed and stood, walking over to join her.

"So what, you're just testin' your boundaries? Seein' how long it takes for him to come yell at you?" He expected her to laugh, or at least smile, tease him back. Instead she frowned, her face becoming serious.

"No, actually. I wanted to talk to you. Alone."

"Really?" Jayne asked, curious. Another time he might have made a joke about her wanting to be alone with him, or just plowed right on in and hit on her. But her face and tone was unmistakable. She was not happy with him.

"Yesterday, in the infirmary, you told Helo you found me because you heard a noise. I didn't make a noise, and you didn't seem to be looking for a person when you first walked in. You lied, and I want to know why." Jayne was at a complete loss. He certainly hadn't been expecting this conversation, and his mind was struggling to come up with a handy lie. But as he looked at her, arms still crossed, gazing back at him solemnly, he realized he didn't really want to lie. Too many lies just muddied the waters, and he didn't want to end up in the airlock again.

"The stuff in the lockers, your dead buddies' stuff. We weren't supposed to touch it. I was going to take some anyway, see what I could get for it." He expected disgust, anger, disappointment. Instead she almost looked relieved.

"That's all?" she said, and Jayne's eyebrows rose.

"What exactly did you think?" Jean shrugged off his question.

"Not sure, just…I'm used to expecting the worst."

"You don't think me stealin' from the dead is worse?" he asked, genuinely surprised. She sighed.

"While I don't appreciate your plans to take it all for yourself, fact is Starbuck shouldn't have forbid it. We can't afford a lot of sentimentality. We're going to need all the supplies we can get, it's not like her to ignore facts like that." She frowned, looking down at the floor, talking more to herself than Jayne. "She feels guilt. Dead pilot's personal items are always auctioned off, Hotdog told me that. She wouldn't have had a problem if she wasn't blaming herself for their deaths."

Jayne looked around uncomfortably. He wasn't really into talking about people's feelings. Sure he could understand why Starbuck might feel crappy for having people she was in charge of die. It wasn't like he was completely immune to the emotions of guilt and regret and a sense of responsibility. But Jayne could barely deal with that crap when it was himself feeling it. He sure as hell didn't know what to do about some girl he'd just met beating herself up, or about that girl's friend worrying over it. Jean looked up, seeming to sense his discomfort.

"Guess that's a problem for another day." She gave a small, almost sincere smile. "You wanna show me how that thing works?" she asked, motioning to his pants. For a second Jayne thought he was about to get lucky after all. Then he realized she was pointing to his gun.

"From what I seen, you're already pretty handy." She did smile this time, pushing away from the wall and heading down towards the lounge area in front of the infirmary. Jayne followed.

"I know how to use mine. But from what Sam tells me we're supposed to be trading in our weapons for ones from your world so we'll blend in better. They look similar, doesn't mean they are." She sat gingerly, only wincing a little, and looked up at him expectantly.

"Well, all right then. Better safe than sorry." He sat next to her, pulling out the pistol he had strapped to his leg. He could think of worse ways to spend an afternoon than teaching a beautiful woman how to disassemble and reassemble a gun.

**********

The rest of the day and night passed without much fanfare. Almost everyone had a job to do and those that didn't found ways to entertain themselves. No matter how busy everyone was, though, there was always one more thing to tend to.

Mal paused briefly outside Inara's shuttle. He recalled her dislike of his 'barging in' before knocking very slowly and deliberately, exaggerating the movement as much as possible. Her voice called from inside.

"Come in, Mal." He pushed past the gauzy curtains and found her sitting on her settee, pouring tea into her china cups. "Please, sit," she said, motioning to a chair. He flopped down, taking the cup she offered, more because he wanted something to do with his hands than because he wanted to be polite. She sipped hers before continuing.

"I'm sure you're wondering why I asked you to come."

"I'm hopin' it has somethin' to do with why you haven't mentioned your imminent departure to anyone. Coming on twenty four hours you'll be gone."

"I know. It's just…" she set her cup down and turned more fully to him. "I'm not getting off on Persephone." Mal closed his eyes, feeling the headache coming on already.

"We ain't goin' any closer to the core anytime soon. You want off—"

"I'm not getting off at all. Yet, I mean." She had the grace to look slightly guilty and apologetic as he very deliberately set his cup down next to hers.

"_Tee wuh duh pee-goo_," Mal swore under his breath. "You've been houndin' me every chance you get for the last—"

"Please, let me explain. I know you must be frustrated with me. I had every intention of leaving. But these people, Mal, they need help."

"And you think I won't give it to them?"

"No, that's not what I meant." She stood, taking the remaining tea and setting the dishes on another table to be emptied and washed. She fiddled with the tray for a while, a nervous type of gesture he wasn't sure he'd ever seen from her before. She was calm and cool and in control, always. _That_ was Inara. Mal stayed sitting, giving her the leading edge in the conversation, curious despite his annoyance. At length she turned back to him, seemingly calmer, her hands smoothing down her skirt absently.

"I'm sorry, this just isn't easy for me. I was ready to move on, and now…I've been thinking. These people, they're going to need to be taught things. Language, culture, history. You're not just showing someone around a new city, you're showing them an entire new world. A world they're going to have to live in, blend into." She put a hand up to stop him when Mal moved to interrupt. "I'm sure you, and your crew, could have them swearing in Chinese and getting into bar fights in no time. But this isn't just about them." She sat now, smoother and with a little of her usual edge back.

"They're going to try to find their fleet and bring them back. Those people, or their leaders, will have to decide if they want to try to sneak in, or if they want to associate directly with the Alliance. They'll have to decide where exactly they're going, which of a dozen planets or a hundred moons they want to settle on. They're going to need as much information as we can give them, and those six people will be the ones who lay out all the options."

"I'm not trying to belittle you. You have a ship to run, a job to complete. You don't have time to give them the instruction they need. Not to mention I have experience teaching, at the Companion House." Mal choked out a laugh before he could stop himself, the only sound he'd made since she began.

"I don't reckon that's the kind of instruction they need." She said nothing, just frowned at him, and Mal knew she wasn't in the mood for jokes. He tapped a finger on the chair arm.

"I don't disagree with you. I ain't lookin' to become a schoolmarm, and I don't imagine there's anyone more qualified on this boat. Maybe Book, though I think there might be some friction there, given the way they keep talking about gods in the plural sense." He stood, brushing some imaginary lint off his pants, looking deliberately uninterested. Inara looked up, a little surprised.

"That's it? No argument, no negotiations. You're just…agreeing with me?" Mal nodded, not sure how he really felt and not wanting her to know just how confused she made him. If she could sit there and act like there wasn't this…_thing_ between them, then so could he.

"You made your case. Can't argue with that." Inara stood too, the gap between them seemingly larger than it could be.

"Oh. Well, thank you, then. I'm glad we're still able to deal with each other politely in matters of business. I'll, of course, continue to pay for my shuttle as long as I stay in residence."

"Of course." Mal turned to leave, had every intention of walking right out the door without saying another word. And then just couldn't do it. She'd spoken her peace, he damn well would too.

"One more thing," he said, turning back to her. "You keep saying you're leaving. Then you keep finding excuses to stay. A good excuse is still an excuse," he qualified, seeing the argument in her eyes. "You might want to think on why you can't seem to walk away. Maybe you're not as ready to as you'd like to think. Thanks for the tea."

He left before she could utter anther word.

**********

"Neh how?" Kara guessed, butchering the pronunciation.

"Pretty sure it's '_nee hao_', but at least you got the basics right this time." Sam sat on the floor of their bunk, leaning against the bed where Kara reclined, turning over the list of phrases Inara had given them. For the last day they'd spent more time than he cared to think about starting to learn the language they called Chinese, trying to learn a few simple phrases like 'hello' before they landed on Persephone. With less than an hour before touchdown they were cramming while they waited. Impatiently, in Kara's case.

"This is crap, I'm never going to remember this, at least not fast enough to be useful." She sat up, crossing her legs and leaning her elbows on her knees. "You think Athena's got some kind of Cylon edge?" she asked. Athena had taken to the new language quickly, at least in comparison to the rest of them. They hadn't had time to learn much, but she could greet people and exchange pleasantries nearly perfectly. It was rather frustrating.

"I don't know," Sam said, remembering to answer Kara's question. "Maybe?" In truth he kind of doubted it. After all, she wasn't the only Cylon on board. Though considering he had obvious memory issues maybe it _was_ a Cylon thing and he was just defective. Not like he could really ask anyone. "It was nice of Inara to do this," he said, motioning with the cheat sheet, hoping to change the subject. Kara snorted.

"I'm still trying to wrap my head around the whole 'hookers are respected members of society' thing."

"Companions," Sam corrected, scratching a spot on his knee absently while he frowned at nothing in particular.

"Yeah, whatever." Kara hopped off the bed and grabbed her boots, shoving them on roughly. He looked up at her quizzically.

"What, you don't want to stick around for study time?" He meant it to be joking, but he just couldn't muster the energy and it came out flat. Kara sighed and shook her head.

"Sorry, Sam. Your moping is starting to depress even me." Confusion turned to anger in a flash, and Sam glared.

"Excuse me?"

"You've barely left this room, you don't talk to anyone, you've turned into a godsdamn hermit."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean. Athena's been shut up in that frakking shuttle since yesterday at breakfast, I don't see you giving her crap."

"She's there trying to hook up the FTL, trying to get us back to the fleet," Kara said, with just a hint of disgust. "I don't know what your problem is, and I don't care. I'm not in the mood to deal with this." She started to walk away but turned back when Sam scoffed.

"Not in the mood? That's rich, coming from you. You think anyone on the Demetrius was in the mood to deal with _your _crap?" He regretted it as soon as he said it, as soon as he saw the hurt flash on her face. Her actions on the Demetrius, and whether or not this whole situation was preventable was something that weighed heavily on her. He knew that better than anyone. "Kara, I—"

"Don't. We established a long time ago that I'm a bitch, right? Nothing new there. Enjoy your time alone." She marched out before Sam could say anything else, and he leaned his head back to bang it against the bed a few times. It didn't help ease the frustration.

She was right, he'd barely left the small room. He came out for meals, and had sat and talked with Jean on the cushions outside the infirmary for awhile, but the rest of the time he holed up inside the small, quiet space that had been given to them. He hadn't meant to. It wasn't normal for him to hide from an issue. He always dealt with whatever problem came up. But he didn't know how to deal with River.

And really, that's what it was. He was hiding from River. It wasn't easy to admit to himself, but it was true. The last thing he wanted was for her to take one look at him and shout 'You're a Cylon!' to everyone else in the room.

He couldn't blame Kara for being irritated with him. He hadn't just been hiding, he'd been grouchy, mostly to her. Thing was, it had felt good to hold her yesterday morning, really good. It had just felt so _right_. But things weren't OK with them. There was this huge secret just sitting there between them, and she knew nothing about it. Seeing River watching them had been a stark reminder of how precarious his situation was. Once Kara knew the truth she would hate him, and if he went around playing house in the meantime, acting like everything was OK, it would be worse. He'd be another Cylon who frakked with her head, just like Leoben. He wouldn't do that to her.

Sam was so caught up in his own head that he didn't immediately turn when he heard the door open. Figuring Kara had come back, either because she forgot something or to yell at him, he heaved a sigh and turned wearily to face her. He jumped up when he saw River standing with her back against the door.

"What are you…?" he trailed off, not sure what to say or do.

"Why are you afraid of me?" she asked, eyebrows creased like his attitude hurt her feelings. Maybe it did, Sam realized.

"I'm…not," he lied, unconvincingly, even to his own ears. River just gave him a look. There was something about that look that reminded him she was just a teenager. A hurt, partially crazy teenager, but still a teenager. He sat on the bed, looking up at her.

"I guess I'm worried that you'll tell people things about me. Like you told them about Kara." River tilted her head, considering him.

"You don't want them to know what you are?" Sam suppressed a shudder at the confirmation that his secret wasn't so secret anymore. But River smiled at him reassuringly.

"I won't tell. It's not relevant. Form doesn't equal function; cats and dogs don't always fight." Sam had avoided her for the most part, but had heard from Kara and Jean that she tended to speak nonsense a lot, so he wasn't too surprised. Oddly he found her words reassuring, strange though they were. She smiled at him, probably sensing the tension easing from him.

"Taphephobia is the fear of being buried alive." With that fun fact she turned and opened the door, leaving it open after she left. Sam remained sitting on the bed, eyebrows bunched, trying to decide if that last bit should threaten or amuse him. He was tired of being afraid, though, and the small cabin was starting to smell a little. River already knew, if she wanted to tell anyone his hiding wouldn't do any good. He stood and headed for the door, hoping he could find Kara and apologize.

**********


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

It was very quiet on the bridge. And very crowded. Wash sat in the pilot's seat, steering them towards the ground. Everyone who had been on the Demetrius pushed in close, watching out the window, anxious for a look at the new civilization they'd stumbled into. Behind them was the crew of Serenity, watching them watch the planet. Wash deliberately flew over the city on the way to the Eavesdown docks. Kara looked down at the buildings.

"Looks like Caprica," she said quietly. Gaeta, who'd insisted on hobbling up on his new crutches, agreed, his eyes sad.

The docks were different; rougher, dirtier, and more crowded. In some strange way it reminded her of New Caprica. More sun, fewer tents, same basic lifestyle. Kara thought maybe she understood now the bitterness in Mal's voice when he spoke of the Alliance and their selective help.

Wash was a good pilot and the touchdown was smooth. Kara kept gazing out the window as she listened to Mal outline the plan for the day. Mal, Zoe, Jayne, Book, and Inara would all take the salvage from the Demetrius to trade. The first three would make the deals and get the money, then the other two would take it to buy everyone clothes to blend in. Mal, Zoe, and Jayne would go off to meet their contact and Book and Inara would bring their purchases back to the ship. Once changed, they could leave the ship to explore, under the watchful eyes of Kaylee, Wash, and the others. They weren't to wander off alone or draw attention to themselves or blah blah blah...Mal's advice was well meaning but annoying, and Kara tuned him out after awhile.

It was strange seeing a functioning city again, even if the docks weren't a city in the strictest sense. For all the similarities, New Caprica had never been this developed. It was the first real community she'd seen in three years. Kara had never counted herself overly sentimental, but the sight did bring out a certain sense of nostalgia. These people, however much their government sucked, still got a chance to live. It was a hell of a lot more than the people left back in the fleet had going for them.

She glanced up when she heard Gaeta limp over, and realized with a start that the room had emptied without her noticing. Even Sam had left. He'd apologized earlier, for what he said and for how he'd been acting in general, but Kara found herself still withdrawing. Something was obviously wrong with him, and part of her wanted to be the caring spouse, there for her husband. But it was just too much. Dealing with the action, with what was going on, that she could deal with. Personal issues had to wait. If she had to deal with his pain it would open the door to hers, and she didn't have time to ponder what she was or why she'd come back.

Still, for all their problems, she would have far preferred Sam was the one standing next to her instead of Gaeta. She'd checked in on him plenty, but hadn't really talked directly to him much since they boarded. There was a lot of history with Gaeta that made it just as hard to not question herself around him. After all, hadn't she almost killed him for collaborating with Cylons? And now they both had to be asking if she was one. He made her feel guilty, and that just pissed her off.

"It's kind of surreal, isn't it?" He sat in the seat Wash had vacated, stretching his leg out straight in front of him and wincing a little. "I guess I'd never really thought what it would be like. What would already be here, waiting." He trailed off and Kara shifted, leaning a hip against the flight consol and crossing her arms.

"How bad is it? The shuttle," she clarified at his confused look.

"I didn't realize you were paying attention." The barb was mild but pointed, and Kara shot him a warning look.

"I'm not blind. A moron could tell Athena and Helo aren't exactly bubbling with optimism anymore." Gaeta sighed.

"The technology is fundamentally compatible. FTL tech can affect their ships the same as ours. The trouble is trying to connect the hardware we have now. The hookups aren't the same, the fuels are different, the amount of electricity needed is different. I think they're talking it over now, trying to figure out what spare parts or wires to look for when they go out. "

"We have less than a week until we're supposed to rendezvous with Galactica. Are we going to make it?" He met her eyes, his face dark.

"If there's anyone who could do it it's them...but I don't think we will. It's going to take more than a week, a lot more, to make FTL work on these ships." Kara nodded, the answer he gave meeting her expectations.

"That's just frakking great," she said, more to herself than to him.

"I had a lot of time to think the last couple of days. Not much else to do. I was the primary navigator of Galactica, I laid out most of our trajectories based on what little information we had about Earth's location. It may not happen in time for the rendezvous, but FTL is still our best bet. They get it up and running, I'm pretty sure I can narrow our search pattern when we go looking. It's not much, but it's something." Kara rubbed her forehead tiredly. There was no easy answer, no perfect solution. They were well and truly frakked and they just didn't want to admit it.

"OK," she said out loud, because he expected it.

"You know," he said, voice deliberately light, "It could be worse."

"How?" Kara asked, disbelievingly. He managed a grin, tipping back in the chair.

"We could have Tigh and his flask in charge." She let out a bark of laughter and shook her head. Taking one last look out the window, she headed for the door, pausing to look back at him.

"You coming?" He shook his head, swiveling the chair to get a better view.

"I think I'll stay here for awhile. It's nice. Quiet. Good view." Kara leaned against the doorway.

"You haven't figured out how to get down the stairs yet, have you?"

"Frak off. Sir," he added as an afterthought.

"Let me know if you need Sam to carry you back to bed," she called over her shoulder, walking away before she could hear his response.

She found Sam in the kitchen, Simon and Jean at the table, the three talking amiably. Sam was behind the counter, his hands busy, and when Kara got close enough she realized he'd found some actual food and was in the process of making lunch for everyone. She scoffed loudly, drawing their attention to her.

"You're cooking now? Are you trying to kill everyone?" She pulled out a chair and spun it around, straddling it and leaning her elbows on the back as she watched Sam.

"I don't know what you're talking about," he sniffed, eyes narrowing dangerously. This only encouraged Kara, who was happy to see he hadn't retreated to their bunk after they landed. Maybe he really was out of his funk, like he'd promised.

"You see, Doc," she said, enjoying herself. "Sam has this thing where he likes to cook, but he seriously sucks at it. It's rather tragic, actually. His cooking's even been known to make people sick—"

"OK," Sam broke in, pointing at her with the knife he was using, "That was one time, and—"

"Twice," Jean joined in, eyes bright. She held up two fingers and wiggled them around, making Kara and Simon laugh as Sam glared.

"Once," he insisted. "Nobody could ever prove that thing with Duck was caused by the soup."

"All I'm saying," Kara said as she turned to fully face Simon, "Is that you might want to make sure your infirmary is stocked and ready to go."

"I'm cutting up canned fruit to mix together, Kara. What exactly do you think I'm going to do?" Sam, exasperated, asked. Kara shrugged.

"I'm sure you'll find a way." She smiled coyly at him, saw him suppress a grin of his own, and knew they were OK, at least for now.

"What about you?" Jean asked Simon. "Do you cook, clean, do anything on this boat besides stick people back together?"

"Uh, I can make pasta, when we have any. Which is pretty much never. And Kaylee has been trying to teach me a little about engines. They're, uh…not really my thing." Kara snorted.

"Maybe if you paid more attention to the engine instead of the mechanic..." she trailed off as Simon turned pink.

"I don't...it's not...I'm...is it that obvious?"

"Only to people who have eyes," Jean teased, accepting the glass Sam handed her as he came around the table. He set some in front of Kara and Simon as well, then sat down too, choosing a seat next to Kara. They passed the bowl of fruit around and continued to tease the Doc. By the time Gaeta hobbled in and pulled out a chair they were all laughing. There wasn't much to laugh at anymore, and Kara enjoyed letting go and just having a tiny bit of fun for five frakking minutes. Even if they all knew it couldn't last.

**********

After selling of the cargo, and sending Inara and Book off for supplies, Mal found himself retreading a familiar path. With Zoe and Jayne close at his back he followed Badger's men down the maze of dark hallways that lead to his lair, wondering just how hard Badger was going to make this. He was a huge pain in the ass and Mal couldn't stand him, but as far as crooks went he was one of the more reliable ones. Most of the time. Mal just hoped he was in a good mood.

"Well, well, look who's come callin'!" Badger exclaimed as they were finally ushered into his office. "It's the mighty Malcolm Reynolds."

Perhaps a good mood had been too much to hope for.

"Badger, always a pleasure."

"That a fact? I seem to recall a certain reluctance to associate with my enterprise the last time you were on planet."

"And I seem to recall a certain reluctance to pay us for a job the time before that. But it all worked out, in the end, for everyone. So why don't we leave the past in the past and get to the matter at hand. I have a job I need done, and I think you'll have the contacts to accomplish it." Badger's eyebrows near disappeared up under his hat.

"_You've _got a job for _me_? Now, isn't this a twist." He crossed his arms, eyes shrewd, motioned for Mal to continue.

"I have somethin' I need, and I need someone else to do the acquirin'. I don't much care where it comes from just so long as I get it in a timely manner with all the merchandise intact and in working order."

"What type of merchandise?" Mal motioned for Jayne who flung a folded piece of paper at Badger. They watched in silence as he read through the list they'd put together with Jacob, of all the weapons the rebellion would need and could afford with the money they'd accumulated.

"This is quite a shoppin' list. I find myself curious as to why you need such toys." Mal smirked a little and shook his head.

"You're a businessman, Badger. You know better than to ask too many questions." Badger stood and walked around his desk.

"I am a businessman. And as such I have a business to protect. You're a loose cannon, Captain, one with a well known grudge. I ain't interested in armin' you if you're plannin' on some gorram crusade on behalf of your fellow browncoats."

"This ain't about the war," Mal said, skirting the truth. "I have no interest in provoking the Alliance or bringing trouble to you and yours. Can you make the deal or do I need to go elsewhere? As I said, we're on a schedule."

For some time Badger considered, looking from the paper to Mal to Zoe and back to the list again, muttering under his breath. Finally he motioned for one of his men and the two spoke in low tones, their backs turned for privacy. Eventually he returned to stand in front of Mal.

"What's my cut?"

The rest was easy, hashing over pricing and percentages, procedures for contact and pick up, all standard business. Badger would let them know before the end of the day when they could expect the cargo.

"You think he'll cause us problems?" Zoe asked when they walked back out into the light. Mal glanced around, taking in the mob of people, the smattering of feds throughout.

"He did seem mighty curious," he said as they started off back towards the ship, "But no more than I'd expect under the circumstances. It is an unusual request from us, and the type of cargo will make the whole thing extra delicate. But he wants the money. It's a good take for him."

"Damn near better take for him than us," Jayne grumbled, still tetchy about the split they'd agreed on.

"Still within reason," Mal answered, sparing him a glance as they walked past what was being advertized as the best congee in the 'Verse, but which more closely resembled lumpy glue mixed with horse piss. Smelled like it too, and they all held their breaths until they were well past the rundown stand. When it was safe to inhale again Mal turned back to Jayne.

"We agreed to bump up his cut because he's willing to push through a sale today or tomorrow. Ain't no one else around can move that quickly. Badger may be a wart on the hide of humanity, but he's a wart who knows who to talk to. So we give the man what he wants, _dong ma_?" Jayne grumbled a bit more before his mood suddenly shifted.

"Least the day's not a total loss. Me and Jean are gonna take care of gettin' all them newbies some proper guns later on." He smiled a bit when he said it, and puffed his chest up all proud like. Mal and Zoe looked at each other behind his back as Jayne walked ahead.

"You don't think—"

"No," Mal cut her off before she could finish. "I mean, it's Jayne, right?"

"Right," Zoe agreed uncertainly. Jayne liked women certainly, but he didn't get all excited about spending the afternoon clothed in a public place with one. Mal wasn't certain he was ready for a Jayne with a crush. With one last heavy look at Zoe, they left the subject and Badger's territory in the dust.

**********

Kara took her time adjusting the buckle on her belt, shifting everything around, trying to settle it all in a comfortable position. Clothes were clothes, but these were cut closer than she was used to. Still, Inara had done a good job picking styles and sizes. Knowing the companion's taste in clothing Kara had been a little weary of what she'd bring back. But the dull olive green pants almost matched her military fatigues, and the calf high boots they tucked into were sturdy and practical. The scooped neck on her black shirt was different, but it didn't dip low enough to be a problem.

Sam's clothes were very similar, though cut differently. His black shirt was a button down, with long sleeves he rolled to the elbow She looked over as he finished tying his boots and stood. She couldn't help a small laugh.

"Well, aren't we a pair." Sam grinned.

"At least she didn't bring us back dresses."

"I still think you'd look cute in a skirt," she teased, and Sam practically stuck out his tongue as he walked past her and led the way out the door and towards the cargo bay.

The rest of their group assembled as they finished dressing, all in variations of the same type of clothing; simple, functional, and drab enough to not stand out in a crowed. Gaeta was last, having needed help changing with his bad leg. Kara realized they hadn't worked out room assignments for Jean or Gaeta yet, who had still been sleeping in the infirmary at the insistence of Simon, and she wasn't sure where either had gotten ready. She made a mental note to talk to Mal about better accommodations for them later.

Having agreed earlier to meet the others at some food stand they all liked, the group headed out and down the ramp, Simon and River the only ones staying behind to watch over the ship.

As they weaved through the crowed, Kara struggled to take it all in. The dust, the smells in the air, the harsh sunlight unfiltered by a single cloud, the noise an unending roar as people shouted to each other either out of anger or necessity. Galactica had its own climate, its own environment. It had its own smells and noise, but it was nothing like this. Even New Caprica hadn't been like this. It really was a whole new world.

They started to move past the docks, into a more settled area. Shops and restaurants and cramped apartments were crowded in so close and high Kara could barely see the sky when she looked straight up. Kaylee led the way, almost skipping with energy and excitement, pushing through the crowd expertly and with little resistance considering her diminutive size.

"We don't always get to spend a lot of time off ship when we're on planet," Wash explained as she stopped momentarily to coo over some gilded trinket in the window of a shop. As they stood waiting for Inara to drag Kaylee away something caught Kara's eye. Wandering over to the building across the street, she stood staring at the poster tacked to the wall. She kept staring at it until she heard Sam come up behind her.

"What the frak?" he asked as he too read what it said. They looked at each other, then turned together and looked at Wash as he walked over. Kara motioned wordlessly to the wanted poster, the one with Simon and River's faces on it, the one that proclaimed them fugitives and offered what she was pretty sure was a substantial reward.

Wash's face went uncomfortable, and he rubbed the back of his neck as he darted a few looks to either side, making sure they weren't being watched. Seeing nothing, he quickly grabbed them and pulled them further from the incriminating document.

"Look, it's Simon's business to tell you, not mine. Well, or maybe Mal's. But either way, it's really, really not my place. They're not dangerous. They didn't do anything wrong, the Alliance just...just promise me you're not going to say anything, OK? At least until you talk to the Captain."

"Take it easy," Helo soothed, the others having seen the poster as well. "We're not going to say anything, right?" He looked around and Kara nodded her assent. She'd heard enough about the Alliance in the past few days to know them saying something didn't make it true. Still, it was confirmation of something Kara had been assuming all along. They were all still keeping certain secrets from each other.

As they started off again, slightly more subdued now, even Kaylee, Kara wondered how long they could go before the secrets started to bite them all in the ass.

**********


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

Jayne wasn't excited to see Jean, he told himself, he was excited to get to go buy guns. It was a favorite activity of his, one he didn't get to participate in a whole lot. Well, technically he preferred stealing them or taking them off people he killed, but buying was almost as good seeing as he usually got to scare the seller into knocking off half the price, and that was always a good time.

So when he found himself looking out over the crowd looking for her it was only because he was impatient to get to the good stuff. Jayne didn't miss people period, and he certainly didn't miss them when he'd only been gone for a couple hours.

They were right on schedule, pushing their way through the crowd, new clothes making them look just like everyone else, but he could still see her cropped red hair. They looked a little grouchy maybe, but Jayne couldn't really fault them for it, seeing as they were in kind of a crappy part of town. But Ah Fong's _char siu_ was well worth putting up with the terrible atmosphere. Best damn pork around, and Jayne didn't get near enough meat for his tastes on the long trips Serenity tended to take between planet stops.

He nodded to her as the group walked up to where everyone waited, standing in the shade out front of the building where the small restaurant was housed.

"'ere" Jayne said, mouth full, handing her a strip. She held it in her hand for a moment, juice and grease soaking through the paper wrapper the old man used as plates.

"You know, I can't remember the last time I had genuine meat." She took a bite and closed her eyes, throat humming in appreciation.

"Good, huh?" Jayne grinned. Jean held up a hand, eyes still closed.

"I need a minute." She took another bite. Her obvious enjoyment gave Jayne an odd sense of accomplishment. He'd just bought her a hunk of barbeque, no need to make a big deal, he told himself.

"So, are we all enjoying ourselves?" Mal asked, reminding Jayne there were actually other people still around. The rest were eating as well, each appearing to enjoy it as much as Jean. Inara, he noticed, was giving him a strange look. He didn't like it so he glared and turned his back.

"Food doesn't suck," Kara said, wiping the corner of her mouth with her thumb. "Strange décor, though." She tipped her head to the side subtly, and Jayne and Mal both turned at the same time to look at the wanted poster with some familiar faces that was tacked to Ah Fong's window.

"Well," Mal cleared his throat, "Neighborhood like this, you're like to get all kinds of folk coming and going. Alliance likes to poke its nose in, make sure those that call this place home know who's in charge. Tell all kind of stories to do so." He rolled up his trash and tossed the ball towards the full garbage can, adding his to the mound of overflowing paper spilling onto the dirt. Kara gave a wry smile.

"Think you might want to tell one of those stories later?"

"I might. I might not. We'll see how the day goes." Their tone was light, almost joking, for the sake of those passing by who might take too much notice in other people's business. Their eyes, however, were anything but light.

"Yeah, I guess we'll see." Kara didn't sound happy, but she let the subject drop. Jayne turned back to Jean, curious what she thought of the whole exchange. She chewed her food thoughtfully and raised her eyebrows, as if she expected him to explain. He just shrugged it off, hoping the wordless exchange would be enough for her. He didn't really want to get into the whole Tam thing.

They stood together as everyone paired off and made plans for the day. There was time to kill while they waited for Badger, a situation that didn't happen very often, and almost everyone had things they wanted to do while on Persephone.

Wasn't long before he and Jean found themselves wandering off towards Dellwood's place. Kara had wanted to come, but too many people would attract attention, and they all seemed to trust Jean to get them what they needed. Dellwood was a shady enough character to sell them what they needed without pesky background checks. Jayne liked buying from him, if only because he was kind of a pushover for a gun runner, and it would be easy enough to bargain him down. It was too bad he only dealt in small arms. If he'd had anything like what they needed for the job they could have bought the whole list for a lot less and avoided having to pay Badger. But for now Jayne comforted himself with thoughts of colorful price negotiation techniques.

"So," Jean interrupted his thoughts. "What's the story of Jayne Cobb?" She said it all casual like, just walking down the street making conversation. But Jayne couldn't remember the last time anyone had cared, or dared, to ask him about himself, and it took a moment to collect his wits.

"Not much to tell, I guess. Left home early, haven't been back. But I write, to my mom. She's a good woman." Jean smiled at him encouragingly when he paused, not sure if he was supposed to keep talking.

"How'd you end up on Serenity. Did you fight with Mal in the war?"

"Hell no," Jayne scoffed. "Not that there's anything wrong with that," he added quickly, remembering she _had_ fought in a war, and not by choice. "Just didn't feel the need to take sides is all. I do what I do, don't matter who's in charge." Jean laughed.

They just kept talking like that, the whole way there. Jayne didn't think he'd said so much in a row since he was a kid. He even asked her about herself, something that definitely hadn't happened in a while. But it was good, he had to admit. Jean just seemed to get him. That was a nice change.

**********

Sam wasn't surprised that he and Kara ended up in a bar. He was a little when Shepherd Book followed them.

"Just keeping an eye on my flock," he said genially, a gentle smile on his face. Kara scoffed and moved past them to the bar. Gaeta limped over to a corner table and they followed, helping him settle and setting his crutches off to the side, out of the walkway. Sam kept an eye on Kara as she spoke to the bartender.

"She certainly has a...forceful personality" Book said, following Sam's gaze, his voice raised just loud enough to be heard over the din. Sam smiled a little, not knowing what else to do.

"That's one way of putting," he said finally, as Kara started back over to them, a tray of glasses balanced expertly in her hand.

"What are we drinking?" Sam asked when she set the tray on the table.

"No idea." She handed a glass off to Gaeta, then Sam, even offered one to Book, who politely declined until she told him she'd ordered him water.

"Aren't you on painkillers?" Sam asked Gaeta, eyeing his drink with concern. The other man just glared, and Sam shrugged. Kara flopped down in the last remaining chair and rolled her shoulders as she picked up her glass.

"So, what are we drinking to boys?" They all considered a moment, and Gaeta raised his glass.

"To Earth, wherever the frak it is." Sam raised his next.

"To never giving up hope," he said, looking at Kara, the woman he loved, the woman he'd almost lost. She stared back, eyes intense.

"To making new friends," was Book's contributions. They all looked to Kara.

"To food that isn't green." They all laughed, and drank. And then they started a whole new round, filling their glasses again and again.

"To almost green grass beneath our feet."

"To booze not distilled by bored mechanics."

"To showers that are at least two degrees hotter."

"To not having to wear the same thing for the seven hundred and fiftieth day in a row."

"To surviving one hell of a crash."

"To Hotdog." Kara's final toast had them all freezing. "And Mathias, and Pike, and everyone else on that frakking ship who should be drinking with us right now. To everyone who got left behind." They were slower to drink, and sat quietly when they were done and their glasses were finally empty. The mood had shifted so fast they were still trying to catch up.

And just when Sam thought he maybe had a handle on it, it changed again. Kara leaned over to him, so fast he barely saw her move, grabbed his head, and pulled him into a deep kiss. Startled, he looked out of the corner of his eye to Gaeta, looking confused and maybe a little bemused, and Book, tactfully averting his eyes as Kara started to use her tongue. Wolf whistles sounded, letting Sam know their embrace was not going unnoticed throughout the bar. With Mal's warning to not draw attention to themselves ringing in his ear, Sam brought his hands up to Kara's face and gently moved her away.

"Kara, what...?" He couldn't even finish the question. She gave him a half smile.

"Lighten up, Sam. It's only the end of the world." He didn't smile back, the question still on his face, but Kara's smile didn't lessen at all. "Your crap, my crap, it's all just bullshit. I'm sick of it. We're alive, relatively speaking, and that's just frakking good enough for me." She tried to lean in again, but Sam hesitated. Her eyes took on an edge when he held back, something almost pleading, something almost hurt, something no one else but Sam would even be able to see. It wasn't really about them, he realized. It was her, needing to feel alive and free and in control. And he was never very good at denying her what she needed.

He kissed her once, lightly, then rested his forehead against hers, still holding her face gently. Kara locked eyes with him, smiling again. Gaeta cleared his throat.

"So, Shepherd, what was it like, living in a monastery?"

They were still there hours later when Jayne showed up, Jean trailing behind. The new guns were stored safely on Serenity, where they could later be distributed without curios, prying eyes nearby. Kara pouted a bit at having to wait, but by then everyone was a little tipsy, except for Book of course, and the moment passed quickly. An extra table was pulled up, and Jayne brought out a strange deck of cards. Sam thought briefly of Helo and Athena, off with Wash and Kaylee, still working on the shuttle that by now everyone knew was a bust. He knew they were too worried about Hera to focus on much else, but he wished they could be here. Release was necessary in stressful situations. It's why the resistance had built a pyramid court at the base camp on Caprica. If you didn't take a break from the worry and stress and 'bullshit', as Kara had so eloquently put it, you lost track of why you were still fighting.

So they laughed and drank and played cards, and for about an hour everything was surprisingly great. That didn't last.

Sam really wasn't sure how it started. And he tried to remember, he really did, when Mal asked him later. But it was just a blur. One minute they were all taking a break from cards, wandering around to get a new drink or use the pit that tried to masquerade as a latrine. The next, there was a loud crashing noise and Kara was going through a table with a large drunk man on top of her. Sam had every confidence his wife was capable of beating the crap out of him herself, but he was still angry, and there were other patrons surging around them in a somewhat threatening manner. So he somehow ended up in a fistfight of his own, either trying to defend Kara or help her, the details were all a little fuzzy.

Once he joined in Jean joined in, which lead to Jayne joining in, and by that time everyone in the whole damn place seemed to be hitting someone else for some reason or another. Sam was pretty sure he even saw Gaeta beam someone with a crutch.

While there had been something kind of fun about a good old fashion bar brawl, less fun was sitting in a row of chairs on board Serenity later, with Mal and Zoe frowning down at them. Sam felt like a child again, and mom and dad were not happy.

"What do you have to say for yourselves?" Mal glared down the line as he spoke. Next to Sam, Kara shifted uncomfortably.

"They started it," she said under her breath.

"What was that?" Mal zeroed in on her.

"I said, they started it. _Sir_." Her tone was mocking, defiance seeping over any regret she might feel. Mal crossed his arms and held her gaze.

"I respect that you're a Captain," he said quietly. "You're probably used to giving orders. But I thought I made it very clear that as long as you're on my boat you do what I say, when I say it. This ain't about just you. I got a whole crew depends on me for their lively hood, who are stickin' their necks out to help you. Speakin' of which." He rounded on Jayne. "Did you get dumber since yesterday? Of all the _yu bun duh_ things you've done, gettin' into a knock down fight with a bunch of outerworlders ranks pretty high up there. What would've happened if the law had shown up before we got you out of there, huh? They have no records, no ID. If they'd gotten scanned we'd all be arrested by now."

"_Ee-chee shung-hoo-shee_," Inara broke in, her voice soothing. "I'm sure nobody meant to cause trouble, Mal. It was a mistake, that's all." Mal sighed tiredly.

"Wash scanned through the Alliance reports. There were so many people involved no one's bein' singled out, so we should be safe. Small favors. Everyone turn in for the night, I don't want to hear anymore. I'm sure we'll all be in a better mood in the mornin'." They all got up to leave, moving stiffly from both the physical and emotional beatings, Mal hurrying towards the bridge.

"Badger called," he said from the top of the steps. "Jayne, Kara, I want you up and ready to go to the meet by eight hundred tomorrow mornin'."

"Me?" Kara asked, frowning at him.

"Yes, you. And I don't care how hungover you are, I want you bright eyed and bushy tailed. You're comin' to observe, learn how we do things 'round here. You're goin' to watch and nothin' else, _dong ma_?" For a moment it looked like Kara might try to hit him, or curse at him. But instead she gave a sloppy, sarcastic salute, and walked out the opposite door without saying a thing. Sam followed wearily.

When he slid the door to their room shut, and Kara whirled on him, he expected a lot of things, most of them beginning and ending with her being pissed off and rude. What he didn't expect was for her to burst into giggles. She immediately slapped a hand over her mouth, like she was trying to stop herself but just couldn't.

"Something funny?" She giggled again.

"I feel like I'm at the Academy again." Sam smiled at her as she dissolved into full blown laughter, and then she was on him. Her mouth was hot on his, hands tangled in his hair, dragging him down to her.

"So this is what you did at the Academy?" he asked against her mouth. She laughed and bit him.

"All the time." She yanked up on his shirt and he let her drag it over his head. He should stop it, he knew. He had resolved to keep a certain amount of distance as long as his secret remained hidden. But his resolve was no match for a horny Kara Thrace, who was currently occupying herself with removing his pants. He pulled her up and kissed her hard, and together they sank down onto the bunk.

**********

Mal knocked on the door to the warehouse and stepped back to wait. Zoe, Jayne, and Kara stood at his back, all alert and watchful. Double crosses were always a threat when dealing with criminals, even ones you'd worked with before. The small hatch near the top of the door slide open and a pair of eyes looked him up and down briefly before it slammed shut again. Almost immediately the door opened. The four filed in orderly, still watchful and ready.

"Who's this?" Badger called from the middle of the room, motioning to Kara. He stood with some of his men and a dozen crates at his back.

"New recruit," was all Mal sad. Badger frowned.

"I don't like surprises and I don't like people I don't know gettin' in my business."

"She's been with us awhile. I didn't mention her earlier 'cause I didn't decide to bring her until last night. Ain't nothin' in our agreement that limits who I bring, and considerin' you and your men still outnumber us I don't see any reason for you to be makin' a fuss. You want your cut or not?" Badger straightened his collar and sniffed, but motioned for his men to open the crates.

"You're lucky you came when you did. One of my suppliers was lookin' to liquidate."

"Problems with the product?" Mal said, immediately on alert. Badger shook his head.

"Nah, poor bastard got his little missus in a family way. Thinks the life of an arms dealer is a bit too rough with a tyke runnin' 'round. Idiot." Jayne, Zoe and Kara each started going through the open crates, checking the guns, pulling parts off and putting them back together. After he got nods from each he turned to Badger and pulled a bag of coins from under his jacket.

"The second half of the payment to the seller, plus your commission." Badger snatched the sack and threw it to one of his men. The man poured it out on a table with a scale and quickly counted what was there. After getting the nod Badger turned back to Mal.

"Well then, it looks like we have a deal. Cappy, get over here!" A little runt of a kid scrambled out into the open at Badger's bellow. Mal guessed him to be fourteen, maybe fifteen. "Cappy here drives a heavy mover down at the docks. Feds are used to seein' him around, doin' legitimate business. Shouldn't give you any trouble. All the same, there's a work order registered for the movement of spare engine parts, which the crates are labeled as. Won't hold up to a full read, but it should get you past a dock scan should you be foolish enough to attract Alliance attention."

"I don't foresee that bein' a problem," Mal assured him, watching as he and Badger's people each helped load the crates on Cappy's heavy mover. The large cargo door of the warehouse slid open, and Mal walked Badger over to the opening. He squinted in the morning sunlight, and Badger pulled out a pair of dark tinted glasses to avoid the same fate. They shook hands, more a standard ritual than anything either man wanted to do, and Mal turned as the heavy mover rolled out, his men on the back with the cargo. It slowed long enough for Mal to swing up with the help of Jayne, and then they were off, moving quickly towards the ship.

"Well, what did you think?" he called to Kara, who was also squinting in the brightness. He'd been pissed as hell at her last night, but they'd lucked out and avoided trouble with the law, and Mal certainly couldn't hold any high ground when it came to bar fights. She'd kept a cool head since they left the ship earlier, and Mal genuinely wanted to hear her thoughts.

"I don't like him," she said finally.

"Good," Mal agreed. "Then you've got some standards."

"There's something familiar about him," she said, almost to herself. At Mal's questioning gaze she shrugged. "I guess slime is slime, no matter what part of the galaxy it's oozing through. I'm sure I've met men just like that back on Caprica." Mal smiled. She certainly had Badger's number.

The rest of the crew was waiting in Serenity's hold, and together they were able to unload all the crates quickly. Whether it was Badger's plan or the feds just didn't care, there hadn't been any trouble on the way over. After the crates were off the heavy mover, Mal pulled the kid off to the side and slipped a few extra coins in his pocket, cautioning him not to let Badger know. He shook his head as Cappy drove his loader off the ship and down the road. Kid was too young to be mixing with men like Badger, but that was the way of the world.

They closed the ship up and went about securing the crates to keep them from moving about during transpo. They were too big to fit into the smuggling hatches. Later, when they were out in deep space, they would unload everything, catalog it, and store all the weaponry in the hatches. For now, thought, it was better to act like they had nothing to hide.

Wash had gone up to begin launch prep while they worked. He'd only been gone five minutes when his voice came urgently over the com system.

"Mal, you'd better get up here." Mal knew that tone, and knew Wash didn't use it lightly. He sprinted up, footsteps echoing behind him as some of the others followed. He wasn't even all the way to the bridge when he called out.

"Problems?"

"I'll say. I had Alliance freqs flagged. Someone just tipped them off about an illegal sale going down."

"_Ching-wah tsao duh liou mahng_," Mal hissed. "Tell me they don't have details."

"They don't have details. But we've got maybe five minutes before they organize and shut down all departures for a search. And that's being optimistic."

"Then let's get us the hell out of here now."

"Who do you think it was?" Zoe asked, gripping the back of Wash's chair tightly.

"If it was Badger he would have given them all the info he had. Someone else caught wind of this. A business rival maybe? Hell, someone could have bribed that damn kid into spilling something, he looked hungry enough."

The next few minutes were tense, Wash pushing through the launch sequences as fast as he safely could, Zoe working to scramble their info at his direction. They wouldn't leave unnoticed, that didn't mean they had to leave a trail to follow. Hopefully they wouldn't get more than they model of ship they were in.

It seemed like everyone on board held their breath as they shot into the sky. Wash, watching radar closely, called out that there was an Alliance cruiser bordering the planet, already shifting their course to intercept. But Alliance cruisers were not known for speed, and Wash and Kaylee had fine tuned Serenity to give them exactly what they needed, when they needed it.

And when they were able to speed off before anyone could lock onto their position or tags, Serenity herself seemed to exhale.

**********


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

The sun was bright and shinning, the breeze cool. Kara stood outside and let it wash over her. There'd been a lot of running around when they first landed in this new world, no time to really just enjoy such a simple thing as wind. But there was plenty of time now.

"It's too hot," Mal had said. The Alliance hadn't gotten who they were, of that they were certain, but it was likely they knew it had been a Firefly class ship. They needed to drop off the radar for awhile, let things cool down. If Dadik had any Alliance connections left and got wind a Firefly had taken off with illegal merchandise, and days later a Firefly landed on his planet, he could cause all kinds of trouble before they could get the cargo where it needed to go.

So now they were parked on some random planet, out in the middle of nowhere, away from town or people of any kind. Just the lone ship, sitting in the grass.

On the one hand, it really was a beautiful planet. Lots of high prairie grass and hills. On the other, Kara wanted to frakking _move_. There wasn't anything to be done, other than the day to day chores of maintaining a ship, and it wasn't nearly enough. They'd barely seen Athena in days, and even Helo was getting worried. They had three days until they were due for rendezvous with Galactica. Gaeta had already calculated the distance using a combination of star charts from Serenity and Demetrius, and there was no way to reach it at sublight speeds in time. There wouldn't have been even if they'd taken off immediately upon boarding Serenity.

Helo was starting to deal with the realization they wouldn't get back to Galactica in the next three days. He spent a lot of time reassuring himself that Hera would be safe and cared for on Galactica until they did find a way. He was horribly depressed, but he was dealing. Athena was not. She had made it her one goal in life to hook FTL into the shuttles systems on time, and no one could convince her she wouldn't succeed.

Kaylee, meanwhile, had already started working with Gaeta on a design based on their FTL that would be compatible with the new systems. Building an FTL from scratch would be extraordinarily difficult, but Kaylee had a way with machines and said she had a good handle on the concept. Gaeta would help coach her on the specifics, and eventually they'd get it built. But not in three days. Not in three weeks, probably not even in three months.

Kara turned when she heard footsteps behind her, dragging herself away from her own depressing thoughts. River glided past her, carrying a wrench in her outstretched hands, and curious, Kara followed her down the ramp and into the tall grass. She stopped maybe twenty yards from the ship, and knelt down on the ground. Kara crossed her arms as River cleared a patch of grass and dug her hands into the dirt. She cleared a small hole, then picked up the wrench again and placed it sticking up in the hole, filling dirt back in around it.

"What are you doing?" Kara asked. River didn't look up when she replied.

"I'm planting it so it'll grow. It needs sunlight." Kara just nodded.

"Right," she said, making a mental note to tell Kaylee where her wrench was the next time she saw her. Looking back towards the ship, she checked to see if anyone else was coming out. Seeing no one, she sat down beside the other girl.

"How did you know about what happened to me," she asked quietly. River never paused in her work, rearranging the grass around the embedded tool.

"You told me," was the simple answer.

"No I didn't." River did look up then, confused.

"Oh," was all she said, then began patting the grass down again. Kara struggled to keep her frustration in check.

"Do you know _what_ happened to me?"

"You went away. Then you came back."

"But where did I _go_?"

"To the stars," she spoke to the grass, laying down on her side and curling up like a cat. Kara sighed and laid back, more angry at herself for thinking it could be that easy than angry at River. She looked up at the blue sky and longed to be back in the cold black if it meant she would be in a viper _doing_ something. There was too much time to think, here on this planet. Too much time to sit and watch the minutes trickle away.

She smiled a bit when she thought of how she'd been trying to fill her time. Sam was probably exhausted, but he always managed to rise to the occasion when she decided to jump him, which had been very frequently the last few days. Some of the others (Gaeta, now rooming with Book) had complained about the noise. Jean, off with Inara in her shuttle and away from the rest of them, just smirked and told him to be thankful he hadn't been in the next tent over during the honeymoon on New Caprica. Kara ignored them both.

It wasn't hard to ignore Jean, she'd made herself scarce lately as well. There was no concern about her the way there was about Athena, though. Because whenever she disappeared, Jayne tended to disappear too. It was a pattern that had not gone unnoticed in the Thrace-Ander's bunk, and one that seemed to make Sam rather amusingly uncomfortable. But whenever asked Jean would be vague and change the subject, eyes sparking with mischief. No, Kara wasn't worried about her at all.

It wasn't until the sun was no longer shining in her eyes that she realized someone else had joined them. She didn't need to squint to know who it was; only Helo would have a silhouette that big.

"Is she sleeping?" Kara looked over at River, who's cheek was pressed into the ground, eyes closed.

"I'm communing with the beasts," she said dreamily. Kara looked back up at her friend.

"Guess not." She sat up again as Helo sat next to her, picking at the grass and twirling the blades between his fingers. Kara waited silently.

"How am I supposed to be OK with the idea I might never see my daughter again," he asked quietly. It wasn't a question that had an answer.

"I don't think you _are_ supposed to be," she said finally. "There's no words that can make that kind of hurt go away. All you can do is keep hoping and keep trying." She put a hand awkwardly on his shoulder. "None of us are going to stop trying to get back. You know that, right?"

"Yeah," he said, nodding. "I know."

"I'm sorry that you got dragged into this_"

"No," Helo shook his head. "I wanted to come, Kara. I believed you, _in_ you. I still do." Kara shook her head but couldn't get the words out. She didn't want that from him. Didn't want blind faith that she was worth following. He was one of her oldest friends, he of all people should know that she was a screw up.

They were saved from any further uncomfortable topics when River abruptly sat up. She scanned the horizon intently, and Helo and Kara both looked at her wearily. They stood as River broke into a grin and laughed. Kara was about to ask her what was funny when she saw the grass a few yards away start to sway dangerously. It was waist high, more than tall enough to hide a person crouched down. She and Helo drew weapons at the same time, and each grabbed one of River's arms as they began to back up slowly, keeping a close eye on the rustling grass. Kara raised her gun as whatever it was came closer. River just kept smiling. It was right on the edge of the clearing, and Kara's heart pounded adrenaline through her body, sharpening her senses. She was ready, body tense, and at last the movement stopped and a shape sprang suddenly from the brush.

Kara's finger hesitated on the trigger just long enough to see, and she and Helo stood dumbfounded as a large cat trotted up to River and wound its way through her legs. They each stepped back, eyeing the feline critically. River bent over so her face was almost touching the ground (how did she _do_ that) and nuzzled the top of the cat's head with her cheek. They could hear it purring loudly.

"Where did that come from?" It was Helo who finally managed to find his voice first.

"He wanted a friend," was River's explanation as she sat so the cat could crawl on her lap. Helo looked at Kara.

"Should we...?"

"Get Simon." Kara stayed with River as Helo ran into the ship. The cat seemed happy enough, but it was big, and it had to be wild, and it had claws and teeth and other things that made Kara keep her gun in hand. No violence had taken place when Helo and Simon came rushing back.

"River? What are you doing?" He knelt down next to her.

"Kipsky wanted to play," she smiled at him. Simon's face fell.

"Oh, River. That's not Kipsky. Kipsky died, when you were ten. Don't you remember, _mei mei_?" For a moment River just looked at him, confused. Then she looked down at the cat in her lap. Her face suddenly crumpled as if the memory had returned suddenly, and she pushed the cat away as she whimpered and stood up. The cat ran off, back into the grass without a backwards glance. River stood on the ramp, hands pressed to her ears like she was trying to block all sound out, rocking and crying while Simon tried to sooth her. Kara finally holstered her gun.

"Shhh," Simon whispered into her ear as he finally just pulled her in to hold her still. She wrapped her arms around her big brother, and for a moment she was a child again. A ten year old who's cat had just died. Helo motioned towards the ship and Kara nodded. They walked in together, leaving the Tam siblings clinging to each other in privacy.

**********

It was the next day when they finally found out what Jean had been up to. Jayne and Jean had both opted out of the afternoon communal meal. Nobody, not even Sam, said anything about it, not really wanting to risk certain mental images popping into their heads while eating. The deadline was right around the corner, and everyone knew it. The fresh supplies they'd picked up were starting to dwindle so the quality of food was suffering. It had, overall, been a very quiet and subdued, almost depressing, meal.

They were stacking dirty plates when Jean came back in, almost bouncing with energy.

"We have surprise for everyone!"

"You're not pregnant, are you?" Mal asked while Sam blanched.

"No," she said without pause, and Sam breathed a sigh of relief. He noticed as he did so that Kara's mouth twitched slightly, like she was trying to hold back a smile. She'd been giving him crap lately about his concern. He couldn't help it. Jean was his best friend, and he didn't trust Jayne as far as Athena could throw him. Of course, a small part of him could admit that he was deflecting because it was easier to worry over Jean than over himself. That didn't make his concerns less valid.

But she seemed very happy at the moment, and Sam put aside the worry as everyone trekked down to the hold. Halfway down the grated steps they all stopped on the landing and looked at what had been assembled. Sam broke out in a huge grin.

They'd made a regulation Pyramid court. Well, maybe not exactly regulation, seeing as everything appeared to be made of scraps of all kinds. But it was pretty damn close. Jean, down on the floor next to Jayne, spread her arms wide.

"What do you think?"

"What is it?" Wash asked skeptically.

"It's a game," Jean said. "Everyone's been cranky and bored, so I figured this might liven things up a bit."

It took almost half an hour to explain just the basics, and even then the crew of Serenity seemed unclear. Finally they decided a demonstration was in order.

"You're in for a treat," Helo told them, as Sam and Kara each loosened up.

"Why's that?" Kaylee asked.

"Sam used to play professionally," he told them, grinning at Sam's shaking head.

"A lot of people used to do a lot of things, Helo." It had been so long since Pyramid was his thing that he almost couldn't remember it clearly. It seemed like another life. And maybe it was. Kara, however, seemed to find it funny.

"You're just saying that so when I kick your ass you have an excuse."

"You know, _almost_ getting to the pros doesn't actually mean anything," he called back. Jean tossed him a ball (which appeared to be homemade), and he and Kara circled around the center mark that Jean had laid down with chalk.

There wasn't much trash talk after that simply because it was nearly impossible to speak and play at the same time. Pyramid was a physically demanding sport, and as his muscles protested he was reminded he hadn't played since New Caprica. Sam was comforted by Kara's similarly out of breath demeanor as the game wore on.

The others watched, cheering from the sidelines as Kara and Sam twisted and lunged and threw; quick movements that pushed them both. The game had been going on for maybe twenty minutes when Sam heard Helo say he was going to try to convince Athena to come down. He thought that was a good idea, but couldn't say anything without giving Kara an opening. She came at him hard and he diverted all attention back to the game.

Everything stopped a minute later when they heard Helo shouting.

"Help! I need help, Simon!" Mal, Kara, and Simon were off before he'd even finished calling out. Sam stayed in the hold with everyone else, starring worriedly up at the shuttle entrance. A few minutes later they emerged, moving quickly towards the infirmary. Athena was clutched tightly in Helo's arms, apparently unconscious. Sam saw blood.

**********

It was hours later when they had their impromptu meeting. Kara, Sam, Jean, and Gaeta all gathered by the couch outside the infirmary. Helo was still inside with Athena and Simon. They could see him bent over her, though the door was half closed.

Athena had tried to use herself to force the two systems to work together. She'd slit holes in both hands and inserted wires. Gaeta, Kara, and Helo had all seen her do this trick before, and in fact said it was the only reason they'd been able to get back to Caprica to rescue the resistance. But something had gone wrong, some kind of electrical short. It briefly stopped her heart. She was stable now, but Simon was running blood tests, worried about what might have entered her system.

So they all waited just outside the door, anxious for news. And as they waited they started to talk.

"I think we need to consider all our options," Gaeta said quietly.

"You have something to say, say it." Kara was steely eyed and tense. She didn't like waiting.

"Getting back is important to Athena and Helo, but it's important to the fleet as well. The longer it takes, the harder it will be to find them."

"Get to the frakking point," she snapped.

"Kaylee's good, but we're working with very limited resources here. Have we..." he trailed off, seemed to brace himself. "I think we need to consider going to the Alliance for help." He said is quietly, barely a whisper.

For a very long minute, no one said anything.

"Have you lost your mind?" Kara finally asked incredulously. She couldn't believe what she was hearing from him. She was all for new ideas at this point, but she was hoping for ones that didn't suck on every level imaginable.

"They have resources and technology we don't have access to. If we gave them the FTL specs, gave them new technology like that, they might be willing to help us."

"Yeah, or they might screw us all over."

"I know!" He was agitated, clearly unhappy with what he was saying. "But there are thousands of Colonials who are going to die out there if they don't find a home soon. And if there's even a slight chance that making a deal with the devil could save them, then maybe that's what we're going to have to do."

Kara's immediate impulse was to say no. Or maybe punch him. But her impulses had gotten them into their current situation, and the last thing she wanted was to make it worse. The idea turned her stomach, but so did leaving the old man to float around in space until they all died. So for the next few minutes, they all just sat and thought.

"I don't know," she said finally, quietly. "Maybe."

"Don't do it." They all looked up, startled. Simon stood at the infirmary door, looking at them sadly. "I understand. I understand wanting to save the people you care about so desperately you'll do almost anything. But I think you need to know something." He came out, sat down with them.

"I know you saw the wanted posters on Persephone. Several years ago, River was offered a position at an Alliance run academy. It was supposed to be the best place there was for education. And River was more than intelligent enough to fit in there. She was beyond brilliant, could learn almost anything if she wanted to. So she went. She was so excited." His voice broke.

"Month's later I started getting coded letters from her. And when I finally figured it out, when I finally found the messages, it said 'they're hurting us, get me out'. And no one would believe me. Not my family, not my friends. So I made it my mission to rescue her. I got her out, got her on Serenity." His breathing was ragged, his hands clenched tightly into fists.

"We were able to sneak into a hospital a few months ago, so I could run tests. Find out what they did." He looked straight at Kara, eyes burning. "They cut open her head, and they took out part of her brain. They used her for experiments, and they didn't care what kind of damage they did." He got up to pace.

"Sometimes she's lucid, and sometimes she can't remember that her cat died seven years ago. The Alliance...they don't care. If they think they can use you, they won't care what the cost is." He stepped back to the infirmary briefly, and Kara saw Helo watching them. When Simon popped back out he was holding a medical chart in his hands.

"You said there was no way to detect Cylons. Maybe that was true with your tests. But mine found an anomaly. Not enough to tell someone who doesn't know already that she's not technically human. But enough to arouse suspicion. Curiosity." He tossed the folder in Kara's lap. "Athena's going to be fine. You want her to stay that way, you stay away from the Alliance. God only knows what they'd cut out of her."

**********


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

Two minutes left. Sam stood outside in the breeze as his watch ticked off the last remaining moments before they were overdue. He wasn't sure where everyone else was. Personally, he didn't want to be around the others just now. If anyone asked he would say it was depressing enough without seeing the emotion reflected by everyone around him. The truth was a bit different. He was afraid he wouldn't look sad enough. Afraid that someone would be able to tell that part of him was relieved.

Sam had realized in the last few days, sitting stationary on this quiet planet while they hid, that he didn't want to go back. Help the fleet find home, sure, but not go back himself. He liked here. He'd started feeling safer here than he had anywhere else in years. He was a nobody here. Not a pyramid star, not a resistance hero, not a viper jock. Nobody looked twice at him.

He wanted to help the fleet, wanted Helo and Athena to get Hera back. But here, on Serenity, he didn't have to worry quite so much. River knew, and that was a little terrifying, but she showed no indication of breaking her word to keep his secret, and no one else was even asking the question. There'd been a few times in the last few days he'd simply forgotten to be freaked out. Tigh wasn't going to come around the corner and demand they all meet, Tyrol wasn't going to ask him if he'd remembered anything new yet, and Tory wasn't going to give him those knowing looks every time they passed by each other.

He looked back down at his watch. Five, four, three, two...that was it. It was done. Adama would probably find an excuse to wait a little longer, maybe even send out a search party. After all, there were a lot of valued crew members that had gone with the Demetrius. It didn't matter, they wouldn't find anything.

"It's real pretty, ain't it," Kaylee said, coming up behind him. Sam looked off where she motioned, to the fields of green and the mountains in the distance.

"I can think of worse places to hide out." Kaylee grinned and stuffed her hands in the pockets of her worn and dirty coveralls.

"Are you OK?" she asked quietly. "I mean…are you?"

"Because," she continued, coming around to stand in front of him, "it ain't like I know you all that well, but seems like you've been all over the place since you got here. And with today being, you know, _the day_, I just..."

"I'm doing OK. _Really_," he confirmed at her disbelieving look. "It's hard, not being able to do anything. But it's easier for me than some of the others. I've got my family with me." He thought briefly of the three Cylons back on Galactica, but pushed them firmly aside.

"You and Kara seem pretty close," she prompted. Sam nearly laughed.

"Do we?" he asked. Kaylee bit her lip nervously.

"So how...I mean, it doesn't seem like Kara would be the easiest person in the 'verse to court, so how'd you manage it?" Sam smiled down at her.

"Are you asking for dating advice?" Kaylee grinned and blushed.

"Sort of, I guess. It's just, Simon ain't really one for talkin' about his feelings, and when he tries he usually just says somethin' stupid and thick headed. From what I seen, Kara ain't the greatest communicator either, but you manage to make it work." She looked at Sam hopefully, and he tried to keep the teasing on his face but just couldn't.

"We're not talking, Kaylee, that's the problem. We get along by not talking about all the things we need to talk about." That was, of course, the one flaw in Sam's fantasy of a fresh start on Serenity. Running away from his identity didn't make it go away, and Kara was the one person who made him feel it. He didn't want to keep lying to her.

"What kind of things," Kaylee asked. Sam looked into her sweet face and wished for someone to confide in.

"Secrets. Lies. Things I want to tell her but I can't."

"Why can't you?"

"Because...because it'll change everything when I do. It's not some little thing we can just talk away, it will always be there, and I don't think it's something she'd ever be able to accept. And I'm selfish enough I don't want her to hate me, even if it means lying to her." Kaylee looked at him sadly, then out at the mountains.

"I think you can't really love someone if you don't know the darkest part of them. Maybe you have to risk letting her hate you before you can know if she really loves you." She looked back at him. "My daddy used to say that you love someone because of their faults, not despite them. You should tell her, whatever it is. I think she'll surprise you." Sam shook his head a little and laughed at her.

"Look at you. Coming to me for advice when it sounds like you already know the all the answers."

"Not all," she said, smiling again.

"Well, a little tit for tat. Simon likes you, you like him. If he's too scared to make the first move, do it for him. Show him what you want, don't take no for an answer."

"Is that how you got Kara?" Sam grinned at the memories.

"More like how she got me." They both laughed as he recounted the story of their wedding, and continued to talk for quite awhile. Sam was grateful for the company, and for the friend. He wondered if had the courage to take her advice.

**********

It almost seemed too predictable that Kara would pass the day of the rendezvous drinking. But she was never really one to care about how her behavior appeared to others, and it seemed as good an option as any other. She thought by now she'd be numb to the emotional blows, but she still felt it. In the days preceding everything had been hypothetical. A pretty damn certain hypothetical, but still not real. Missing the deadline, actually knowing it was too late, that still felt like a kick in the teeth. She'd spent a week trying to push away any negative emotion, trying desperately to be the leader her people needed. Trying to hold it together like she hadn't been able to on the Demetrius. And now it was all coming apart.

Kara looked up when she heard footsteps on the stairs behind her. Athena hurried down and sat next to her on the landing overlooking the cargo bay, her legs dangling over the sides like Kara's. Her hands were bandaged, and there were dark circles under her eyes that were nearly bruises. But she was up again, spending time with other people. Mostly because Helo made her, though at least he was nice about it. Kara hadn't found much to say to either of them lately, and now it looked like Athena was taking matters into her own hands.

"Was it worth it?" she asked bitingly.

"Was what worth it?" Kara took a swig from the bottle.

"You're frakking hunch. You were so obsessed, you just didn't..." Here words were angry, cold, her eyes burning. "Instead of a laid out grid you had us going in circles. Instead of sending out recon birds you just jumped us right into the fray. You didn't even stop to think, did you."

"No," Kara admitted, not looking at her as she turned and stood up. She jogged down the remaining steps, wanting some distance. Athena's anger was too hot to stand next to. "I didn't care about procedure," she continued as Athena followed her.

"Didn't care? God, Kara, what the frak? You were given command, they were your responsibility, and you didn't care? Frak you!" She pushed Kara, breathing hard, and Kara made no move to stop her, still clutching the booze at her side.

"Is that it?" she taunted, wanting the anger. "A little shove? Gods, even Callie has more fight in her than that." She saw the fist coming, and let it hit home. Athena's right hook sent Kara careening into one of the empty crates still sitting on the deck. She expected more follow through, another hit, and looked up when it didn't come. Athena was bent over, cradling her hand, face contorted in pain. She walked weakly over to another crate, leaned against it and slid down. She wrapped her arms around her bent knees, holding her now aching hand slightly away as she waited for the throbbing to subside. Kara whipped the blood off her lip and looked down at the other woman.

"Feel better?"

"Not really," Athena said quietly, anger spent, at least for now. She looked broken again. The last time Kara had seen anything close to that look on her face was the day they told her Hera had died. She walked over and slid down next to her, wordlessly handing Athena the bottle without looking. The other woman took it, and tipped her head back as she downed some. They sat there in silence for awhile, neither having any idea what came next. The sounds of voices drifting in from other parts of the ship brought Kara back to the moment.

"Where's Helo?" she asked, a bit surprised, now that she thought about it, that he'd left Athena alone.

"Upstairs, with Wash I think. He thinks I'm asleep." They fell back into silence. After awhile Athena gave her back the bottle and stood. She started to walk away but turned back abruptly. "Kaylee's going to work on a brand new FTL, right? After we get done with this job and can get the supplies she needs?"

"Yeah," Kara said quietly, remaining on the floor. "That's the plan." Athena nodded, and strode off purposefully. Kara couldn't really blame her for not wanting to hang. She touched her lip again and winced, but was happy to see the bleeding had stopped. Athena hadn't put as much behind the punch as she could have. Which was kind of disappointing really.

Once again the clang of boots on metal alerted her to an intrusion to her solitude. Kaylee and Sam walked up the ramp, chatting quietly. They almost passed her by, but Sam saw her at the last moment.

"Kara?" he asked, concerned as he took in her split lip. She wasn't sure what did it. Something in his expression, his tone, the way he knelt down next to her. All she knew was that one minute she was holding it together, and the next the tears she'd been holding back for weeks finally broke free.

It was just too much, too frakking much. Her death, Earth, the fleet, too many questions with no answers. She'd told Adama long ago that she'd never wanted command responsibility. Over time she'd accepted the necessity, but she still didn't _want_ it.

She heard Kaylee walk away, and Sam tried to pull her into his arms but Kara kept him back with a hand on his chest. She wasn't sure she could handle him trying to tell her everything was going to be OK when it so clearly wasn't. But Sam didn't say that. He didn't say anything. He sat next to her, arm pressed against hers but otherwise not touching her. She sat in Sam's silent company for several long minutes as she fought back control. As she took long deep breaths she leaned her head on his shoulder, resting wearily. Eventually she was able to speak again.

"I screwed up, Sam." It was an obvious admission, and Kara didn't usually like to admit fault, but this time she needed to say it.

"You're not the only one," was all Sam said, kissing the top of her head before laying his cheek against her hair. Kara felt spent, exhausted. Her eyes started to droop, and for a moment she thought she might just pass out there, leaning up against Sam. But she jerked awake again when he pulled away. He turned to her, cupped her face with his hand and made sure she was looking at him.

"I love you, Kara. I always will. Nothing is ever going to change that. I need you to know that, to believe it."

"I do," she said softly. She did believe him, and she envied his certainty. She loved him too, but it wasn't that simple for her. Lee had always been that question mark in the back of her head. And then he hadn't been a question anymore, but something even more complicated. Now there was her death, and Leoben's voice like some awful nightmare she couldn't wake from whispering of destiny and fate. But Sam never wavered. He never went away, no matter what she did or how hard she pushed. She could be grateful for it, but she couldn't understand it.

"OK," he said at her affirmation. He took a deep breath, eyes filled with a fear that startled her. "I need to tell you something Kara. It's not easy to say, and it won't be easy to hear. Just...please remember that I love you. Always." Kara felt a shiver of fear go down her spine at the look on his face and the tone in his voice.

"What's going on?" she asked, pulling away slightly so she could see more of him.

"I..." he hesitated, eyes wide. "I'm a-"

"Hey, food's on!" Jayne called suddenly from above, interrupting Sam and making them both jump. "Don't think I'm goin' to save you nothin'." He hurried off, leaving Kara to stare uncertainly as Sam pulled away.

"You're a what, Sam," she pressed. He glanced back up towards where Jayne had run off, and sighed.

"I'm a...afraid," he finished. "I'm afraid we won't get back to the fleet at all. That we won't find them. It's not a possibility anyone seems to want to voice out loud, but we all know it could happen." He was lying, Kara could see it. Whatever he had been about to tell her, that wasn't it. She nodded slowly, knowing she wasn't going to be able to press him anymore today. The moment had passed and he was already shutting down.

"We all feel it, Sam. We can't let it stop us from trying." He nodded too and helped her to her feet.

"Let's go eat," he said, turning away from her quickly. She hesitated before following him, a feeling of deep unease and nervousness taking hold. She wasn't good at getting people to open up, not unless it involved beating the truth out of them. And she knew that wasn't a tactic that would work with Sam. She walked behind him up to the dining room, and wondered how she could go about getting him to talk.

**********

It was late, the rest of the ship sleeping soundly, tucked away in their quarters. Mal sat on the bridge, restless and unable to join his crewmates in slumber. As with so many times before, his practical side warred with his emotional side. They hadn't been able to be sure how fast they could produce the weapons, and so Jacob and the rest of the rebellion wouldn't consider them overdue for almost a month yet. They had plenty of time to wait, make sure their path would be clear and Dadik wouldn't suspect anything of a transport ship landing on his planet. But sitting around doing nothing all day was driving him batty. It wasn't doing much for his crew either, that he could tell. It wasn't just about his desire to see Dadik go down in flames, it was lost opportunities and revenue while they sat incommunicado.

And there was more than the job weighing on his mind. Inara was still giving lessons to their new friends, when they let her, and she'd been using it as an excuse to avoid him. No easy feat on a ship as small and currently crowded as Serenity. Here too his emotions warred with logic. She was a professional woman of high regard in society stuck on a ship that usually ran on dubiously made money, and occasionally had parts fall off it. Logically there was no reason for her to want to stay, no reason for Mal to ask her to. Yet he didn't want her to leave. He thought back to the moment where she'd first said she was. They were both mourning Nandi, and Mal had been very close to confessing his feelings for her. He didn't talk about feelings much, or lightly, but it had seemed important to say it, while he still could. Instead she'd stopped him, and walked out on him. The question remained, what did he say to her.

"Mal." He jumped at the sound of her voice, and wondered for a moment if he'd fallen asleep. Inara stepped onto the bridge and smiled sheepishly. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you."

"You didn't. I was just, uh, gettin' some exercise. You know, jumpin' jacks." He did a few to demonstrate, and Inara nodded indulgently. Embarrassed, he stopped hopping around and stood awkwardly.

"Couldn't sleep either?" he finally asked, the silence getting to him.

"No. And I didn't want to wake Jean so I came out here. And found you."

"So I guess you're talkin' to me again?" She crossed the room to lean against the consol.

"I wasn't _not_ talking to you, I've just been busy."

"Well yeah, sitting around in the middle of nowhere, that's bound to produce all kinds of work."

"I've been-"

"Teaching, I know."

"Is it my imagination," she said, changing the subject, "or is Jayne taking an unusual interest in a certain red head? If I didn't know better I'd say he had feelings for her."

"It does boggle the mind a bit." They lapsed back into an uncomfortable silence.

"So, have you decided when you're going to pretend to leave again?"

"Mal..." her voice was tired and sad. "I want to stay. That's the problem. I can't be stuck here forever, I have to leave while I can still make myself." Mal closed the distance between them, gaze intent on her face.

"What are you so afraid of? If you're happy here then why is that a bad thing?" She smiled sadly.

"It wouldn't work, Mal. I can't change who I am."

"Who you are is not defined by what you do for money." She scoffed and pushed past him.

"There, right there. There it is. You can't accept what I do, but it's not going to change, Mal. You think you're the white knight who's going to save me, but I don't need saving!"

"That's not what I-"

"Yes, it is. You think if we...if we let ourselves...then you'll be the man, the one man who can take me away from my terrible life. But that's not how it works. What do you think happens if I take you down to your bunk and make love to you, and then I take a client the next time we're on a civilized planet. You'd be OK with it? Watching me take off to bed another man? Or woman?" Mal said nothing. There was nothing to say, and she knew it.

She shook her head sadly and turned to leave but Mal stopped her. If he'd given himself time to think he might have realized what a bad idea it was, but thought played very little part in the decision. He spun her around and pressed his lips to hers, holding her body close to his. For a split second she kissed him back, hands coming up to hold his face. Then she pushed him away. Her hand came up and slapped him across the face. He raised a hand to his stinging cheek as he watched her walk away again.

She was more right than he wanted to admit, of course. What she did, he would never be able to accept it. He just couldn't understand why she did it. That was one part of her he'd never really gotten to know. It was the part she kept secret from everyone, that kept other people from really knowing her. Her work didn't define her, but she used it to hide behind. He just didn't know why.

**********


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

It had been a long trip, and they were all relieved to land on Dadik. Mal, Zoe, and Kara had argued for days, impatience warring with caution. In the end they'd reached a compromise. They'd only been on the small green planet for a week when they took off again. A quick resupply stop to one of the nearby moons had set them up, and then Wash had taken them as deep into space as the fuel supply would let him. It had taken almost two weeks to get to Dadik on that route, but everyone was satisfied by the precautions.

Jayne stood off to the side as everyone else disembarked, watching as they all greeted Jacob and some others enthusiastically. His interest shifted elsewhere, turning out to scan the ramshackle town spread out in front of them The buildings were a pale adobe brick, dusty and crumbly looking. Wouldn't hold up to much if the fight came back to the rebellion.

"Not much to fight for," he said under his breath as Jean came over. Like so many of the places the Alliance terraformed, the end result was habitable but far from lush. The crumbling buildings blended in nicely with the dry dirt and scraggly scrub brush. "Guess somethin's better than nothin'". Jean looked around slowly, like Jayne, eyes calculating.

"It'd be hard to defend," she said, thoughts mirroring his own. "They could do it though. There," she pointed to one of the larger buildings, set back from the houses, down by the muddy river. "High windows, close to the only bridge across the water. Hold back the advancing line while foot soldiers use the surrounding buildings as cover to circle around. Attack in small bursts, keep moving, running around. Don't give them a fixed position, make them wonder how many are really out there. Evacuate across the bridge and blow it if it came to it" Her eyes had gone dead and unfocused, like what was in front of her wasn't really what she was seeing.

"All good ideas, though we hope to avoid fightin' here if at all possible." Jacob's voice seemed to jar her out of her reverie before Jayne could do anything. They both turned as the other man came over and shook their hands. He was rather short, and reed thin, as was often then case on these underdeveloped planets. But Jayne had seen his arms flex as they played pool, the pretext for their first meeting. He had more muscle than one would assume looking at his small frame. A lightweight, but not a pushover.

"Why don't we head inside," he motioned, leading them all down a worn, rock strewn path. The houses were crowded together, creating a virtual maze. In the middle of the village there was an open square. Children ran around in small groups, their yelling voices having been earlier muffled and blocked by the surrounding stone. One group kicked a small ball between them. A particularly vicious kick by a scrappy looking, dirt covered boy sporting red blond hair almost identical to Jacob's, sent the ball careening towards their procession. Jayne caught it easily, bouncing it off his knees a few times to their delighted giggles before kicking it back.

"My son," Jacob confirmed as they resumed their game and turned their backs on the adults. "There are times when we question what we're plannin'. Then we remember the stories from other towns and villages, of children on the verge of puberty bein' taken in the night for God only knows what. I won't let that happen here."

"Is this everyone?" Kara asked, motioning around the village, to the other adults that watched the children or wandered in and out of doorways. Jacob shook his head.

"Almost everyone here who's of age has volunteered to participate in the raid, but we have other villages as well. This far out from the larger cities is where the real danger is, where people don't have the security to protect their families from Dadik's thugs. There's a few places within walkin' distance who've given their support, banded together. All 'n all we got 'round about eighty men and women. Best we've been able to figure he mostly has about a hundred men in and around his compound, servin' as his personal army. He's got more, of course, scattered all over the planet. But if we can take out Dadik quickly, with no one to pay them they shouldn't be a problem."

They'd resumed walking while Jacob filled them in, and now he motioned them into one of the houses. It was dark, the floor boards squeaked, and Jayne, Helo, and Sam all had to duck to avoid hitting their heads on the rafters. But it was meticulously clean and something smelled delicious.

"I thought feeding you was the least we could do, for all your help." Jacob motioned them to a large table.

"That's really not necessary," Mal begged off. Jayne glared. He was hungry, gorramit. They'd been down to protein mash for five days, and he was about ready to kill for some actual food.

"I insist." At Jacob's firm prodding they all arranged themselves around the worn table. They'd barely touched the chairs when a group of people streamed in from the kitchen carrying steaming pots.

"My mother, Alice, and brother, Elli. And this is Asha, Julius, and Liam." He motioned to each of his people as he introduced them. Alice was sturdy, an imposing figure with lots of white hair and deep set wrinkles. The hard life here must have aged her prematurely, since she looked much older than he would have expected Jacob's mother to be. Or possibly she had Jacob late in life. Even Jayne knew it would be impolite to ask for clarification on that point. His eyes wandered over to the woman Asha. She had gone over to a group of kids who had come rushing in, no doubt smelling dinner, and was bent over to speak to them quietly on their own level. This afforded Jayne an easy view of her assets, one he was enjoying thoroughly until he felt a hand smack into the back of his head.

"Don't be gross," Jean said, barely sparing him a glance before returning to her conversation with Sam. Jayne settled back in his chair and watched her out of the corner of his eye. They'd spent a lot of time together on the long trip. About a week into it, Jean had opened up to him about the attacks they'd survived. It wasn't an experience he was likely to forget anytime soon. Her words, her face as she told it, still rang in his ears.

"We were practicing when it happened," she'd said. They'd been talking about pyramid, and at first Jayne didn't understand what she meant. "We were up in the mountains, away from the cities. High altitude training. One minute we were all laughing, giving Sam a hard time, the next there were these booms. So far away, but you could still feel the earth shake. And we looked over, and there were mushroom clouds, all along the horizon. We didn't know what was happening, we couldn't...we tried to get information from the radio, but it went dead. Every station, one by one. Until we were alone. It wasn't hard to figure out it was the Cylons. Frakking centurions were everywhere. But then we saw one of the human models burying dead humans. They all looked alike, every single one of them."

Her voice had broken, and they'd sat in silence while she collected herself enough to continue. As she went on she got more and more distant, eyes taking on that dead quality that he'd seen again as they scanned Jacob's village. Jayne wasn't used to having people confide those types of emotions to him. People didn't like him, and they certainly didn't trust him. He didn't know what to do with it. He patted her knee awkwardly and she gave him a strange look. She had no way of knowing his current train of thought, and he felt vaguely embarrassed by the out of place gesture. Yet he felt oddly glad to have done something, even something so small.

Talk turned to business during the meal. There were popular leaders in the major cities who were ready to take control and re-form the old government from before Dadik's reign began. The rebellion had been in the planning stages for years, but those who lived in the cities weren't interested in rocking the boat and risking their relative comforts, so it had taken time to amass enough people to make an effective strike. Remaining secret had been their highest, and most difficult, priority. Mal, Kara, and the rest of the soldiers in attendance seemed content to talk shop, but after awhile Alice called an end to such topics and insisted on a more relaxed atmosphere.

They lit fires in the square after the sun went down, and it seemed like everyone from the village was there, mingling and wanting to get to know the newcomers. Jayne wasn't much for socializing, but someone pulled out an old guitar, and that was his rescue. He tuned it carefully, taking his time, and began to strum old melodies he'd learned a long time ago from his mom. Pretty soon other instruments had joined in, and before he knew it an impromptu dance had begun. Jayne watched Jean twirl around in the firelight, and realized with a jolt that he didn't want her to go back to their fleet. How the hell he'd gotten attached to some crazy refugee he had no clue, but attached he was.

He didn't have time to dwell on this realization, or act upon it in any way. The first indication that anything was wrong was the sudden shift in wind that sent the fire dancing crazily. Then the music died out and they could hear the mechanized whine of an approaching ship. And finally, as if there was any doubt left as to what was happening, spotlights flooded the area, bathing everything in harsh brightness. Jayne was at Mal's side in seconds, hand already going for his gun. Instead Mal motioned him to wait, as a phalanx of men and women formed behind them. Several people began hustling the children inside, and Jacob came to the front and exchanged knowing looks with Mal.

"I thought it would take longer," Jacob said quietly.

Jayne looked around until he found Jean, off to one side, Sam and Kara standing in line with her. There was no sound from the amassed group as they waited. The ship landed in the flatlands outside of town, as Serenity had, and they could hear the calls of men shouting and the crunch of their boots. Within minutes the line had broken through the rows of houses, armed men in dark clothing. Jayne had to fight himself to follow orders and not draw his own gun. From the line a single man pushed his way through. He was tall and lean, and the aura of power around him was unmistakable. He smirked as he looked around their group.

"Malcolm Reynolds. It's been a long time."

"Dadik."

**********

___Mal struggled to keep his voice and face perfectly calm. Though his hand itched to reach for his gun he kept it at his side. Dadik was probably wearing a protective vest, and was surrounded by armed men. Attempting to kill him here would no doubt fail and lead to a massacre. _

___It had indeed been a long time, but the other man was no less impressive than he had been back in the day. His face was lined and hard looking but not unattractive, and that only added to his outward charm. He was very charismatic, and always had been. That had played a part in the kind of power he was able to accumulate among the Independents. But he was also a vicious son of a bitch, something Mal could see plainly in his eyes. He wondered how they'd ever been stupid enough to miss it._

_"__Mr. Dadik, sir. What an unexpected surprise." Jacob was polite and deferential, eyes downcast submissively. _

_"__Jacob Connelly, right? You're the foreman down at the Bingtown Sawmill."_

_"__Yessir."_

_"__I'll get to you in a minute." He turned back to Mal. "I make a habit of knowin' who comes and goes 'round here. When I heard your name I damn near couldn't believe it. Good 'ole sergeant Mal. Can't help but wonder what you might be doin' here."_

___"Didn't realize this here was your place," Mal said. Dadik laughed at the obvious lie._

___"Well now, you always were a crafty sonofabitch."_

___"Nothin' crafty about it," he soothed. "Always looking for new business opportunities, new worlds to trade on and transport too."_

_"__And you thought my corner of the verse seemed like a good business venture?" Mal shrugged._

_"__As good as any."_

_"__That seems mighty magnanimous of you, Mal."_

_"__I see no reason to dwell in the past. A man's gotta make an honest living." Dadik scoffed._

_"__Honest, huh? That ain't what I hear. You don't mind if my men search your ship, do you? Gotta make sure you ain't transportin' contraband through my land." Dadik's men cocked their guns, the threat obvious. It wasn't really a request. Mal motioned him towards Serenity, but was stopped when he tried to follow._

_"__Wait here," the goon grunted. Mal's fists clenched. The thought of that _hoe-tze duh pee-goo___ going through his ship unchecked made his stomach turn. At least Mal could rest easy that they would find nothing objectionable on board. _

___They knew from Jacob that Dadik monitored ship traffic. They also knew the atmospheric sensors his people used were based in the major cities, and the range didn't quite cover the whole planet. Jacob's village was covered, and so they'd made arrangements to land empty handed as a precaution against such a shakedown as was happening now. Gaeta, as it turned out, was quite brilliant with calculations. Given the raw data, he had found a blind spot, a small strip of dessert where they could land unnoticed. The guns, grenades, and every other weapon they had except the ones strapped to their hips were buried out where no one would find them until they were needed. _

___The crowd behind him started to get restless, no one quite sure what was going to happen. Though a ring of men with guns remained watching them, people began to move around, making sure to give them a wide berth. The atmosphere was tense and thick, but he must have given orders not to shoot because no violence befell anyone._

___Dadik came back almost an hour later. He didn't look happy, which almost made Mal smile. Bastard hadn't found a thing._

_"__Satisfied?" Mal asked, probably pushing his luck more than he should. Dadik didn't respond to the taunt. He walked over to two of his men and whispered something to them before approaching Mal._

_"__You don't fool me," he said, pushing into Mal's personal space menacingly. "I know you're up to something. But I admit I'm curious as to what it is." He backed away, leaving Mal untouched and turned to Jacob. "Now, as for you, well I'm afraid you've got some questions to answer." He snapped his fingers and the men he'd whispered to earlier rushed forward and grabbed Jacob's arms, twisting them behind him._

_"__What's going on?" he shouted, surprise and fear etched on his face. Alice tried to get to her son but Mal held her back, mind racing and trying to adapt. The shakedown hadn't been unexpected, but this was._

_"__You went off planet a few weeks ago, quite sneakily I'm told."_

_"__It was a business trip," Jacob spat, ironically telling the truth. "I was scoutin' new oil suppliers for the mill machinery. Those _chiang-bao hoe-tze duh idiots on the Silver Hold Colonies have been gaugin' prices. I thought you might appreciate a higher profit margin." Mal was impressed at how smoothly the lies rolled out, though he was sure they must have been rehearsed many times.

___"A nice story, but there are holes I could drive a tanker through, startin' with why a business trip required you to sneak off on a cargo ship instead of a registered passenger ship. And I've been hearin' some...unfortunate rumors. You don't mind comin' to my home so we can talk about this more in depth, do you?" He waved a hand and the guards began to drag Jacob away. Shouts broke out as the crowd surged forward. Mal motioned for his crew and together they tried to hold everyone back, knowing the situation could get very out of hand very quickly. But with their leader being dragged away by a monster, they weren't operating on reason. The armed gunmen started to close in._

___"It's fine! I'm fine. Everything's going to be OK!" Jacob's shouts finally got through to some of them. The shock of being grabbed had worn off, and he was calm again, his face smooth with a reassuring smile. He was a leader trying to convince his people to have faith, to stay focused. The anger was palpable but slowly everyone stopped pushing towards danger. Dadik stood behind his men, laughing, amused. Mal comforted himself by imagining the moment when he'd cease to breath at all. Mal didn't enjoy violence or murder, but he was practical about it. He did what was necessary to keep his crew safe and do the job, that was it. But for Dadik he would have no qualms about putting a bullet in his head. He'd see him dead and sleep sounder for it that night._

___"Enjoy your party," Dadik smirked. He walked off, the men holding Jacob trailing behind. The rest of his men remained, holding everyone at gunpoint until some signal went through their com units and they turned in unison. Alice started to shake as they watched his ship take off, spraying dust everywhere. Her eyes shone with tears but they didn't fall, and on her face was a look of furry such as would make a grown man cower in a corner. Kara came up to him as the whispering and crying started spreading throughout the gathered crowed. _

___"Someone's gotta get a handle on this, now." She looked at Alice. "Who's his second?"_

___"Asha," she spit out, "but whatever you do, I'm in." Mal and Kara looked her up and down. For an old lady, she was spry and fit. She'd do OK._

___They held the meeting in Jacob's house, around the table they'd eaten at just a few hours earlier. Asha had indeed taken charge, ordering everyone back into their houses. They were on lockdown until the next morning, with rotating watches of armed sentries, just in case._

___"How integral was he to your attack plan?" Zoe asked, getting down to business. _

___"Not irreplaceable, thankfully. These are the blueprints for the compound," she motioned to the tube of paper that Julius unrolled on the table. "Not easy to get hold of by the way. The attack plan itself was Jacob's baby, but he shared. I know what he was planning."_

___"Good." Mal looked around at his people. "I know we agreed we were going to drop the weapons and go, not participate in any violence. Things have changed, though, and I ain't plannin' on leavin'. Everyone else can take Serenity and head to one of the nearby moons. I'll keep a shuttle on planet and meet up with you when it's done." _

___"I'm gonna pretend you didn't say that, sir," Zoe said in a bored tone, studying the blueprints.  
_

___"Yeah, no offense, but being cooped up on your ship kind of sucks. I'm ready for a fight." Kara smirked at she crossed her arms and looked around, seemingly daring anyone else to dissent. No one did._

___"Thank you," Asha said sincerely. "We can use all the help we can get. There's a problem though. The lack of weapons wasn't the only reason we were waiting on the raid." Mal raised his eyebrows and waited for her to continue. "We have a plan for how to deal with the guards once we breach security and get inside the compound. The problem is breaching the security system. No one out here has the kind of electronics skills for something like that. We've been trying to contract someone from the city, but so far no one's interested."_

___"I think we can help with that," Sharon spoke up from her place next to Zoe's side. "Do you have the system's schematics?" Asha pointed to another roll of paper and Athena went to investigate._

___"OK," Mal sighed. "Whether they get anything out of Jacob or not, Dadik's suspicious now. We need to move on this fast. Let's go over this plan tonight. We'll send a party out to retrieve everything tomorrow." Asha agreed, and they all sat down to talk strategy._

___**********_


	16. Chapter 16

___**Chapter 16**_

___Sam's beeping watch startled him out of a dream. He had vague impressions, water, color, feeling warm, but couldn't hold on to the details of what he'd been seeing. He knew it was the same dream he'd been having for days now, but he could never quite remember what it really was. _

___His body protested as he hauled himself out of bed, wanting nothing more than to collapse back down and go back to sleep. But it was his turn to take watch, and he was taking Kara's place on the line. Showing up late would only invite more tension, something they didn't need at the moment._

___The town was quiet as he left the relative comfort of Serenity and took off into the night. His assigned watch post was just over a ridge, a rocky high ground good for seeing what was coming. Kara stood virtually motionless, only turning when she heard him stumbling up the rocky slope._

_"__Good nap?" she asked. Her tone wasn't mean or confrontational, but it was clipped. Polite with an just an edge of 'screw you' underneath. This was how she'd been speaking to him for the last two weeks. Not for the first time Sam cursed himself for his indecisiveness. He should have either told her or kept his mouth shut. Cutting himself off halfway through had been stupid. Kara wasn't dumb, she knew something was wrong. She'd tried to confront him once, a few days after he almost confessed. In a panic, he had clammed up, gone on the defensive, picked a fight, anything he could think of to deflect. So now they spoke even less then they had been and Sam slept on the floor unless Kara was elsewhere as she had been tonight._

_"__It was fine," he said wearily. _

_"__Good. Don't need you falling asleep on duty."_

_"__I have done this before, Kara," he snapped. For a moment Kara hesitated._

_"__I know," she said finally, and for the first time in what felt like forever there wasn't bitterness lacing her words. She looked like she wanted to say more, but in the end she just walked away from him. Sam rubbed the back of his neck as he turned out to the dark sea of dry land that stretched out before him. In the distance he could just barely see the glow from the lights in Deshler City. It was no Caprica, or even Delphi, but it was the largest city on the planet. Dadik's base was located just a few miles outside its limits._

___It had been just over twenty four hours since Jacob was taken, and there'd been no word. The weapons had been retrieved earlier, and messages sent out to the villages and towns who were sending soldiers. That's how Sam had to think of them now, soldiers, not civilians. That's how you got through sending them to die. _

___He went over the plan in his head again. The positioning, the timing, the contingencies. The plan Jacob put together was solid enough, but with input from Mal and Kara it was better, more efficient. There would still be loses though. Sam had thought he was done with war, but maybe that was the price for being what he was. Death followed him everywhere._

___He should have been paying more attention to his surroundings. He knew this. How many times had he bereted a resistance fighter for negligence? It was a lesson he had apparently forgotten, and he heard no one coming. The knowledge of another presence only came when a bullet pierced his arm. Sam cursed, arm going numb. He turned quickly, trying to find from which direction he was being attacked, but this proved to be a mistake. He lost his footing, rocks sliding under his feet, and Sam didn't even have time to curse in his head as he saw the ground rushing up to meet him._

___He felt no impact. Instead of the sharp sting of stone beneath his hands, he felt grass. Didn't just feel it, smelt it. He pushed himself up, belatedly remembering his injury, but no twinge of pain came. He looked down and his arm was as smooth and uninjured as it had been when he pulled himself out of bed. He took a better look at his surroundings and let out a surprised breath. _

___It was his dream. He stood on a grassy cliff overlooking a vast ocean. The sun beat down around him and a warm breeze blew, ruffling his hair. He took it all in hungrily, desperate to remember it this time, to remember how it felt to feel so safe here. He turned, wanting to see more, and froze when he saw the figure behind him. _

___Kara stood close, smiling gently at him. Her hair was longer than he'd ever seen it, curling slightly in the salt air. She wore a white dress, definitely something he'd never seen before, and she seemed to glow as she motioned to him. _

_"__Where are we?" he asked, hesitant._

_"__Earth."_

_"__Are we dead?"_

_"__Many times."_

___He reached for her and she took his hand before stepping closer. Her other hand reached up and stroked his face lovingly. She leaned forward and Sam bent to meet her, their lips touching softly. She pulled him in closer so she could whisper in his ear._

_"__All this has happened before, and all this will happen again."_

___**********_

___Sam woke with a start, jerking upright and having to grab the table to avoid falling when he realized he was in the infirmary on Serenity._

_"__Take it easy," Simon cautioned, coming over to push at Sam's shoulders until he was flat on his back again. Sam looked over at the bandage wrapped neatly around his arm where he'd been shot. He touched his aching head and found another bandaged over his temple._

_"__You were attacked," Simon explained. "One of the other sentries heard a shot and found you lying unconscious. Do you remember what happened?" Sam struggled to think back and keep hold of his dream at the same time._

_"__I remember being shot. And then…I fell? I can't remember anything else. I didn't see anyone, hear anything."_

_"__That's what we were afraid of," Mal said, coming to stand just inside the door. Kara was next to him, and she looked relieved. She even offered him a small smile. For a second Sam saw her in a white dress, then the vision was gone again._

_"__Was the town attacked?" he asked, still a little disoriented._

_"__No," Kara came to stand by his side. "Near as we can tell you're the only one who was hurt. No one saw or heard anything else." Sam shook his head._

_"__That makes no sense." Kara shrugged. _

_"__Not gonna disagree there." A machine beeped and Simon went to investigate, grabbing the piece of paper that was spit out and examining it closely._

_"__We've doubled the patrol and sent a couple scouts to check the compound, see if there's been any significant activity with his men we need to worry about." Mal sounded tired as he leaned against the counter. "Best we can figure he sent some kind of spy, they thought they were discovered, they shot you prematurely."_

_"__Funny, premature trigger pulling isn't usually a problem Sam has," Kara teased. Sam swatted at her, embarrassed while Mal chuckled. But the smile she gave him was soft, and her hand came to rest warmly on his shoulder. It was her version of a peace offering. He wondered how long he'd been out, for her to get that worried, and was about to ask when Simon spoke up._

_"__I'm going to need some privacy for a couple of minutes. Just some last examinations, then he should be able to join you." Kara rolled her eyes but complied, following Mal out and heading towards the cargo hold._

_"__Hey, Doc, thanks for patching me up-"_

_"__I ran your blood work," Simon cut him off. For a moment Sam didn't understand what he meant. Then realization hit and he paled._

_"__Why did you-"_

_"__It was after they started talking about spies. It seemed likely to me that if Dadik had sent anyone, he wouldn't send someone incompetent. You're injury wasn't even close to fatal, and it made me wonder if they'd only grazed you on purpose. I wanted to make sure they hadn't done anything to you while you were out. Drugged you or something."_

___He set the paperwork down and pulled off the protective gloves he'd still been wearing._

_"__I've been working with Athena's blood a lot recently. I know what I'm looking at. I believe you're a good man, Sam. You saved Kaylee, and that alone would make me…but this isn't something I can keep from the Captain. I think it should come from you, though."_

___Sam couldn't wrap his brain around what was happening. After all the lies, all his careful secret keeping, he was being exposed because he slipped on a rock. He nearly laughed. _

_"__I didn't know what to say. I still don't." He looked at Simon sadly, but the other man had no words of advice for him._

___It felt a lot like walking to the gallows. Or he imagined it did. He'd never personally walked to a gallows before but the overwhelming feeling that his life was about to end certainly seemed like it would fit._

___Light was shining through the hatch, so it must be morning already. There were others in the hold; Jean, Zoe, Jayne, Gaeta…he stopped looking around and focused on Kara. He just had to tell her, like he'd tried to before. Just spit it out and get it over with, or Simon would do it for him. She looked over as he approached, and the grin on her face from talking to Helo faded._

_"__Sam? What's wrong?" He drank it in, the love and concern on her face, wondering if it was the last time he'd ever see that look from her._

_"__I'm sorry, Kara. I tried to tell you. I couldn't…" The hold was silent now, all eyes drawn to him. He was vaguely aware that no villagers were present, and it was just their crew. Small favors; he didn't want to explain it to any of them._

_"__Sam. Just say it," Kara said quietly, eyes intent on him. He took a deep breath._

_"__I'm a Cylon."_

___**********_

_"__I'm a Cylon."_

___Kara stared straight ahead, the echo of Sam's words seeming to echo in the empty room._

___I'm a Cylon._

___Cylon._

___Sam's a Cylon. Sam is a Cylon. Samuel T. Anders is a Cylon. My husband is a Cylon._

___It didn't matter how many times she repeated it or how many different ways she said it, it just didn't make sense. Her mind couldn't grasp it, couldn't shape a world where that phrase, 'I'm a Cylon', applied to him. Sam. Resistance fighter Sam. Sweet natured Sam, whose hands could make her body melt, who was a frakking professional athlete of all things. Her Sam._

___Was a Cylon._

___A glass of water was set down on the table in front of her, and Kara jumped. She looked up and Helo put a hand on her shoulder. She didn't really remember coming to the dining room. Sam had been trying to explain, saying something about how he hadn't known, he didn't understand it either. She'd walked away, just turned and left, unable to listen. _

_"__Was hoping for something stronger than water," she said quietly, her voice raw like she'd been screaming._

_"__You don't want to drink right now. Trust me. I know." And he did. People tried to be patronizing when bad things happened. They tried to pat you on the head and tell you they were sorry while really it was all meaningless and empty-. But Helo knew. He'd been given the same punch in the gut._

_"__Was everything a lie? Everything? Was I a frakking mission?"_

_"__I was," Helo reminded her. "Sharon was under orders when she rescued me, and when she slept with me. But she loved me, and we made it work. Sam says he didn't even know. If he's telling the truth-"_

_"__If," Kara spat. "If he's telling the truth. But how am I supposed to know? How do I ever not question what he says? Not even Athena knows what the Final Five are, what it means that he is one." Helo was silent for a long time, and Kara just pushed the glass of water around miserably. _

_"__Do you love him?" he asked finally. Kara stared incredulously._

_"__Gods, Helo, I don't frakking know what I feel right now."_

_"__Yes you do. Kara," he cut off her protestation. "The trust? That's something you rebuild slowly, over a very long time. But the love? Either that's still there or it's not. Think about it. Do you want him dead? He's an enemy agent, you'd be acting in accordance with fleet law…" Kara took a deep breath and thought over what he was saying. She pictured it; go down to the hold, pull her weapon, aim between the eyes, just like she'd promised. But the thought of Sam lying dead on the ground just made the pain worse._

___She looked to Helo, the tears she'd avoided now threatening to spill over. He put a hand on her shoulder again._

_"__You have your answer. You can still fix this." Kara scoffed, wiping her at her eyes angrily. _

_"__Just that easy, huh?"_

_"__No," he said honestly. "Never easy. It never stops being hard. Even when you think you've patched all the holes, something comes and pokes new ones. But that's part of being married. Being married to a Cylon just means our holes are bigger sometimes."_

___Kara laughed at him but tried to imagine what he was talking about. She tried to imagine telling Sam it was OK, all was forgiven, and they could be happy again. But she couldn't. She couldn't see it. _

___They looked up as Mal came in, Zoe trailing behind._

_"__You OK?" he asked quietly. Kara shrugged and he sighed. "Sorry that I have to force this, but- we still don't know who shot Sam. If Dadik had men spyin' on us, and if there's any chance they saw us movin' the guns, then we're crap oughta luck unless we move fast enough to hit him before he can mobilize. We have to move on this as soon as night falls, or we ain't livin' long enough to see it done. I need to know if you're still up for it."_

_"__I'm in," Kara said without hesitation. She was a soldier first, and that would be all she was for now. Personal crap didn't get in the way of performing your duty. _

_"__And Sam?" Kara swallowed hard at his next question._

_"__You'd have to ask him." _

_"__You'll work with him?" She wished for five more minutes to wrap her brain around everything._

_"__He can still work the mission," she said hollowly, deliberately not answering the more personal implications of his question. Mal either didn't notice or didn't say anything._

___They would get through the raid, and then they would figure out if they were too shattered to glue back together._

___**********_

___It was every nightmare Sam had had since finding out what he was. Only it hurt even more. He was grateful for Kaylee. She sat with him the entire time, eyes kind but not pitying, while everyone else turned away. _

_"__Aren't you going to ask me?" he said to his silent companion. "Ask me why I lied, why I didn't just tell everyone what I am? Ask if I'm some kind of Cylon spy?" Kaylee just smiled at him._

_"__Nah, I think it's obvious why you lied. Fear makes people fong luh. And as for bein' a spy…you saved my life. From what I hear you saved a lot of lives on Caprica and New Caprica. You're a good man, Sam." When Sam looked in her eyes he saw no fear or judgment. He wished it was so easy with everyone else. _

___Jean was the first to come back. Her eyes were hard and wouldn't quite meet his._

_"__How long?" she asked, voice dead._

_"__Since the nebula. I swear I didn't know before then, Jean. And even knowing now, I wouldn't change a second of what I did before. I fought against the Cylons. I'd still fight them. I am the man I want to be." He clung desperately to Tigh's words now, needing her to believe them even as he wasn't sure he did. She didn't say anything, still didn't look at him. But after awhile she sat down. There was a wide space between them, but she stayed, and for now that was more than Sam had hoped for. Kaylee patted his arm encouragingly. The silence in the hold seemed to stretch on forever._

___Finally he heard a procession and looked up to see Mal, Zoe, Kara, Helo, and Athena all coming down the stairs. He stood, and wondered if they'd shoot him on the spot, or take Serenity up in orbit to airlock him for tradition's sake. Mal stopped in front of him. Kara looked past him, hollow eyed._

_"__I'm gonna tell you the same thing I told Sharon," Mal finally broke the silence. "You helped save my crew, you helped defend my ship. Far as I'm concerned, that's all I need to tell me what kind of person you are. We can get into you lyin' about it later, but for now we got bigger problems. Are you in?"_

___It took Sam a minute to realize they weren't going to kill him. Were, in fact, still trusting him to fight with them. His gaze shifted to Kara, wanting her to just look at him. Even a glare of hatred would be better than acting like he wasn't there._

_"__You don't need to look at her, just worry about me," Mal said quietly so only Sam could hear. "The other stuff comes later. Are you ready to deal with the now?"_

_"__I'm in."_

___********** _


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

Sam kept one eye on the sun as it began to set. When it had fully disappeared beyond the horizon, that would be the signal for his group to move in. They wouldn't wait for full dark. Dark was for cover. They had no intention of hiding their approach.

Beside him, Helo stamped a foot on the ground, trying to keep it from going to sleep. Everyone else was still, the tension and adrenaline building. That was good, they'd need the energy very soon. It wasn't a large group, only a dozen or so. They wanted to look small and insignificant. Asha stood on the other side of him. She wasn't happy about being with this wave of the attack, but with Jacob taken hostage things had to be shifted around. The guards had to connect this first wave to the small village, and Asha being front and center was the best way to make that happen.

"I hate waitin'," she mumbled irritably. She scowled and the resemblance to Kara was so great that Sam nearly smiled. Going by the look in Helo's eye, he saw it too.

"Oh, hey," the other man said suddenly, "I meant to give this to you earlier." He pulled a knife sheath off his belt and handed it to Sam. "I'm not all that useful with blades," he shrugged.

"Thanks."

"No problem. We're practically family, after all," he said with a small grin. Sam did smile then. It was good to have at least one old friend on his side.

"If you two are done chatting, we should start movin'." Asha pointed as the sun finally disappeared from view. In the dimming light Sam gave the signal and all fell in as they started to march forward.

Though the planet was largely dry, Dadik had spared no expense in constructing his own oasis so that he could lord his good fortune over everyone else. The compound itself was built with an eye for security but the outlying lands had been crafted for aesthetics. The hills he'd built up blocked the depressing desert views but they also provided the rebellion with cover on approach.

Asha led just a few paces ahead of Sam and Helo, rifle clutched tightly in her hand. This was a moment she'd been planning for years, nearly as long as Dadik had been in power. Sam couldn't fault her for wanting to finally fight back.

The group crested the hill and Sam received his first full look at the structure they were attempting to breach. High white walls ran around all four sides, an outer fence with sentries atop already shifting position in response to their presence. One gate controlled all access to the inner yards and house and it was nearly a foot thick, completely impenetrable unless opened from the control booth inside the walls. Getting them to open the gate was the first step. If they couldn't do that then the whole thing was bust.

**********

John Dadik was a man who enjoyed the finer things in life. Good food, good drink, women, culture. It was one of the reasons he'd sold out to the Alliance. They could give him what he wanted. Of course, the decision to buy a planet had come with a few sacrifices. They certainly couldn't give him anything in the Core, that just wouldn't look good. The border planet they'd offered him, called Lavianth at the time, was far from civilized. But he found the challenge of shaping this world in his image quite thrilling.

It had been necessary in the years following the sale to rule with complete, utter, and sometimes cruel control. After all, these people had to fear him if they were to obey him. They had to be broken if he were to ever trust their loyalty. But soon it would be different. Deshler City was already thriving, the Alliance technology he'd brought with him bringing prosperity to those he'd shared it with. The people there were already mostly cowed, not wanting to do anything to displease him and cost them their newly luxurious lifestyles. In a few years he would start to expand the development. Dadik smiled as he thought of the kids currently being held in a corner of the compound, young men and women who were going to help him. Their conditioning would be complete within months and he could send them out amongst the people to act as ambassadors. And as they extolled the virtues of being in John Dadik's favor he would take more and start grooming another batch. He would be a savior, not a tyrant.

"Sir!" one of his men shouted, running in unannounced. Dadik glanced up, annoyed.

"What is it?" he asked tersely.

"There's a group gatherin' outside. We think the leader is the woman from Connelly's village. Asha Lehane?" Dadik laughed.

"Well, this is sure to be amusin'. Give 'em warnin' but don't hesitate to shoot 'em. If she survives, bring the woman to me. She can join her friend down in the hold."

Dadik rubbed at a spot of blood on the cuff of his sleeve as he watched the man run back out. He'd spent many hours with Jacob Connelly and was quite certain that he was of little threat. A hatemonger to be sure, but he didn't have enough support behind him to even raise an eyebrow. Still, it wouldn't hurt to question the woman, just to be thorough.

**********

Asha came to a stop halfway down the hill, close but not too close. They waited patiently, armed but not firing, waiting as the guards mobilized. Sam closely watched the guns being aimed from above but made no move to fight back. Yet. At last one man stepped forward to shout at them.

"You're trespassin'! Disperse immediately or we'll shoot!"

"We're here for Jacob Connelly! Release him and we'll leave without causin' you harm!" The laughter of the guards was easy to hear, even from a distance. Asha smirked, all fear and trepidation lost to the adrenaline.

"Liam," she called back. "Show the boys we mean business." Sam stepped to the side, rifle coming up as Liam pushed forward. He knelt down and aimed the pulse canon in one smooth move, firing before the men on the wall had time to process what they saw. The shot slammed high on the wall, sending men and debris flying. The rest of the group had started running at the same time he fired, and Sam laid down cover for Liam as they both moved to cover. Helo called out to them and they threw themselves down beside him. Now wedged behind boulders and other landscaping, the rebellion began to fire, each member being equipped with a fully loaded rifle and side arm.

It was chaos, shots firing from everywhere, dirt and grass flying up, smoke from the smoldering wall drifting through the air. Sam could barely see to aim for a target. He settled for shooting where he heard shots coming from, knowing killing guards now was a benefit but not the prime objective. They just needed to hold out long enough to piss them off sufficiently.

Perhaps ten minutes into the firefight the gate began to swing open and Sam nearly shouted out thanks to the Gods. Now to start the second phase.

"Everyone fall back! Fall back now! Back to the rendezvous point! Let's go, go, go!" The retreat was dangerous as they all left their cover, everyone running, weaving back and forth to make hitting them harder. One man fell but no one stopped to help him, knowing it was already too late and slowing would mean more death. As they hit the top of the hill Sam risked a glance back. Two jeeps came careening out of the open gate. Liam came up behind Sam and fired the canon again, aiming this time for the road. Rock rained down again and the vehicles swerved sharply to dodge. Hoping that would buy them enough of a head start they turned to follow the rest of their group.

It was a hard run to the rendezvous and the people on this wave had been chosen primarily for stamina. They sprinted hard, pushing through fatigue and muscle cramps, their goal visible in the distance. The rock formation had once been a solid mesa, on the small side but still prominent on a largely flat landscape. Dadik had carved chunks of the sandstone out to build parts of his compound, but only the best, most attractive parts. What was left was a mangled mess with empty pockets littered throughout.

It was the perfect place for an ambush.

**********

Jayne wasn't a fan of tight spaces. He was a big guy, he tended to not fit. The hole he was currently jammed in was particularly troublesome as there were sharp rocks jabbing into his sides no matter how he tried shifting around. Across the gap Jean and Athena both crouched in their own hiding places. But they were tiny, they didn't have to shove themselves in like a dead sardine to conceal themselves. For possibly the only time in his life Jayne wished, just for a moment, that he was a girl.

"They're comin'," a voice called out. Jayne thought it might have been Julius, but he couldn't be sure. There were another dozen people hidden away, he could hardly be expected to know everyone. At the sound of the warning they all prepared for enemy arrival, making sure weapons were free and no clothing was caught on rocks. They'd need to move fast once they gave up their positions.

Rock clattered against rock as quick feet knocked loose small pebbles. The sound echoed all throughout the maze of the mesa as the returning soldiers scattered and ran through.

"They're right behind us," Helo said quietly as he ran beneath them.

"Fourteen men, two jeeps," Sam added, following closely. They moved on, making noise, drawing the enemy guards in. They waited. When exactly to spring into action was a gamble. Too soon and there might be too many to handle. Too late and their quarry would have passed by completely unharmed. Slow footsteps sounded and Jayne locked eyes with Jean, shook his head. They'd wait for the first wave to pass.

But as the two guards below crept forward shots sounded elsewhere in the maze. They looked up, searching for which direction it came from, and even in the rapidly darkening light saw Jayne. He should have found a bigger hole. The two had barely raised their guns when Jean and Athena dropped onto them from behind. A quick skirmish broke out as Jayne, grimacing, struggled to un-wedge himself. The women dispatched their enemies quickly and were already retrieving weapons when Jayne dropped down beside them.

"Nice of you to join us," Jean teased as she tossed him another gun. "We still need one more."

"You two go ahead, go after the jeeps. If they have any brains at all there should be at least one guard there. I'll stay here and start working." Athena was all business, already moving to unbuckle the straps on the downed guards' protective vests.

"You sure?" Jean asked, concerned.

"I can take care of myself," she assured them, waving them off. They didn't waste more time arguing.

It was hard to move quietly but they did their best, guns drawn and scanning. At every turn Jayne gave a low, quiet whistle, a signal to any friendlies who might be lurking. Going so slowly made him itchy but it was necessary. Though it felt like ages it was probably only a minute or two before they reached the edge. One guard remained watching over the vehicles, but he was no fool. He had positioned himself behind the jeeps and there was no way Jayne was going to get a clean shot. He looked to Jean, asking her with a shrug if she had any ideas. She handed him her gun and Jayne frowned.

"Take the shot if you get it," she hissed. Before Jayne could stop her she stood and called out, stepping into view.

"Don't shoot! Please don't shoot me, I'm unarmed." She raised her hands (which shook slightly, a nice touch in Jayne's opinion) and looked unsure as the guard swung his gun around. "Please, I didn't know what they were planning. I didn't want this. Please don't kill me." The guard hesitated, eyes scanning the edge of the rocks suspiciously. Jayne pushed further back against the rock he hid behind. "I can tell you where the rest of them are hiding."

"Walk slowly towards me, keep your hands up." At the guard's gruff order Jean began to shuffle forward. The gun followed her every move. She took her time, not wanting to spook him. When she finally reached the jeeps the guards grabbed her and pulled her behind them before Jayne could get a clear shot. He cursed under his breath.

The guard pushed Jean against the vehicle, bending her over slightly as he searched her. Finding nothing he stepped away and pressed the gun to Jean's back. From his vantage point behind the rock Jayne couldn't clearly see what happened next, but the end result was obvious. And entertaining. Jean spun quickly and knocked the gun away, a gamble of whose reflexes were faster. Punches were thrown and by the time Jayne had sprinted forward the guards was lying bloody on the ground.

"Never really liked handsy men," she grumbled. Jayne handed her back her gun and bent down to toss the other man over his shoulder.

"Let's get this back to Athena. The real party's about to start."

**********

The grounds were still dusty, which was playing havoc with Eric's allergies. He'd been working Dadik's compound for a little over a year, still a newbie compared to most of the men. Probably why he was stuck on gate duty, away from all the action. Not that they tended to see a much action normally. Still, it rankled to be stuck where he couldn't see a gorram thing that was happening.

"Assault jeep One comin' in," one of the sentries shouted. The gate creaked as it began to glide open, the message having already reached the gatehouse. Eric stood back, waiting with a hand on his gun as the jeep pulled in, the gate shutting behind them immediately.

"Report!" he said shortly, unable to see much between all the extra dust kicked up by the jeep and the watery eyes that dust produced. Even the floodlights, turned on as full dark fell, didn't help

"We got the woman, the leader," a man grunted. Sure enough Eric could just make out the face of a blonde woman. She seemed to match the description he'd been given, and he waved them down.

"We gotta mobilize more men," the man said as he climbed down. "They ambushed us, have a hell of a lot more people and fire power. We need to put 'em down now." Another guard jumped down and headed towards the gatehouse, presumably to relay the same message to the rest of the guards. Eric reached up to help yank the struggling captive out of the vehicle.

"Get off me!" she growled, kicking at him. Eric dodged and the last remaining guard twisted her arm behind her back hard, making her cry out in pain. Eric started to smile, enjoying her grimace after all the trouble she'd caused, when he heard shots coming from the gatehouse. He spun fast, hand going to his weapon.

He didn't see when Jayne raised his gun and slammed the butt into the back of his head. Jayne nearly sneered at how easy it was to get past him. There wasn't a lot of time to gloat though. Asha and Jean ran towards the gatehouse, joining Athena as she finished dispatching the guards inside. More shots sounded from outside and a laser blast blackened the wall just a few inches from Jayne's head. They slammed the door shut before anyone could follow.

The gatehouse was the central hub for the entire security system and it was set up to withstand siege if anyone should breach the wall somehow. With a few key strokes Athena locked it down, strong bolts snapping into place to hold the sturdy door shut, metal blast shields lowering over the already bullet resistant glass. Asha, Jean, and Jayne quickly set about moving the sparse furniture into a defensive configuration, knocking the guard's card game to the floor as they upended the table. It never hurt to be ready. While they finished settling Athena went to work at the control board.

"Wash," Jayne said into his communicator. "Better fire it up. We're in."

**********

Kara stayed on the balls of her feet as Serenity lifted off and shot towards the hills. Finally they were moving, fighting, _doing_ something. She rearranged the strap of her gun so it didn't constrict her movement and looked over at Zoe. The stoic woman almost smiled.

"Ready to show us that Colonial training?" Kara's grin was harsh, almost feral.

"Been ready."

Behind them the hold of Serenity was packed to bursting. People were crowded up the stairs and across the catwalks, pushed in as tightly as they could stand. They all held weapons just like Kara and Zoe. The annoyed shuffling of feet and grumbled swears announced Mal's arrival as he pushed through the crowed towards them.

"Well, can't say I'll ever complain about a crowded ship again," he said irritably, twitching his nose against someone's offending body odor. Kara had noticed hygiene wasn't a top priority for these people. Not that she could really blame them, she still didn't like to remember the primitive showers on New Caprica. The cold hadn't been the only reason she and Sam had tended not to visit every day. In fact- Kara cut her thoughts off abruptly. Sam was a forbidden topic.

"You think this is actually going to work?" Zoe asked, casting a skeptical eye back towards their small army. Before the attacks Kara wouldn't have thought so, but she'd seen firsthand what civilians could accomplish when push came to shove.

"Depends on Athena getting' that security shut off," Mal mused. "Man to man those guards may be better armed and more experienced, but ours _want_ it more. It's more than a paycheck to them."

"Too bad we couldn't just land directly in his backyard, bypass all the extra work." Kara was still displeased with the number of steps they had to take. Too many groups, too many things that could go wrong.

"Yeah, well, Dadik's scum but he's not stupid." They had argued about it. The simplest plan would be to land a ship behind the wall and go from there. But there was no place big enough and flat enough to land a ship Serenity's size, and there were two large laser canons housed in the corner sentry posts that would drop them before they could get close. But now that Athena had successfully breached the wall and was in control of that room she should be able to shut everything down and throw open the doors to welcome them in.

"Captain," Wash's voice floated over the speakers. A hush fell in the hold as Mal picked up the communicator.

"Go ahead."

"Athena confirms large munitions are down and the gate will open on my mark. ETA to drop off is thirty seconds." Wash's voice fell silent and Mal turned to the waiting soldiers.

"Listen up. You all know the plan. You all know this is life or death, and you can believe without question there will be death. You don't have the best trainin'. You don't have the best weapons. You don't have the advantage of numbers. You're the underdogs, the ones everyone expects to fail. But it don't matter what they expect. You have the opportunity to do something incredible today. You have the chance to stand up and refuse to be treated like possessions to be sold to the highest bidder. Whatever happens from this point on, know that you can stand tall and be proud." He looked at Kara.

"Remember what you've been taught. Don't stop moving until you find sufficient cover. Stay low to the ground. If you run out of ammo or your gun jams drop it and find another one. Stand together, stand to your duties. We're all in this together. So say we all!" They were hesitant, unused to the call. But Mal and Zoe took it up and soon the shouts echoed throughout the ship, deafening.

"SO SAY WE ALL! SO SAY WE ALL! SO SAY WE ALL!"

Kara turned front as the ramp began to lower. She, Mal, and Zoe stood together, shoulder to shoulder, and prepared to lead the charge.

**********


	18. Chapter 18

___**Chapter 18**_

___"Athena, Wash. Ready when you are."_

___"Copy that Wash. Gate is opening now." They watched on the security camera monitors as the guards started to scramble back, moving to reposition themselves. But Serenity was already there, they had no time to fully deploy to effectively combat the flood of people pouring through the open gate. Because Serenity had no weapons they'd had to improvise. As guards still in the towers began to fire, the snipers tied to the top of Serenity fired back. Jayne nearly laughed. That had been his idea, and it worked brilliantly. Maybe Mal and Zoe would take his suggestions more seriously in the future._

___They could hear thumps and thuds and scraps as men outside kept trying to penetrate the gatehouse's defenses. It was hard to remain inside, watch on a screen as Mal and Kara took out a barricade that had been serving as cover for the other side. Hard to see Zoe leading a group of rebels against a line of guards who weren't ready for the headlong charge. Jayne didn't consider himself a soldier but gorram it if he didn't want to shoot his guns with everyone else._

___"I'm almost there," Athena hissed, working furiously at the controls, seeming to sense everyone's impatience. "Almost- there!" The computer made a series of beeps and Athena smiled. "I did it, I'm through." Asha slapped her on the back and she laughed._

___"Mal, Athena, are you there?" Athena had to shout into the communicator to be heard over the noise on Mal's end. For a moment all that came over the speaker was crackling interspersed with incoherent yells. Finally a voice called back. _

___"Captain's busy, what's up?" Zoe sounded winded and annoyed, and in the background Jayne could make out what sounded like Mal yelling "Come and get it you bastards!"_

___"Doors are open whenever you want to use them."_

___"We'll start moving in. Do they know the system's down yet?"_

___"I'd be surprised if they didn't. Expect a fight. Athena out." She set down the com unit and Jayne pushed in._

___"Great, now can we get the guay out of here?"_

___"Just one more thing." Athena stepped away from the consol, moving Asha with her, and took out her sidearm. Three shots across the boards sent sparks flying, and Jayne coughed a little as he waved a hand to clear the smoke._

___"Why couldn't you just do that in the first place?"_

___"Because the console runs the system, it isn't the entirety of the system. This is to make sure no one can reactivate after we leave."_

___"There's no controls in the house?" Jean asked._

___"There are, but they're attached to the main security server, and I left a few presents. Anyone tries to reactivate at the source, a virus will cause a power surge and wipe out the circuitry."_

___"Sounds great, are we ready to go yet?" Jayne just didn't do patient._

___"You can still get us out of here, right?" Athena nodded at Jean._

___"Wall panel control, separate from the rest of it."_

___They used the monitors to check the positions of guards outside, then lined up with guns drawn. Athena reached over and keyed in a code and the door locks unsnapped. Jayne didn't waste any time pushing through hard, slamming the door into the guards working outside. With surprise on their side they broke free and ran for the line of trees that had been planted along one side of the wall. Kara stood behind one, ducking out to fire any time she got a lock on a target._

___"Decided to join the party?" she shouted over the weapons fire as they all took up positions._

___"It ain't a party until someone breaks out the grenades." Jayne pulled the pin and lobbed it hard towards a barricade. The men hiding bailed out just before it blew, and Jayne and the others opened fire. _

___"Asha, you still want inside?" Kara asked._

___"Damn straight."_

___"Jayne, Jean, wanna clear us a path?" Jayne followed her gaze to Mal and Zoe as they led a few other people towards a side door._

___"I got no issues with that." They stepped out in tandem, each firing short bursts, more concerned with keeping others from firing on Asha, Kara, and Athena as they ran than actually hitting the enemy. The others all reached the door and slipped inside, shutting it behind them. _

___He and Jean moved to duck behind the tree line again when Jayne felt a blinding heat in his leg as a bullet tore through. He yelled and cursed even as Jean was already pulling him the rest of the way to cover._

___"_Gao yang jong duh goo yang," he swore, pushing on the wound with his hand to stop the bleeding as Jean returned fire.

"How bad?" she called without looking. Jayne took stock, raising his fingers enough to see the hole. Blood immediately began to pour out and he quickly replaced his hand. He tried to flex his leg but the pain was intense.

"Not too sure I can walk right about now." Jean looked at him sharply and moved to his side. She examined the wound but added nothing to his self diagnoses. As she peaked back around the trunk to keep watch, Jayne fumbled at the buckle of his belt. He may not be an Alliance trained surgeon but he sure as hell knew how to stop a bleeding wound.

"Here, let me." Jean took the belt from him and wrapped it around his leg. She threaded the end through the buckle and pulled tight. Jayne grunted against the pain and took hold of the belt, keeping it tight and in place. With his free hand he handed her back her gun.

"Keep shooting." She nodded once and leaned back out to fire. Jayne picked up his own weapon and heaved a sigh. He couldn't fire well from this position, but if they came he wasn't going out until his clip was empty.

**********

Dadik listened to the shooting and screaming outside and scowled at his drink. Why it was taking his men so long to put this ridiculous nonsense to a stop was beyond him. He was clearly going to have to make an example out of some of the more useless members of his security force.

The same man who had come before was back now, panting and with a cut dripping blood into his right eye.

"Sir! They've shut down security. I don't know how, but they're in the house. We need to move you!" Dadik stared at him coldly.

"I'm not about to be driven from my home by your supreme incompetence. Call up the guards stationed in Deshler City."

"Sir, they're already in the house, it's too late-"

"I did hear you the first time. Call them now." He watched the security monitor he'd had pulled up for the last half hour while his man made the call. Whoever had disengaged the security hadn't bothered to disable the cameras. No need, he supposed, as their presence was hardly a secret they were trying to keep. Still, it did give him one advantage. He watched Malcolm Reynolds lead a group down one of the hallways and smiled.

"Sir, the Deshler contingent is mobilizing now, but it will take them time to-"

"Leave me. Take all the guards with you."

"Sir-"

"I said GO!" He let his anger show then and the man scurried off quickly. Dadik turned back to the monitor. Reynolds would come find him, he knew it. Then they could finally settle the business of the past and he could concentrate on the future.

**********

___Up on Serenity's bridge Gaeta smiled as Dadik's man disconnected, and gave Wash the thumbs up._

___"Worked like a charm. He had no clue who he was really talking too."_

___"Well gosh," Wash said, voice full of overblown and insincere concern. "I hope he wasn't counting on backup. That would be rather inconvenient." He flipped a switch to engage thrusters and slowly pulled up and away. "I'm glad you got your com system working. Ours isn't sophisticated to pull an intercept like that."_

___"Now if I can just fix the projection units to extend the range, next time we won't have to sit in the middle of a battle field to use it."_

___"Don't worry about it. Our girl's tough, she can take a few stones being thrown at her. And now all we have to do is go pick up our people left back at the rocks and head back to town. Wait for the pick up call."_

___**********_

___Sam laid the body of a young man next to the other's. Ten dead guards, four surrendered, and eight dead from their side. It could have been much worse. He joined Helo and they stared into the dark, listening to the distant sounds of weapons fire. They could see Serenity approaching, flying low, and Sam breathed a sigh of relief. _

___"I've been thinking," Helo started, eyes never moving._

___"Yeah?"_

___"The plan says we get a progress report and head back to the village. Triage our injured and set up a defense just in case we lose or Dadik tries to counterattack. But Liam and Julius are more than capable of leading that. And we've got an extra jeep." He looked at Sam then, mischief in his eyes._

___"It couldn't hurt. Kara does tend to get herself into trouble. And I'm pretty sure it's my turn to rescue her." Helo laughed as they headed towards Serenity, now landed next to the rock formation._

___"I'll do you a favor and not mention that to her. Ever."_

___**********_

___It was dark in the house. Not so dark they couldn't see, but they moved cautiously. Kara looked back at Athena as they paused at another corner, waiting and listening._

___"Are you sure it's this way?" she asked again. Athena glared, irritated._

___"For the last time, yes. There are holding cells all along the southwest corner and into the sublevels."_

___"But you don't know for sure where Jacob is?" Asha asked, hushed. Athena shook her head._

___"There were life sign readings in multiple cells. I couldn't tell who was who. The good news is I think we've found the kids he's been taking." Kara listened to it all as she swept the next hall, taking care to move silently. They'd come this far, they sure as hell weren't leaving without everyone. But the longer the search and rescue took the more likely they would come under fire. _

___At the next branch of hallway Mal stopped them, motioning Kara and Zoe to the side._

___"This seem a little too easy to you?" Kara shrugged._

___"Most of the guards are probably fighting outside. I don't think they realize we've gotten in yet." Mal nodded, then looked back the way they'd come._

___"You take the group, get those people out of here. I'm going after Dadik."_

___"Whoa, wait a minute," Kara snapped, grabbing his arm to keep him from moving. "We get everyone out, then head for Dadik together. That's the plan. Even if most of the guards are preoccupied, there have to be some on him. One person by themselves doesn't stand a chance."_

___"Plan's changin', and a chance is exactly what I got. You think I don't know how that piece of luh-suh thinks? I'm here and he knows it."_

___"You think he'll let you get to him." Zoe was already catching up._

___"I think he's been waiting from the second I stepped onto this gorram planet." Kara hesitated, still not happy with the deviation._

___"I don't like it. You go off on your own, you're cut off from backup. You're at his mercy." Mal laughed. _

___"I can be pretty resourceful when the occasion calls for it." Zoe raised her eyebrows but said nothing._

___"Get goin'. I'm gonna be mildly annoyed if I get this done and you lot are still wanderin' around lookin' for directions." He shuffled off without giving them any more chance to protest. Though the others look confused they said nothing. Kara looked at Zoe._

___"You think he can do it?"_

___"I think he thinks he can."_

___"That's reassuring."_

___The cells had opened when the security had shut down, though no one inside had realized it. After they quickly took out the guards standing by, they threw open the doors and started to pull people up and out. Kara felt her gut clench when she saw the rooms. They didn't look like cells, they looked like homes. Comfortable furnishings, books, blankets, food. Nothing that could be used as an effective weapon. A familiar claustrophobic feeling took hold as the rooms seemed to shrink, becoming more and more like the prison cells the pretty facade was hiding._

___She started when Zoe grabbed her shoulder._

___"You OK?" Kara took a deep breath and let it out._

___"Yeah, I'm OK." She walked away from the room and tried to refocus. She hadn't been prepared for it, that was all. She wouldn't let herself get sucked back into Leoben's sick fantasy world again. He was dead, and she was rid of him. _

___Asha and Kara found Jacob in the sublevel holding cells, his face black and blue, his body bleeding, but alive. He didn't seem to realize they were there until Asha knelt next to him and took his hand, speaking softly. _

_"__I didn't tell him. I didn't tell him nothin'. An' he believed." He smiled through the pain._

___Another of the freed prisoners, a girl Asha recognized from a nearby village, helped get him to his feet, throwing his other arm over her shoulders so that he was held upright between the two women._

___They rejoined Athena and Zoe and the other escapees on the main floor. Zoe took point, Kara right behind, as they headed for the exits._

___They didn't get very far._

___No sooner had Zoe stepped out into the hallway when shots rang out. Kara pulled her back and they returned fire briefly before Athena keyed in a code that had the door slamming shut._

___"Frak me. Did you see how many?" Kara asked Zoe. The other woman nodded._

___"A lot. Athena, is there any other way out?"_

___"No, that's why the cells are in this wing. That door is our only exit. The sublevel's cut off too. They must have known we were coming for the prisoners, that's why we didn't face much resistance on the way in."_

___"They were waiting to trap us." Kara cursed and looked around. Asha and some of the others pushed a large cabinet in front of the doorway. It only housed extra blankets for the cells, nothing they could use as weapons, but it would slow them down if they tried to get in. _

___"Frak."_

___**********_

___It wasn't hard for Mal to find him. Dadik made it easy._

_"__You know," he said, sipping something, probably brandy if Mal remembered his tastes. "You always had a flair for the dramatic, Mal. I always found it rather annoyin'."_

_"__I do seem to have the effect." They faced each other, both with guns holstered for now._

_"__What exactly are you hopin' to accomplish with this little stunt?"_

_"__See, that's the difference between you and me, Dadik. I don't see fightin' for freedom as a 'stunt'."_

_"__How can someone so cynical be so naïve? Wake up, Mal. There's no such thing. Someone's always the top dog. I was just smart enough to make sure that was me." He gestured to the opulent room they stood in, as if that was proof enough he was the better man._

_"__Yeah, it's a very, very fine place you got here. But I can't help noticin' you weren't smart enough to keep us out." Dadik laughed dismissively, a sound that put Mal's back up. _

_"__Making it in counts for nothing. Making it out is what matters. And from what my guards tell me, your side's losin'._

___**********_

___Jayne couldn't see squat from where he was. It was dark, it was smoky, and he couldn't move more than his head without causing tremors of pain to shoot through his body. Despite the makeshift tourniquet his wound continued to bleed, though at least it had slowed. He was hoping Mal got his ass in gear and wiped out the crazy evil dictator soon so they could all go home. He never thought to look forward to seeing the Doctor's smug face, but there was a first time for everything._

_"__How you holding up?" Jean asked, taking a break from laying down fire._

_"__I could use a pillow; my ass is goin' numb. But you can't have everythin'." She laughed but it was halfhearted. The continued sounds of gun shots told him they were still in the fight, but that didn't mean it was going well. "Can you see anythin' out there?" She leaned against the next trunk, peering around._

_"__The guards have themselves barricaded pretty good."_

_"__Must be easy to hide in a house while-"_

_"__No, not the house. In front of it. They've got something piled up, maybe sandbags. I can't see it well enough."_

_"__You got any grenades left?" _

_"__No. You?" He didn't. _

_"__Maybe you should try to get closer, see what's goin' on." She shook her head._

_"__I'm not leaving you here alone. You're in no shape to fight."_

_"__Hell woman, I got arms, don't I?" _

_"__You going to aim one handed around a tree while keeping yourself from bleeding to death?" He was about to come back at her when her eyes went wide and scared._

_"__Move."_

_"__What? I can't-"_

_"__MOVE!" She grabbed the front of his shirt, hauled him up. Every step was agony, but as they limped out from behind the trees Jayne saw the grenade launcher aimed their way and found the strength to move a little faster. Seconds later heat exploded behind them and they were flying._

___Jayne didn't remember landing. He was airborne, and then he was flat on his back staring up at the stars and the breath was knocked out of him. His hearing was muffled, though not gone, and he had a feeling his leg was bleeding profusely but didn't have the energy to lift his head. Even without moving it soon became clear that he hadn't landed on the hard ground. He was lying on bodies, rebels who had fallen where they stood. Though not particularly squeamish about death, he still wished he could move away._

___He felt something moving nearby, and then Jean was crawling into his line of vision, her hands going to his face._

_"__I'm OK, I'm OK," he croaked out. She dropped down, half on top of him, and whispered in his ears._

_"__Play dead."_

___Her head dropped down limp on his shoulder and they held their breaths, listening closely to the stomping feet close by. Covered in blood and camouflaged amongst the other dead soldiers, they were overlooked as a trio of guards made a sweeping pass. Gunfire began in another part of the yard and they moved off, leaving Jayne and Jean where they lay._

___She raised her head cautiously, looking around, looking defeated._

___"It don't look too good, does it."_

___"No." She reached down, tried to tighten the tourniquet again, but it was a losing battle. They both knew it. Her hands came back up to his face, stroked his cheek lightly._

___"I'm glad we met, Jayne Cobb."_

___"Likewise, Jean Barolay."_

___Jayne didn't kiss women. The kind of women he found companionship with in his wanderings weren't the kind of women you kissed. But when Jean pressed her lips to his he kissed her back._

___"Go on, keep fightin'," he said when they broke apart._

___"You'll bleed to death."_

___"I'll bleed to death whether you're here or not. Just do me a favor. Take as many of those sons of bitches out with you as you can." She smiled at him sadly, eyes watery with unshed tears. _

___"That I can do." She kissed him again, soft and lingering. This time when she broke away she pulled off him completely, crouching down low, gun drawn and ready to fire. He pulled his own out. He wouldn't be much help, but from this position he could at least shoot. He had no cover and would more than likely be dead as soon as he gave himself away. But that was preferable to him any way. He always figured he'd die in a fight. Jean looked back at him one more time he nodded to her. She braced to push off, aiming a sprint for a new cover and a chance to keep fighting._

___And then she stopped._

___Jayne craned his neck, managed to push off just enough to see what she watched. A jeep careened into the yard, kicking up dust and shining it's lights across the barricade where the guards had made their stronghold. Jayne had only a moment to realize what was happening, and to notice two figures bailing out, and then the jeep crashed into the barrier and the night sky came alive with fire. Jean threw herself on him as the explosion rained debris down around them._

___He coughed, the ash and Jean's weight making his lungs burn. Realizing the problem Jean immediately pushed off him, running her hands over him to check for additional wounds. _

___"You know," a voice called from the dark, "you could at least wait to grope him when I'm not around. My stomach can't take it." Sam Anders stepped from the night, grinning and brushing dirt off his pants. Helo came up after him, also grinning. In his hands was the med kit from the jeep they'd just blown up._

___And in that kit were blood stoppers._

___**********_

___Mal and Dadik didn't just hear the explosion, they felt it. The whole house shook, pictures and trinkets came tumbling down, and they both crouched low to steady themselves._

___They came up guns drawn._

___"You know, this really is ridiculous. You ain't exactly a beacon of moral fortitude, Mal."_

___"Never claimed I was. But I don't make my living off blood money." They moved, circling each other, eyes locked._

___"Do you really think the war would have turned out any different without me? You were always on the losin' side Mal, face it!"_

___"We ain't never goin' to know what might have happened because you sold out your comrades! You betrayed your oath, you betrayed your people. You have no honor."_

___"You think I give a _jung chi duh go-se dway about honor? I'm a God here! I control everythin'! What has honor gotten you? A rat hole ship that's fallin' apart faster than you can put her back together and a crew composed of the dregs of society! You have nothin'! NOTHIN'! Do you really think you can kill me? Huh? Do you really think you're the one that does me in?" His eyes were crazy, wild, completely unfocused. Mal had always thought a person had to be a little crazy to be that cruel, but this was beyond what he had expected. He could surround himself with as many hired hands as he wanted, but in the end Dadik had practically exiled himself. Cut off from everything but hatred and scheming he had truly lost his mind.

"No," Mal said at length, lowering his gun. "I don't think I'm the one that kills you. I really, really don't."

A shot rang out, Dadik's eyes bulged in shock and disbelief. Mal watched him fall to the floor and realized it was enough. It was enough to see him die but not to be the one to do it.

From the shadow near the door Alice stepped into the light, her revolver still drawn, a look of perfect calm on her face.

"Captain," she said quietly. "If it's alright with you, I think I'd like to go find my son now."

**********

___They were cut off from all communications. Athena couldn't patch through the house coms without triggering her own virus and the thick, reinforced walls of the prison wing blocked the communicators from Serenity. They didn't know what side had cause the explosion or how much damage it had caused. For all Kara knew the whole damn compound was going up in flames._

___"Look, I know it's not the best option. But I've never been one for standing around and waiting for things to happen to me. If I'm going out today, I'm going out on my terms."_

___"What exactly are you suggesting," Zoe asked her, rechecking her gun for the twelfth time in five minutes._

___"I say we go out swinging. We charge out firing, try to use the element of surprise to push the line back some, maybe get some room for everyone else to make a run for it."_

___"It's suicide," Athena pointed out calmly._

___"She's right," Jacob said, pushing heavily to his feet. Asha stood with him but he waved her off, staying upright under his own power. "We've come this far. I'm not ending tonight a prisoner of that monster again. If we die here then at least we died opposing him."_

___"I would rather die than go back in that room," one of the other girls spoke up, eyes hard. Kara looked around at their group, locking eyes with each and every person there._

___They had a consensus, that didn't mean they had a plan, not really. 'Rush them' wasn't exactly the pinnacle of military strategy, but with what they had, with what they didn't know, it was the best they were going to get. If there was one thing Kara would never do it was lay down and die. She would keep firing her gun until she stopped breathing if that's what it took to get them out of here._

___She and Zoe and Athena lined up, ready to go. They didn't waste time. There were no speeches, no readiness checks. There was no point. They were as prepared as they were going to be._

___The kids moved the cabinet back out of the way and Asha keyed in the control just as Athena had shown her. Kara went out low, rolling on her shoulder and coming up on one knee, gun aimed._

___There was no one there. _

___A throat cleared loudly and the women all swung their guns around. Mal and Sam leaned lazily against the wall next to the door, arms crossed, waiting patiently._

___"If you're all done playin' hide and seek now, Wash is waitin' outside."_

___For the first time since she'd met her Kara heard Asha laugh._

___**********_


	19. Chapter 19

___**Chapter 19**_

_"T__ah-shr suo-yo dee-yure duh biao-tze duh mah!_" Jayne cursed as Simon finally pulled the bullet free of his leg.

"Stop being such a baby," Simon said evenly, though Jayne suspected he was enjoying this far too much.

He'd lost a lot of blood but Sam and Helo had arrived with the medi kit in time. Jean stood by the table in Serenity's infirmary, smiling at him every time he cursed or growled, as if it was the most precious sound she'd ever heard. It made Jayne feel happy. Which was just weird, but what was done was done. And what was done was that Jayne had fallen head long into love with her. At least, that's what he thought it was. He couldn't be sure, never having even been in _like_ before, really. Maybe he'd ask Inara.

Catching sight of the companion as she lounged outside with the rest of the crew, waiting for news, he changed his mind. She was already giving him knowing smirks, the last thing he needed was to give her more ammunition.

"Alright, I'm done here, and I have a lot more work to do. I'm going to need this table, so you're going to have to get up."

"You just pulled a bullet out of my leg and now I gotta get up and walk?" Simon was unsympathetic.

"Yes, your suffering must be terrible. How unfortunate." Jean laughed at them both and helped Jayne stand, draping one of his arms over her shoulders. He wasn't particularly comfortable putting too much of his weight on her as they limped forward, but he had to admit it felt pretty good to have her tucked up against him.

"You gonna live?" Kaylee asked as they emerged.

"He'd better," Jean spoke as she helped ease him onto a chair that Helo had vacated for him. "I'm gonna be pretty pissed if we bothered to haul his heavy ass all the way back just so he could croak now." Everyone laughed, but any further joking was cut off as Jacob walked in from the hold, arm in a sling, cuts bandaged.

"What's the news?" Kara prodded, leaning forward eagerly.

"Mixed," he said somberly. "We lost a lot people, more than half. But Dadik's dead, the guards who weren't killed have surrendered, and old government officials are moving to fill the power vacuum before some new tyrant thinks to proclaim himself king."

"It's a good start," Book pointed out.

"Yes," Jacob said, smiling. "We have a lot of work to do, but this is everything we hoped for. Everything we've been planning for. And we have you to thank for it, for all of it."

"You did more than your fair share," Mal demurred.

"We're having a celebration out in the village. It would be an honor if those of you who are able bodied would join us. You've earned it." Wash grabbed Zoe around the waste and danced her towards the door as she laughed.

"I always love a good party."

"Hey," Jayne called after him. "Bring me back some food, will ya? Hey!" Wash ignored him, as did everyone else as they filed out. Everyone except Jean who just laughed at him.

"I think food we can manage on our own." She rain a hand through his hair, such as it was, and leaned down to kiss him. This time, flying high on painkillers, Jayne was able to respond more enthusiastically than before. He grabbed her and pulled her onto his lap and she giggled against his mouth, arms coming up to circle his neck.

"Oh _Gods_. What did I say about doing that when I'm around?"

"Sam," Jean said without turning around. "You're not my dad, no matter how many times you try. Go away." She resumed her task, biting his lips slightly and making him hiss.

"You hurt her, Cobb, and I'll pop your head off like a balloon. Got it?"

"Sam!" Jean shot back, twisting in Jayne's arms to face him. "Go. Away!" But they were smiling at each other, and Jayne had a feeling there was something else happening he didn't quite understand. Which was OK with him, really. Figuring out the interpersonal relationships of everyone else on board wasn't something he had ever tried to do and never would.

"You sure you're not up for the party?" she asked when they were alone.

"Nah. Never thought I'd hear these word come out my mouth, but I've had enough excitement for one day."

"You think maybe you're up for just a bit more?" He narrowed his eyes.

"What do you have in mind?"

"Well, if you're really that tired we should probably get you to bed. And since that involves climbing up stairs and then down a ladder, I think I'm going to have to help you."

**********

The celebration was in full swing when Mal swaggered into the square. People were dancing, singing, laughing. There was food and music and general merriment everywhere. Yet it was still easy to spot Inara.

"So, come here often?" he asked, sliding up beside her. She smiled at him.

"It's an incredible thing to see. I'm glad you took this job, Mal. This was important."

"Look, um, about what happened the other night-"

"I'm still leaving." And they were back to that.

"Inara-"

"I told Kaylee." That shut him up. "When we were alone, waiting for wounded to start coming in. I told her I would be leaving soon."

"How did she..."

"She cried. She asked me to stay. She accepted it." She turned from him to stare out at the crowd again. "I know what you're going to say, Mal, but I can't-"

"You're right." She searched his face, confused. "You're right," he said again. "We can't go on actin' like nothin's happened, and I can't...If this is what you need, then do it. Just know that you will always be welcome on my boat."

She leaned in and kissed his cheek softly.

"You're a good man, Mal. When you want to be." He grinned. "Speaking of men who aren't so bad when they try," she continued, "did you see the way Jayne was looking at Jean?"

"No," he said immediately. "I most definitely have not seen anything at all regarding Jayne and whatever emotions he may or may not have managed to actually conjure. Nor do I have an interest in bein' enlightened."

Sharon and Karl wondered by, arms looped around each other. They were happy, sharing drinks with their fellow victors, proud of what they'd helped accomplish. And yet there was a sadness lurking just below the surface, and Mal was reminded that they had a difficult task ahead of them.

Recreate foreign, advanced technology from the scraps they could afford, hook it up to a ship, and start looking for a needle in the biggest haystack there was. He'd given them his word, but it would be no small feat to keep it.

"I'm gonna head back to the ship," he mumbled to Inara, recapturing her attention.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I got some stuff to look over. If anyone asks, maybe I'll be back down later." His celebration had already taken place. He and Zoe had raised a glass to the men and women they'd fought with in the war, the ones who hadn't come back because of Dadik. To them it was closure on an old wound, something to be satisfied with. That didn't mean he felt like partying with everyone else.

As he wandered back up he took a look at his ship. She had a few dings but she had held up. She would fly true. There weren't a lot of things that could be counted on in life, but this ship was one of them. If anything would get them to the Colonial Fleet, Serenity would.

**********

Sam didn't realize anyone was in the bunk until it was too late to back out.

"Sorry," he mumbled to Kara when she looked up. "I didn't know you were here. I was just coming to change." He motioned to his dirt and blood stained clothes.

"Yeah." She motioned to a pile of dirty clothes on the floor. "Me too." They stood there awkwardly, neither really knowing what to say. Sam wanted to apologize again, try to explain once more. But he'd said everything that could be said. He couldn't make her forgive him, he had to let her process on her own.

"I'll go." He started to back out when she called his name. Taking a deep breath she faced him squarely.

"Look, I don't know what to tell you-"

"You don't owe me anything, Kara."

"Would you shut up?" she glared. "What I was trying to say is that I don't know what I feel. I don't know...for some reason I believe that you didn't know. And I guess I can understand why you lied once you did. But I can't act like it doesn't change things. I can't just...forgive and forget. I'm sorry." He shook his head sadly. He'd known that was coming from the moment he confessed.

"It's OK. It's not your fault."

"I am glad you're OK," she offered tentatively. "I'm glad you made it through the fight." Sam grinned a bit.

"Did a bit more than 'make it through'." She laughed before she could stop herself.

"Well, you were always good with a bomb." Her smile was brief and didn't quite reach her eyes, but she was trying, he could see that.

"I'll ask Mal about getting new quarters." She nodded and he moved to leave.

"Sam," she called, stopping him again. He looked over his shoulder and saw her reach into the bottom of one of the dresser drawers. She pulled out the bag that held all her paints and brushes and held it up for him to see.

"What's this?" she asked.

"They're yours."

"The ones I asked you to get rid of?"

"Yeah. I thought you'd want them back later and regret leaving them behind. So I ignored you." She didn't say anything right away and Sam wondered if he had misjudged her. Or maybe it was just different now that he was a Cylon.

Then she smiled.

"Maybe you're not wrong. Thanks."

It was something. A start. She didn't hate him. She didn't trust him, but she didn't hate him. Maybe that's as close as they'd ever be now, but Sam couldn't help but believe that maybe with time things would get better.

He would wait for her. He always did.

**********

Kara wasn't sure what drew her to the bridge. As far as she knew everyone was down at the party. But up she went, and somehow she wasn't surprised to see Mal there, leaning back in the pilot's chair, watching the stars through the front window.

"Not in a partying mood?" she called out.

"Not particularly." She came in and stood by the chair, arms crossed staring up with him. Up in the cold black, somewhere, Adama and the fleet were waiting. They couldn't wait forever.

"How are you handlin' things?" he asked quietly. Kara sighed.

"I've had better weeks, but I'll live."

"Sick of our little world yet?" She laughed.

"You kidding? Spend three years on this boat and tell me you don't love every planet your feet touches, just a little." He heaved himself to his feet and turned to face her.

"We've got a lot of work to do before we can even think about going after your people. And then we have to plan that whole process out. Could be you're going to be her for awhile. Maybe you'd like to tag along on a regular basis." She quirked an eyebrow.

"Are you offering me a job?"

"Technically you're already doin' it, just thought it'd be polite to ask formally. 'Specially since Jayne's likely to be out for awhile until he heals up some."

"So you want me to be your muscle?" His smile was kind, understanding.

"I want you to be part of my crew and do whatever it is you can. We help each other out on this ship. You're problems are our problems, ours are yours, you get the picture."

Kara was used to belonging to a crew. It was how she'd lived for the past few years, how they'd all kept themselves alive. What he was offering wasn't just help. That they'd already been given. What he was offering was friendship, something a lot more permanent. She thought of Athena, Helo, Gaeta and Jean. Even Sam. They would all stick together, there was no question of that. They were outsiders in a strange world and that would bond them even if they weren't friends. But Mal was offering a true partnership and home with people who would be able to back them against whatever was thrown at them next.

"I think I could handle that," she said at last. He held out a hand.

"Welcome to the crew of Serenity, Kara Thrace."

**********

River stood on the catwalk overlooking Serenity's hold. The celebrations still echoed in her head, and she smiled to herself. They were all so happy. She liked it when they were happy. She closed her eyes and let herself go back home, to her family's garden. She loved to dance here, were it was so quiet and she could be happy too. She lifted her arms, pointed her toes, moved into a rhythm that was like breathing. But _they_ were standing on the outside, waiting, waiting to take her away again. Two by two, hands of blue.

Her eyes snapped open and she shook her head violently. _Don't close your eyes, don't sleep, don't dream. That's when they find you, creeping in like wolves to eat away until there's nothing left._

"You won't have to be afraid much longer," the woman standing next to her said gently. River could never seem to keep track of when she was there and when she wasn't. She seemed to _always_ be there, but of course that was impossible.

"But you trust me, even though you don't understand." She always seemed to know what River was thinking too. This was an unusual role reversal that River didn't care much for. The woman smoothed her hands over River's shoulders.

"Hasn't everything I've told you to do worked out for the best? Creating a homing signal for the Demetrius wreckage to bring those men, tipping off the Alliance on Persephone. Even shooting Sam. You didn't want to do those things, but you did them because you trusted me. And now everything is falling into place."

Place, pattern, strings interconnected in webs of theory and possibility. She saw. River could only see some, but the woman showed her more. It was all leading somewhere and nowhere and everywhere, and some were the right strings and some strings had to be cut and-

"And we'll make sure everything happens as it should. Don't worry, little one-" she turned River's face and kissed her gently.

The woman in the red dress smiled.

"It's all part of God's plan."

___**********_

___The End_


End file.
